


nobody like you

by pilotsirens



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Asexual Character, Bisexual Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Demiromantic Character, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, I feel like there's a lot of deep talks in this, I haven't read Harry Potter in ages please don't come at me for any innacuracy, I love that it's a tag let's keep spreading the bi felix agenda, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix, Shy Yang Jeongin | I.N, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, demisexual hyunjin, it's really soft, no one is straight, there's a ball!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 49,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25757545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pilotsirens/pseuds/pilotsirens
Summary: Hyunjin is quite popular at school. It's mostly because of his looks. Maybe partly because he's a muggle-born in Slytherin and that's rare enough to be noticed, but mostly because of his looks. He has a lot of success with students, and he's often been told he was everyone's crush. But Hyunjin, even if he gets three love confessions a week, never found someone he really liked.Enters Yang Jeongin, a cute Ravenclaw who happens to like stars and animals and books and be the cutest human being Hyunjin ever met.So, maybe Hyunjin is questioning now.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 58
Kudos: 209





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing this new fic like I don't already have five others waiting for me to be completed but I NEEDED to write some soft hyunin
> 
> well, enjoy this mess !
> 
> (disclaimer : in this house we don't support jk rowling and her transphobic ass. i just took this universe to make it better and more diverse than hers <3)

Hyunjin is quite popular at school.

It’s mostly because of his looks, not matter how he hates people reducing him to this. He’s been elected Prettiest Slytherin Boy twice (though nobody knows who actually makes this ranking, it’s quite a reference amongst students), and people do double take when they pass by him in the halls, because apparently, he’s _that_ stunning.

Well, he’s never paid much attention to it. He knows he’s conventionally attractive, but it’s not like he wants to take advantage of it, because he didn’t choose to look like this. He just wakes up every morning with that face and that’s it.

Sometimes, he wishes other students would be more interested in him than in his hair or smile or whatever it is they find pretty about him. It’s like no matter what he does, they’ll be repeating the same thing over and over: “Hwang Hyunjin, right? He’s the prettiest boy in the whole school! His future girlfriend will be so lucky!”. For once, he’d like to hear: “Hwang Hyunjin, right? He’s really smart and kind, and he must be an amazing friend!”. Because he’s trying so hard to be a better person each day, but the only thing people ever seem to notice is how he has a nice face. He’s not even exaggerating. Half the school wants to date him even though they haven’t spoken to him once.

It’s… exhausting. He desperately wants to say that he’s more than that, he’s more than his looks, that he has subjects he’s passionate about and interests he wants to share with others. Whatever he does, he knows there’ll be someone to pay attention to him, but for the wrong reasons. He’s waiting for the day when people will start seeing him for more than just a pretty face.

He knows what they say when he gets praised. _It’s just because he’s handsome. If he was ugly, there’s no way he would be so popular._ Like if he succeeds, it’s only because of this. 

But his looks aren’t the only reason people stare and whisper when they see him. His family’s history also has something to do with all the fuss about him. After all, it’s not every day you see a muggle-born get into Slytherin. No wonder he’s known in the whole school just for existing. He suspects it’s also the reason why so many students are trying to get close to him. Because whether he wants it or not, he’s unique, and therefore popular, and popular people attracts attention.

He's used to it by now. That’s why when he spots a girl walking towards him and his friends, holding a letter in her hands, he knows what’s going to happen. Another student who’s fallen for him and who wants to ask him out. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Chan notices her, too, judging by the way he straightens up next to Hyunjin, as if he wants to get a better look at her. They’re both seated against an old oak tree by the lake, enjoying their day off.

“Look who’s coming,” Seungmin snarls mockingly. “Lover boy has another admirer.”

Hyunjin smacks him in the stomach, and he lets out a painful groan. His friends always make fun of him for his tendency to receive so much love letters, but he can’t really blame them. At this point, he gets a ridiculous number of confessions each week. It has become a running gag for them.

The girl is getting closer now. She’s probably a year or two younger than him, with a round face and blue braids tumbling on her shoulders, matching with her Ravenclaw uniform. He’s seen her before in the hallways, but he’s never talked to her before, he’s sure of that. He sighs, getting ready to reject her in the nicest way possible.

“Hi,” she says once she’s in front of them, blushing slightly.

Hyunjin thought they’d found a peaceful place by the lake, not crowded like every other area around Hogwarts, and that they would actually be able to relax without having to deal with this, but oh well.

“Hi,” Chan answers with a smirk.

This boy is such a flirt, Hyunjin could swear he’d probably throw a pick-up line at the minister of magic if he had the chance.

“I-uh, actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you, uh, in private,” she stutters, looking at Hyunjin right in the eyes.

He waits a few seconds, like she’s suddenly going to disappear if he wishes it hard enough, but it doesn’t happen, so he gets up and follows her as she leads him to the lake.

The sun shimmers on the surface of the water. There’s no clouds in sight, and it’s quite hot for a mid-October day. Not that he’s complaining: Hyunjin loves being able to be outside without having to wear five layers of clothes. Autumn is his favorite season, because it’s not too warm but not too cold either, a bit in between, and it’s just perfect.

“Oh, uh, I forgot to introduce myself,” chuckles the girl, who seems nervous. Her voice is slightly trembling, and Hyunjin can’t help but feel sorry for her. “I’m Naima. Uh, you probably don’t know who I am…”

He often wonders how people can be attracted to someone they’re not even close to. It’s got to be only physical attraction, because how can they decide they like him otherwise, if they never talked before? Once again, they reduce him to his looks, forgetting about everything else that makes him a person.

“No, sorry.”

The girl -Naima- is herself quite pretty. She’s shorter than him, but that’s usually the case. She’s fidgeting with a silver bracelet she’s wearing on her right wrist, and he notices her nails are painted in white, which stands out on her dark skin. Her soft brown eyes are looking everywhere but at Hyunjin. If he’s honest, her shyness adds to her charm, and she’s probably his type. But he’s not interested. How could he, when he doesn’t know everything about her?

As much as he wishes he could be like anyone else and go out with random people just for fun, he just can’t bring himself to do it. There’s something about dating that feels way too intimate for him to do it with strangers, even if there’s a possibility they’re really nice and he’ll end up having fun. He knows his friends aren’t like that, and that they already hung out with someone they barely knew just because they seemed cool and wanted to get to know them better.

But Hyunjin finds it weird. Maybe it has to do with the fact that he’s an introvert, and that social interactions in general are a hassle. Or maybe he just needs to know someone well _before_ actually thinking of romance. Isn’t it how it’s supposed to be? You spend more and more time with someone and then you realize you’re in love with them. It’s not the other way around, “you meet someone you want to date, and you only get to know them after”.

At the same time, he knows that if he’s going to go on a date one day, he’ll have to talk to a stranger eventually. But he always thought he would be friends with them first, not that they would go straight into the “lovers” phase.

It’s even worse with people who already have a crush on him. He would be too uncomfortable going out with someone knowing that they expect him to reciprocate their feelings. That’s why he systematically rejects anyone who ever comes at him to confess. He’s aware that he’s maybe missing the love of his life, but there’s something about people liking him just because of his looks that feels wrong. Because it’s obviously the reason they like him. What else?

Maybe if they tried a different approach, tried to get to know him before jumping straight to the “I love you” part, he wouldn’t be so suspicious. But it has never happened. They always confess, and then suggest hanging out to learn more about each other.

This time is no exception.

“We don’t know each other yet, because I’m French, I just transferred from Beauxbâtons, and… Well, ever since I arrived, I kept noticing you in the hallways and in the park, and I wanted to ask if you… Would agree to go on a date with me? Because I, uh, find you really cute, and you seem like a nice person, so I…”

“Oh, uh, I’m flattered, but I’m already in love with someone.”

It’s a lie, but she doesn’t have to know, and he finds it nicer than just saying “I’m not interested, bye.” At least she won’t think it’s her fault for not being attractive enough or something.

Naima opens her mouth, then closes it slowly. She’s blushing even more now, and stumbles on her words when she answers:

“Oh, yeah, of course, I hadn’t thought about that. I’m sorry for disturbing you, I’ll go now, uh… I wrote you a letter, so I’ll leave it to you, but if you don’t read it it’s fine, probably a bit cringy, aha… I also wrote my number in it and… Hm…Well, bye!”

She gives him the letter before running away, so fast that Hyunjin just blinks, his brain still trying to process what just happened. He looks at the envelope in his hand. It’s white, with his name written in cursive purple ink: _Hyunjin._

He can see Chan and Seungmin watching him, so he shoves the letter in his pocket and joins them.

“Let me guess. You told her you were already in love with someone else,” says Seungmin sarcastically when he sits between his two friends.

Hyunjin doesn’t answer, but his silence is taken as a yes.

“You’re hopeless,” sighs Chan. “Why don’t you give her a chance, at least?”

“I can’t imagine going out with someone I barely know,” groans Hyunjin. “I’m shit at social relationships and she’ll end up being disappointed anyway. And the whole concept of dating someone before knowing them stresses me out.”

“You know, maybe she just genuinely wants to get to know you better because you seem nice,” points Seungmin. “What’s so awful in meeting new people? It’s not like you’re forced to date them after, you can just stay friends.”

“Yes, but it gives them false hope! Plus, I literally don’t understand how people can have crushes on someone they never talked to. I can’t wrap my mind around this concept, so it would just feel weird, I guess.”

“You literally had a crush on that one girl from Hufflepuff last year, and you’d never talked to her before.”

“Sana? That’s different. I knew she was nice, and funny, because she was doing those book reviews on Youtube and I was subscribed to her channel. So, I still knew a bit about her.”

“Well, what makes you think people haven’t seen your dance covers and they’re impressed and want to get close to you because you’re just amazing in them?”

“Okay, first, thank you for the compliment, and second, I would literally die of embarrassment if someone at this school found these covers.”

“But they’re so good!” exclaims Chan, tilting his head.

Hyunjin can feel his cheeks heating up. He puts a lot of work in these covers, and he always gets shy when his friends praise him for it. They matter a lot to him.

So he quickly changes the subject, because he doesn’t know how to deal with compliments.

“Anyway, the point is, I’m not interested in any of these people, so why should I bother trying to know them better? It’ll just be a waste of time, and they’ll be disappointed in the end. I may not be close to them, but I don’t want to hurt anybody.”

“Maybe you’d actually find someone interesting,” suggests Chan. “But you won’t know if you don’t try.”

“Well, I don’t want to try. I’m fine by myself for now.”

“That’s a good way of thinking. Romance is overrated anyway,” declares Seungmin, closing his eyes and laying down on the ground.

“You say that like you don’t have the biggest crush on the cute Gryffindor who’s next to you in Muggle Studies.”

“Shut up!”

Hyunjin avoids the rock Seungmin throws at him and starts laughing, seeing the boy getting all flustered at the mention of the guy he’s been crushing on since last year. Hyunjin doesn’t even share the same class as them, because he takes Divination as an option instead, but he feels like the boy is one of his friends since Seungmin talks about him literally all the time.

_You should see his smile, he lights up the whole room just by smiling, and he has the softest eyes ever, and he has such a cute accent, and his hair look so fluffy when it’s early in the morning and he just woke up, and he has a deep ass voice but he’s so cute so the contrast is surprising at first…_

Hyunjin could probably write an essay about him by now. The worst part is, Seungmin and him aren’t even that close. He only talks to him when they need to get paired up to work on presentations, but every one of their conversations is analyzed later by the three of them, trying to see a hint that he’s maybe interested in Seungmin too.

It’s difficult, because the boy in question is nice to everything and everyone. He’d probably apologize to a tree if he bumped into one. So it’s hard telling if he is being all cheerful to Seungmin because he actually likes him or because it’s just the way he acts with everyone.

“I’m right though,” argues Hyunjin, who immediately puts some distance between him and Seungmin in case he tries to hit him again. “When are going to make a move?”

“ _Never_. I don’t even know if he’s into boys anyway.”

“Have you looked at him? The boy radiates bi energy!”

“I’m with Chan on this one. Plus, who couldn’t not like you? You’re one of the best humans on Earth.”

“I don’t think you know enough humans to make this statement.”

“Irrelevant. The point is, you’ll never know if you don’t try!”

“That’s literally what Chan told you earlier, and you dismissed the idea.”

“Don’t change the subject! We’re talking about you and Lee Felix right know.”

At the mention of his name, Seungmin makes a strangled noise and curls up on himself. Hyunjin sighs. This isn’t going to be easy.

He’s sure his friend has a chance, he really does, but Seungmin is convinced of the contrary. He spends most of his time whining about how Felix is out of his league and how he would never go out with someone like him. Chan and Hyunjin disagree, but none of their words seem to make a difference.

He’s seen Felix before, even though he never talked to him. Seungmin had showed him to them when they were all seated together in the Great Hall. The boy is at Gryffindor, and it’s true that he’s really pretty. He’s always smiling, too.

Seungmin and him would be really cute together. And he’s been pining over him for so long that it’s about time something finally happens between them. What he needs is just a little push on the back.

Hyunjin makes a decision, and before he can think about it in details, he opens his mouth to say:

“Okay, you know what? We can make a deal. You ask Felix out on a date, and I’ll accept to hang out with the next person who comes and confess to me, okay?”

“Who says someone is going to come and confess to you again?” groans Seungmin, but Hyunjin only raises an eyebrow.

Of course, he can’t be sure of that. But since the beginning of school year, he has received four confessions in five weeks, so he has all reasons to believe it will keep going. And if no one comes, well, he won’t be the one to complain, and it’ll be too late for Seungmin to go back.

“Yes!” exclaims Chan, way too enthusiastic about this. “Maybe my two best friends will finally have boyfriends!”

Hyunjin doesn’t bother to precise that he may find a girlfriend instead, because there’s no guarantee that a boy will be next to confess. He already regrets this. He really, really hopes no one will come to make a stupid declaration. Maybe if he dies his hair green or orange, they will stop finding him pretty? Except he likes his black hair too much to do that.

He’s doing it for Seungmin. So he’ll finally stop whining about Felix. That’s what he needs to tell himself.

“Okay, I’m in,” says Seungmin. “But I’m waiting for you to have someone before I make a move.”

“What? It’s not fair!”

“You didn’t think you’d get out of this so easily? I know you, Hwang Hyunjin. If I ask Felix tomorrow, you’ll just keep rejecting everyone after that just like you do now because it’d be too late for me to turn back.”

This boy is a demon.

“Okay, fine. Whatever.”

There’s a big grin on Chan’s face. Seungmin is pouting, and on his cheeks there’s a slight blush.

“I hate you, you know that?” he says.

“Yup, I’ve been told.”

But Hyunjin can’t help but smile too. He will worry about this whole dating thing later. For now, he’s with his best friends, and they have the whole afternoon to themselves.

Well, that’s not entirely true. Technically, they’re supposed to be back in the Slytherin common room by eight pm, because they’re on cleaning duty. Since the house elves are no longer working at Hogwarts, the students have to take care of these kind of things by themselves, and they take turns. Thankfully he still managed to be with his friends. Cleaning isn’t fun, but cleaning while being in a room with two strangers would be way worse.

But it’s only a quarter past three, so they still have time. And they know exactly what to do: nothing. It’s their last year at Hogwarts, and God knows they’ll be drowning under assignments in just a few weeks, so they need to relax while they still can. They went to Hogsmeade the day before and their pockets are full of chocolate frogs and many other sweets, which means they’re ready to spend the best afternoon ever. 

Hyunjin lies on the ground next to Seungmin, using his cloak as a pillow to be more comfortable. He’s not particularly tired, but there’s something about the warm atmosphere and the soft breeze that makes him feel sleepy. It would be so easy to close his eyes and to take a short nap…

“Crap, I put chocolate on my shirt,” groans Chan while wiping desperately said shirt, to no avail.

Well, he guesses a bit of rest is too much to ask when you’re friends with Bang Christopher Chan. Even at night, he’s always fumbling around, finishing an essay or working on new spells or catching up on lessons he missed. He’s got a Time-Turner to make it easier for him, because he takes an awful number of classes, but he still works when he’s supposed to be sleeping.

The amazing thing is, he still manages to succeed in everything he does. He’s a genius, but a sleep-deprived genius. Maybe it’s a requirement to be a genius. Hyunjin wouldn’t know.

Isn’t a genius someone who is a natural? Hyunjin gets good grades, but nothing comes easily to him. Being both muggle-born and a Slytherin has put a lot of pressure on him ever since his first year, and sometimes he still feels like he’s a fraud and doesn’t deserve to be where he is now, no matter how much he tries to convince himself he’s worked hard for this.

It’s not the house in itself. Sure, Slytherin has had a reputation of being the place where assertive and powerful people went, but it has evolved a lot over the years, and now it’s no longer a house reserved for a certain elite, even if some students like to think they’re superior because they come from a long lineage of wizards.

Still, Hyunjin feels like he’s failing his family sometimes.

Every time he gets complimented for something, he smiles and thanks the person, but he doesn’t believe it, not really. _They’re saying this to make me feel better. They’re nice because they’re my friends._ Only a few times in his life the compliments really felt genuine, and it was when they were coming from perfect strangers. Because in that case, it couldn’t be because they pitied him.

Being friends with Chan isn’t exactly helping, because he can’t help but compare himself to him. But it was even worst when he they were in first year and second year. Hyunjin was easily impressionable and desperate for recognition, so he tried to imitate Chan in everything he was doing, forgetting who he was in the process.

It’s a lot better now. Hyunjin has learnt to be more self-confident and to be proud of who he was. He never stopped admiring Chan, but now he can admire who he has become, too. It’s partly thanks to his two best friends, partly thanks to himself.

He looks at them now, trying to wipe away the chocolate from Chan’s shirt, oblivious to the deep thoughts running through his head. Seungmin keeps repeating than Chan is a dumbass, and Chan tries to be respected as he’s older than both of them (spoiler : he’s failing). Hyunjin smiles. It’s a simple October afternoon, nothing special, but he’s so glad to be here with them at this very moment.

*

He forgets about the deal he made with Seungmin after that. The weeks go by, and he’s so caught up in school assignments that he barely has the time to send letters to his family to tell them how he’s doing. It seems to be the case for everyone else, because after Naima, no one comes to give him love letters or anything of the sort. He’s a bit relieved. Rejecting people isn’t something he likes to do, so he’s glad people seem to have stopped finding him attractive. Maybe they just collectively realized they had no chance with him.

Either way, he’s enjoying walking in the hallways without people staring at him. It’s good to take a break sometimes. 

Well, not that he sees many people at this hour. The library just closed, and he’s going back to his dorms, but most students are already in their bedrooms or in the common room of their house. He was up this late to finish an essay for his Astronomy class, but the librarian told him he had to go to sleep eventually.

His essay was so interesting he didn’t notice it was already 10pm. He had to choose a constellation and retrace its history, from when it was discovered to the meaning of its name, before explaining the influence of this constellation on the Earth. He had a hard time choosing which one he wanted to work on, but he finally settled on Vulpecula, the Little fox. It remined him of his favorite book, The little prince, where the protagonist befriends a fox and they have one of the most beautiful and meaningful conversations ever. To be honest, the book as a whole is beautiful and meaningful. Of course, Hyunjin cries every time he reads it.

He is headed to the Slytherin common room when he realizes he’s forgotten his scarf at the library. He curses under his breath and stops in his tracks. But there’s no point in going back, because it’s closed now anyway. He’ll just have to go tomorrow before his first class. It’s no big deal, so he brushes the thought away and go back to his room, even though his mood is a bit down now. It’s not the usual Slytherin scarf they’re handed at the beginning of first year. This one has been knitted by his grandmother, who sadly passed away two years ago, and it means a lot to him. Mainly because it’s a gift, but also because it’s a proof than his family is proud of him for being in Slytherin, that they think he belongs here, even if other pure blood students don’t share this opinion.

The absence of his scarf is still bothering him when he enters his bedroom and finds Seungmin already asleep and Chan up working as always. The sight of his friend focused on whatever he’s working on tugs at his heart. He never speaks about it, but it’s obvious that he’s exhausted most of the time. Being in seventh year is a lot of work, and he was abroad for two years working in a shop, which means he has to work twice as hard to catch up with the classes.

“Oh, Hyunjinnie, I hadn’t seen you.” Chan turns on his chair to face him. “Where were you? Seungmin couldn’t wait to show you the pictures he took at Hogsmeade this afternoon, but you weren’t coming so he fell asleep.”

Hyunjin feels guilty at the thought of Seungmin waiting for him excitedly with his camera in hand, only to go to bed disappointed when he never came. He scratches his neck and sighs.

“Shit, I’m sorry… I was at the library finishing the paper for our Astronomy class.”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry, he’ll show them to you tomorrow. I thought you had already finished it though?”

“No, I was originally doing it on another constellation, but then I had a better idea and I had to redo it completely. But it was worth it, I’m much prouder of what I did with this one. It was like I had this connection with the topic, and so working on it didn’t feel like working at all.”

Chan smiles knowingly.

“It’s easier to work on things that we like. That’s why I always try to tie my assignments to subjects I’m passionate about. This way, I don’t have the impression that I’m doing homework.”

“What are you working on right now?”

He removes his cloak and put it on a chair before getting closer to Chan to take a look at what he’s doing. His notebook is filled with lots and lots of numbers.

“Is that arithmetic?”

“Yup.”

“Ew, _math.”_

“Excuse me? Math is a very good subject.”

“Math is awful, and I don’t know how people can like that.”

“Because we’re all different and unique and we don’t have the same interests...?”

“Meh, I guess you’re right,” sighs Hyunjin before plumping on his bed. “Although I hate to admit it. Can’t you just let me hate on math like Seungmin? No, you have to be more intelligent than that, of course.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” chuckles Chan.

“It is. I hate intelligent people. I hate talented people in general. They’re annoying.”

“Wow, you must _loathe_ yourself in that case.”

“I- what’s that supposed to mean?!”

Chan doesn’t answer, only winks to him and then gets back to his work. Hyunjin feels his cheeks heating up and grumbles. This boy is going to be the death of him.

After that, Chan keeps writing and writing. Hyunjin would normally read a bit, but he’s feeling tired, so he quickly undresses, puts on his pajamas and snuggles in his bed, his mind already drifting towards comforting things to fall asleep more easily, like he’s been doing since his childhood. He doesn’t react when Chan pats his head before going to bed as well, because he’s already snoring softly at this point.

*

“Hyunjin? Hyunjinniiiiie, wake up!”

Hyunjin doesn’t want to wake up, because he’s too comfortable right now, wrapped up in his sheets and blankets, and the idea of opening his eyes is too tiring. But then someone starts _shaking_ him and he whines, trying to hit whoever is disturbing his peaceful night.

“We’re gonna be late for Professor Flitwick’s class - _again_ \- if you don’t wake up immediately.”

Class? But who would want to go to class when sleeping is much more agreeable?

“Hyunjin, I swear if you don’t get up right now I’m getting a glass of water and -”

This actually has an effect on the sleepy boy. His mind is still blurry and he’s having trouble forming coherent thoughts, but he has a clear memory of a splash of freezing water thrown at him at 7 in the morning and he doesn’t want to reiterate the experience.

“I’m waking up, I’m waking up, don’t throw water at me please!”

He rises and finds himself inches away from Seungmin, who looks a bit annoyed. It’s understandable, since he has to face the same scene every morning. Hyunjin is a late sleeper, while Seungmin rises at dawn fresh as a daisy. And they’re almost every day late because of Hyunjin’s tendency to get as much sleep as he can. Chan leaves first, because he meets the teacher before every class to make sure he understood everything from the previous lesson. He’s determined to succeed, and the teachers appreciate that.

“What time is it?” Hyunjin slurs, still trying to figure out where he is and why he’s suddenly awake.

“Half past seven, and we’re supposed to be having breakfast already.”

“Oh shit,” he mutters, before getting up and scrambling to get to the closet.

It’s the same thing every day, but he never learns. Seungmin must be fed up with him, but still he’s here every morning, waiting for Hyunjin to wake up, screaming at him if necessary. Even when he knows that he’s going to be late as well, he’d rather stay with him, because that’s what friends do. Hyunjin is glad to have him as his friend.

Years of waking up too late have at least taught him one thing: to get ready quickly. In five minutes, he’s dressed, with his bag ready. Seungmin raises his eyes, but the second after his usual smile is back on his face.

“We’d better hurry now, because there’s no way I’m going through the day without my caramel pancakes.”

“Chill, no one actually eats that except for you, there’ll still be plenty.”

He remembers halfway on their way to the Great Hall that he’s supposed to get back his scarf, and tells Seungmin to eat without him, that he’ll be back in no time. The library isn’t too far away, so he runs there in hopes to find his scarf quickly. Except when he actually gets here, there’s a whole bunch of Ravenclaws doing botanic research, and there’s a boy seated at Hyunjin’s usual spot. His scarf is nowhere in sight.

Hyunjin hates talking to strangers when it isn’t necessary, so his first instinct is to look around. Maybe it fell on the ground, maybe he missed it. But he realizes he looks weird walking between the tables and looking at the ground desperately. So he finally gathers enough courage to go ask the boy who’s seated where he was yesterday if he has seen it.

He’s obviously younger than him, since Hyunjin is in his last year, but not that much, maybe just a year or two. He has straight black hair falling onto his eyes, and the usual Ravenclaw uniform, except his is a bit disheveled. He doesn’t seem too focused on his work, since he’s doodling in the margins.

“Hmm… Excuse me?”

The boy raises his head right away, and his eyes widen when he identifies the one talking to him. At the same time, a slight blush spreads on his cheeks, and he opens his mouth slightly, but no sound comes.

“I was wondering if you’d seen my scarf. I was here yesterday, and I’m sure I left it here.”

“Oh, uh, a Slytherin scarf?”

He’s so flustered it’s almost funny. Hyunjin doesn’t like to make fun of others, but there’s something so endearing about the youngest spluttering and blushing that makes him smile in spite of himself. It’s not like he wants to brag, but he’s used to having this effect on people, and sometimes it’s amusing.

“Yes, a Slytherin scarf.”

“Yes, uh, it was here, but I gave it back to the librarian because I didn’t know who it belonged to.”

Hyunjin suddenly realizes he’s being stupid, because he could’ve just asked the librarian first. And so he stays for five seconds frozen in his spot, eyes locked with the cute boy in front of him. Then he figures maybe he should move if he doesn’t want to seem weird.

He’s about to turn around and go to the counter to ask for his scarf when he spots a book half hidden by the boy’s textbooks. It’s not that surprising considering they’re in a library and they’re literally surrounded by books. But Hyunjin could recognize this one anywhere. And before he can think too much about it, he points to the book and asks, surprised:

“You’re reading _The little prince_?”

The boy in front of him seems confused for a second, but then his whole face brightens. He grabs the book and looks at it with an air of fondness. Hyunjin still can’t believe his eyes.

He’s used to having to explain to everyone his muggle references, the books and the songs and the tv shows, because children from wizards’ families have their own books and songs and tv shows and therefore there’s a lot of things they can’t understand about each other.

At first, he felt left out, unable to really fit in because it seemed like he had to catch up with years of cultural references he had no idea existed before receiving his Hogwarts letter. He already felt like an outsider in Slytherin, with people looking at him furtively, and it was even harder because when he wanted to make friends, he discovered that there was a gap between them.

It changed when he met Chan and Seungmin, who were eager to discover a whole new culture, and Hyunjin was more than happy to let them into his world. They even took muggle studies as an option to understand him better so he could feel more accepted.

But apart from them, almost no one knew a lot about muggle culture. So seeing someone randomly at the library with a muggle book, his favorite on top of that, was unsettling.

“Hm, yes?”

Okay. Hyunjin needs time to process this information, but he has to act like he isn’t totally freaking out.

“I- How do you know it? It’s a muggle book.”

If the boy is surprised, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he seems less shy than a minute ago, as if it is a subject he’s comfortable talking about. Hyunjin can relate. He is awful at making conversation, but the idea of talking about something he loved eases his anxiety a bit.

“My mother is a muggle. She used to read it to me when I was young.”

“Oh, I see. My parents are muggle too, that’s why I know it,” he adds before he can really think.

It isn’t a secret, but he doesn’t usually shoot it from the rooftops. But it has escaped his lips before he could think of it. The boy doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, he’s looking at him with wide and earnest brown eyes.

“It’s my favorite book!” he exclaims, and that’s when Hyunjin is finally convinced he’s dreaming.

If you’ve met someone who shared the same interest as you, then you can maybe understand what it feels like to suddenly feel connected to a perfect stranger, just because you know he’s passionate about the same thing as you. You are hit with the realization that maybe, all that you’ve felt, someone felt it too. And you’re suddenly filled with hope and something else, eagerness to get to know this someone better.

Except Hyunjin is still a very shy introvert, and so no matter how much he’d love to express all this, he just physically _can’t_.

“Oh, I like it as well,” is all he manages to get out.

It doesn’t discourage the boy, as he smiles widely, not bothered by Hyunjin’s visible coldness.

“I’m so happy to find someone who read it too! It’s so cool!”

“Yeah, totally. It’s such a wonderful book, I read it like ten times and I never get tired of it.”

“Me too! It’s so simple, but at the same time it makes you think about life and you just question everything around you when you close it. I’m amazed by the writing because the characters are just, ethereal, but at the same time what they say is so real? I don’t know how to express it. But it’s so great!”

He’s so enthusiastic Hyunjin immediately wants to be friends with him. This boy just puts word on everything that goes through his mind every time he reads the book. Except he can’t, because he has to get his scarf and join Seungmin for breakfast and go to class, because he’s already late. And he’ll probably never meet this guy again, except maybe if he passes by him in the hallways. He’s not even in the same house and same year as him.

“Uh, yes, but I, uh, I should probably go,” he starts, and the boy deflates slightly. “To get my scarf and all. I haven’t even eaten yet, so…”

“Okay, sure, well, it was nice talking to you! You should hurry if you want to get breakfast, because they stop serving in ten minutes.”

“ _Shit,_ you’re right. Uh, I’m happy I found someone who likes this book, too,” he adds, because he doesn’t want to seem rude. “Maybe I’ll see you around?”

“Sure!” The boy nods, and his cheeks are a bit red again, like he just realized he’s been rambling to a perfect stranger about some children book. Hyunjin himself doesn’t know what to think, because it was both really weird and kind of enjoyable.

When he finally gets his scarf back and exists the library, he stops and turns to look at the boy, who returned to his homework like they never interacted in the first place.

He feels like he’s just gotten out of a dream. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> initially I planned on doing a short cute fic around 10k words but oh well, seems like my passion for slow-burn can't be contained. 
> 
> so we're in for more, guys :D
> 
> also, side note : I wanted to put them in different years according to their ages, but in the end they're all in the same year otherwise it doesn't make sense, except Jeongin who's one year younger (yeah just roll with that, it isn't really important to the story anyway)

The next time Hyunjin meets the boy, it’s two weeks after their first encounter and he’s headed to buy sweets at Honeydukes. It’s almost December, and he can’t wait to go home and to bring his family Chocolate frogs, Fizzing Whizzbees and Pumpkin Pasties. It’s also the last time he’ll be able to go to Hogsmeade before long, so he has to buy them today, even if it’s a bit early for Christmas presents yet. Technically, they can go every weekend as long as they have a written authorization from their parents, but he’ll be too busy the weeks after because of all the exams scheduled, so it’s their last homework-free weekend.

But he knows his mother is very fond of wizarding candies, so he does his best to bring her some every time he goes home, especially at Christmas. She always makes sure he doesn’t feel too lonely at Hogwarts by sending him muggle sweets, so the least he can do is to return the favour. Besides, going to Honeydukes is always synonym of a good time. Chan, Seungmin and him buy enough chocolate to get an indigestion, and then go drink some Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks’ Inn and spend the afternoon here. It’s a nice pub, often frequented by Hogwarts’ students, with a warm and welcoming atmosphere.

It’s even more pleasant to be here in autumn, when the wind is freezing, and the sky is filled with large grey clouds. Hyunjin can’t wait to get in, because he’s afraid his fingers might fall off if they stay outdoors one more minute. Thankfully, Honeydukes isn’t far from the inn, so they spend a total of thirty seconds in the cold street.

At this hour, the pub is teeming with people their age, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors and Slytherins alike. They still manage to find a table in a corner, between two ecstatic boys with red and gold scarfs and some adults drinking Firewhisky at the counter. 

“I could kill for a Cherry syrup right now,” groans Chan once they’re all seated.

“Don’t kill me, I haven’t dated Felix yet,” declares Seungmin.

“Oh god not this again - Minnie, I already told you that you just have to ask him,” yawns Hyunjin. “I’m sure he’s waiting for you.”

“But it’s hard!”

Mme Rosmerta interrupts them to ask what they want to drink. Chan chooses his beloved Cherry Syrup, Seungmin a classic Butterbeer and Hyunjin opts for a simple soda. Once she returns with their drinks and leaves, they go back to their discussion immediately.

“I’m tired of hearing about him every day being your crush while I could be hearing about him being the most perfect boyfriend,” adds Hyunjin, sipping his soda.

“He’ll probably say the same things anyway. Oh, Felix is _so_ cute, and -”

Before Chan can go on any longer, Hyunjin administers a violent kick to his shin, which gets him to whine loudly. He opens his mouth to protest but doesn’t have the time to do so, because right after Felix shows up with three pints of Butterbeer in his hands, to join the two Gryffindors at the nearest table who cheer for him loudly. Hyunjin saw him coming, since he’s the one facing the counter, and he just avoided a very awkward situation.

Seungmin is bright red, and he’s looking anywhere but at the blond boy. They stay silent for a moment, before Felix notices them and his smile gets wider.

“Seungmin! Hi!”

This time, the poor boy has no choice but to turn to his crush and talk to him. Chan looks at Hyunjin, and he has a shit-eating grin on his face. Hyunjin can’t help but to mirror his smile, because they’ve been waiting for a situation like this for so long.

They only ever saw Felix from far away, in the hallways or in the Great Hall. Finally, they’ll be able to have a better understanding of what makes him so fabulous. The two Gryffindors beside him have also stopped talking and seem to be following their conversation with interest.

“It’s fun seeing you here! Do you come here often?”

“Almost every weekend, yeah,” says Seungmin, his voice barely audible with the background noise of all the customers laughing and drinking and chatting.

“What’s that? I can’t hear you.”

Blushing even more, Seungmin gets closer to Felix to repeat what he just said. The blond boy nods in acknowledgement.

“I see! We usually stay at school during weekends, because Jisung…”

He glances over to his friend, the one with a cute round face and big sparkly eyes. Hyunjin has never been one to crush on a stranger, but he does admit that his heart misses a beat when the boy in question looks at him. Right after that, he does a pouty face and Felix laughs before patting his head.

“Yeah, right, maybe I shouldn’t actually ramble about your life in front of everyone we meet. We usually stay at school during the weekends, so that’s why you don’t see us often.”

“Oh, and what made you go out today?” asks Chan, because of course he’d try to make new friends, even when facing his best friend’s crush.

Seungmin doesn’t seem to mind the sudden interruption, in fact, he looks almost relieved. Felix speaks to Chan with the same ease he’d been talking to him. He’s obviously the kind of person who makes friends in no time, just like Chan. Hyunjin sometimes wishes he could be like this, open and loud as he is with his friends but in public. Whoever decided to make him shy deserves to rot in hell, because his life would be so much easier if he could just _talk_ to people.

“We wanted to go out one last time before the exams,” sighs Felix. “The next weeks are gonna be no bed of roses.”

“Don’t tell me about it, I want to hide in my room just thinking about it.”

They complain about the upcoming exams for a few minutes, before Felix suddenly hits his forehead with the palm of his hand.

“Oh, but I haven’t even introduced myself yet! I’m Lee Felix. Seungmin and I share a class. Maybe he told you about me?”

Hyunjin chokes on his drink, and Chan raises an eyebrow. Seungmin looks like he’s about to pass out, and he’s looking at his best friends with wide pleading eyes.

“I think he mentioned you once or twice, yeah,” sneers Chan.

Thankfully, Felix doesn’t seem to notice the sarcasm in his voice.

“This is Jisung, and this is Eric.”

The two boys say hi. Jisung has black soft hair, and his glasses are a bit crooked, but it adds to his charm. Eric has blond hair, a sharp jaw and a cocky smile. They both seem really nice. Hyunjin doesn’t know any Gryffindor, but they can’t be that different from them. He knows that not so long ago, the two houses used to be sworn enemies, but this is all in the past now. The Slytherins are no longer the bad guys, and the Gryffindors are no longer the heroes.

“It’s so great to finally meet you! We should do this again, I’m sure we would get along!” exclaims Felix. “We could start hanging out.”

Seungmin is ready to combust any moment and Hyunjin is trying to find an answer that wouldn’t make him look like he hates the idea. Chan is the one to finally speak again.

“Sure! Well, it’ll probably be hard with all the work we have to do, but after Christmas, it’d be totally okay!”

Felix’s whole face lights up. Like, literally, it’s like someone turned on a switch. The boy is a sunshine personified. No wonder Seungmin is head over heels for him.

“Isn’t there a ball organized just before Christmas? We can see each other there,” asks Eric, and Jisung immediately looks at him with a panicked face. “Shit, forget that, I wasn’t supposed to tell.”

Jisung sighs. “Well, I guess it’s too late now…”

“A ball?” exclaims Chan. “What? How? When? Where? Why did I not know about it?”

“It’s not official yet,” explains Jisung. “I’m part of the organizing committee, that’s why they know about it. We decided to keep it a secret until the 1st of December, just to make sure we had everything planned before telling people about it. It’s nothing too fancy, really. Don’t get your hopes up. We’re a small group of students, usually in charge of planning events like the annual Hogwarts fair, the Quidditch cup and so on, but this year we wanted to do something special, to celebrate the anniversary of the castle. We think a ball is a good idea to bring people together and to have a good time. If It works well this year, it could even become a tradition, so to say we’re pressured is … An understatement.”

“That’s amazing! I had no idea students took part in organizing events. I guess I always assumed the teachers were the one taking care of everything.”

“Well, they’re not. They don’t exactly put flyers in the hallways to recruit students like every other clubs, so that’s why not many people know about the committee. McGonagall comes herself to ask if we’re interested.”

“She never came to me,” protests Chan. “I would’ve been so invested in this!”

“You left for two years,” remarks Seungmin.

“But I’m here now!”

“I don’t know how the students are chosen,” says Jisung, visibly flustered to be the center of attention. “I’ve just always been interested in planning events, and she knew about it, so I assume she chose me for this reason.”

“Either way, it’s awesome. I can’t wait to go to a ball. Oh my god, can you believe it! An actual ball!”

Of course, Chan is always on board when it’s about partying. Hyunjin is more sceptical. Sure, he likes the concept of a ball, because it’s an occasion to be with his friends and to enjoy the evening, but as always, it’s like there’s something preventing him from truly appreciating the idea. He can’t help but picture himself in the middle of a crowd, seeing people having fun and drinking and dancing and him just standing there, helpless and not fitting in, no matter how hard he tries.

It’s like everyone is obsessed with parties, and he can’t understand the hype. He’s much better at home with a book or with some friends playing video games or talking about anything. But he attends them anyway, because that’s what people his age do, and sometimes he even has fun. But a ball… Having the whole school in a same room, that was going to be wild.

And then, another idea comes to him, and he has to ask, suddenly terrified of the answer:

“Wait… do we have to find a date, or can we go alone?”

“Oh no, no, it’s not that kind of ball!” reassures Jisung, and Hyunjin feels himself relax. “It’s something really simple, don’t worry. Just… Food and music and maybe nice clothes… We even managed to bring a band! Well, they’re ex-students playing music. But their music is still great.”

He smiles at him, and Hyunjin gets the feeling that Jisung is like him, not really fond of anything involving social interactions. But he also looks kind of proud, like being out of his comfort zone brings him strength.

“Sounds great. I like music.”

“What kind of music?” pipes Eric.

“Oh, uh, anything, really. I’m not picky.”

“I like everything too!” exclaims Felix. “But I still have a preference for soft music with deep lyrics, because it’s relaxing and comforting. What about you, Seungmin?”

Seungmin still hasn’t said a word, apparently too busy staring at Felix’s freckles. When everyone stops talking, waiting for his answer, he seems to finally realize he’s been staring, and his cheeks get significantly redder. 

“I’m more into rock and pop,” he confesses, stumbling on his words. “But I like soft music too. In fact, I’d love to listen to more soft music. Do you have recommendations, maybe?”

Hyunjin is impressed by his friend’s sudden burst of confidence, but after all it’s finally time he makes a move. He exchanges a glance with Chan, who seems surprised as well. Seungmin isn’t exactly shy, but around Felix he seems to have trouble articulating coherent sentences. Which of course is a source of teasing material for both of them.

“Of course! Let me give you my Spotify account and I’ll make a playlist just for you.”

Now Hyunjin is kind of sad he isn’t the one with a crush on Felix. Seriously, a whole playlist? And they aren’t dating yet? What exactly are they waiting for? Making a playlist for someone is the most romantic act ever in Hyunjin’s opinion.

Apparently, he isn’t the only one thinking it, because Eric starts whining right after Felix’s offer:

“Aww, this is so romantic! Why don’t I have someone to make me playlists too! I need a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. Both are okay.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” protests Felix before laughing gently. “He just asked for recommendations, so I’m gonna give him some, that’s all. I’m sure Seungminnie has a lot of people wanting to date him and he’s not interested in me, aha. Making a playlist doesn’t have anything to do with romantic feelings.”

The boy is either totally oblivious, really dumb or a very good actor, and Hyunjin resists the urge to facepalm. But it isn’t his business, so he lets Eric and Felix argue over what’s romantic and what’s not and focuses on his soda. Chan and Seungmin joins the discussion as well, and now there’s only Jisung and him staying quiet. He doesn’t mind, he likes listening.

At one point, he lets his eyes wander on the tables next to them. That’s when he spots him. The boy from the library. He’s positive it’s him, even if he only sees his side profile. He tried to find him these past weeks in the hallways or the Great Hall, to no avail. He was almost starting to believe their meeting truly was a dream.

But he’s here, talking with some other Ravenclaw with Greek-god features and a charming smirk on his lips. He’s insanely pretty, but what catches Hyunjin’s eyes is the blue and bronze robe the other boy is wearing. He recognizes Quidditch robes immediately, because he has the same in his room, except his is silver and green. _He’s part of the Quidditch team? How come I’ve never seen him before?_

Being muggle-born, Hyunjin had a lot to discover the first time he came to Hogwarts, and he was passionate about absolutely everything, even the most common things that every other student was unfazed about. It was just so magical, so different from what he was used to. He was amazed by the moving stairs, the talking paintings, the wands, the broomsticks, the magical creatures. But for others, who had grown up with these, it was just as normal to them as computer or buses were for Hyunjin.

There was only one thing they all agreed on was awesome: Quidditch. A sport Hyunjin had never heard of before because it was specific to wizards. But for once, his fascination was shared with almost everyone else, because everyone loved Quidditch. For once, he wasn’t the muggle-born kid who marvelled at the most boring things, he felt that his amazement was right.

He attended the Quidditch team selection as soon as he could and was chosen as Slytherin’s seeker. He was quite good on a broom, and he enjoyed the feeling of liberty it gave him to fly in the sky. It also mattered a lot to him, because it meant that finally, people would see him as something else than the pretty muggle born. He was hoping they would direct their fascination towards him, that they would stop seeing him as less good because he wasn’t from a pure-blood family.

He’s played every year since then, and took part in countless games, but he is certain he’s never seen the library boy in the Ravenclaw team. Maybe he’s new. He wonders what’s his position. He’s built like a Seeker, slender and thin, but that doesn’t mean anything. Hyunjin has seen people with more muscles than that being Seekers.

He doesn’t know if he could go talk to him, or if that’d be weird. After all, they’re not even officially acquainted. He doesn’t know his name. He doesn’t know why he’s drawn to him that way. He’d like to be his friend, he guesses.

“What are you looking at?” asks Chan suddenly, getting closer to him in order to see what Hyunjin sees. “Ooh, is that Lee Minho?”

At the mention of the name, Jisung, who’s kept quiet until then, lets out a strangled noise and grabs Felix’s shirt with a look of total panic on his face. Felix turns to see what causes him to be suddenly _this_ stressed, and seconds later they’re all staring at the two Ravenclaws.

Of course, it’s only a matter of time before they notice them. Six people all looking with wide eyes doesn’t go unnoticed. They seem confused at first, but then the oldest (or the one who seem older) stands up and comes closer, followed closely by Hyunjin’s mysterious boy.

“Hi, Chan! It’s been a while!”

Lee Minho, since it’s apparently his name, is even more stunning close up. His eyes are sparkling with mischief, and there’s nothing in in face that isn’t absolutely perfect, from the curve of his lips to the bridge of his nose by way of the little mole on his nostril. He radiates confidence, walking in the room like he owns it, and Hyunjin would kill to have only a tenth of his self-assurance.

He leans over the table, and Jisung backs away as if he’s been burnt. In a way, Hyunjin can understand him. Minho gives off an electrifying vibe and sitting so close to him is nerve-racking. Behind him, Cute Boy from the library catches Hyunjin’s eyes and smile at him, but he doesn’t know if he actually recognized him or if he’s just being friendly.

“I know, right? I feel like I haven’t seen you in years! When was the last time we had classes together? Divination in fourth year, I believe?”

“I think so. To be honest, I couldn’t remember what I have eaten this morning, so don’t ask me about anything before ten minutes ago.”

They all laugh, except for Jisung who still looks terrified for some reason. Minho is impressive, but he actually sounds nice, so why is he acting this way?

“Minho and I were often paired together in class, so we became friends,” explains Chan to the others, who nod in acknowledgment.

“It feels good to see you again. How have you been?”

“I was in Australia for two years and I came back last August. It was pretty great being home for some time, but I’m happy to be here again. I missed my friends.”

“Aww, we missed you too so much,” says Seungmin with a deadpan expression, which makes everyone laugh again.

“Who’s your friend?” asks Chan, ignoring Seungmin’s teasing and pointing to Cute Boy.

Minho doesn’t have the time to answer before he introduces himself:

“Hi, I’m Jeongin.”

“Hi Jeongin! This is Felix, Eric, Jisung, Seungmin and Hyunjin.”

He points to every one of them when he says their name, like a proud father, even if he met half of their little group barely an hour ago.

“We’ve met before,” confesses the boy – Jeongin – before waving shyly in Hyunjin’s direction.

So he does remember. Good to know. At least now they know each other’s names.

“Really?” chimes in Seungmin, looking at Hyunjin with his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, long story short, I forgot my scarf and he told me he gave it to the librarian. That’s it.”

“Oh.”

He seems disappointed, like he’d been expecting them to date in secret or something. He should know by now that Hyunjin overshares everything as a coping mechanism and that there’s no way he wouldn’t have heard of it if something had happened. Hell, he even tells him whenever he receives a comment on one of his dance covers, so of course he’d tell him if he had an actual date.

Which is not going to happen soon, since Hyunjin can’t seem to crush on someone except when he knows them pretty well already, and it’s been ages since he got close to anyone beside Seungmin and Chan. His friends know he’s demi-romantic, but sometimes they seem to have trouble understanding the concept, as they always ask the most stupid questions to him about it. But Hyunjin doesn’t care, he’s fine with who he is. And he understands that for someone who doesn’t experience the same thing, it can seem hard to fathom. He himself finds it hard to understand the concept of crushing on someone you don’t know anything about.

“I’m glad to meet you all,” declares Minho, interrupting his thoughts, and his eyes linger a bit on Jisung. “Even if I already know this one.”

“You mean I’m not the only one who got to be your friend on this table? I’m wounded, man,” whines Chan dramatically.

“We’re in the event-planning committee together, that’s all,” mumbles Jisung, still not meeting Minho’s eyes.

“That’s all? I thought we were close, Jisungie!”

“Ah, it’s the thing where you’re preparing for the top-secret ball.”

“The _what?_ ”

Jeongin has his soft brown eyes wide open now and is staring at Eric, who covers his mouth quickly.

“Ooops….”

“There’s going to be a ball? When? Where?”

“Jisung, you told them?”

“They’re my friends! I can’t keep anything from them!” protests the poor boy, blushing madly because of Minho’s accusation.

Hyunjin is starting to see what’s going on here. He has enough experience with Chan crushing on everyone he meets to recognize a person in love when he sees one. And Jisung’s got it bad.

“Surprise, Innie, there’s going to be a ball in a few weeks. And don’t ask me questions about it, you already know too much.”

“But I don’t know _anything!_ How could you keep something like this from me?”

“We weren’t supposed to tell anyone!”

“Jisung told his friends!”

“Well, I had the intention of respecting the rules for once, even if obviously it wasn’t Jisung’s case.”

Minho’s words are harsh, but the small smile tugging at his lips shows that he’s not really annoyed. He’s just teasing him to get a reaction, realizes Hyunjin. And judging by Jisung’s face, he’s going to get one really soon.

“First of all, we weren’t technically required to keep it a secret, it was just highly recommended. And should I remind you that last time, _you_ were the reason we had to change plans at the last minute, because you had gone babbling about the location of McGonagall’s birthday party?”

Minho doesn’t answer, only smirks proudly like he got what he wanted. Jisung slowly realizes he fell for it and pouts, causing Minho to laugh loudly before ruffling his hair.

“We’re starting to get cramped in here, don’t you think?” asks suddenly Felix, perfectly at ease like he’s with long-time friends instead of a bunch of weird strangers. “Maybe we could continue this conversation elsewhere?”

“Agreed,” decides Seungmin. “Minho, Jeongin, you wanna join us? We’d planned on going back to the castle and settle in our common room. Well, at least that’s what we intended on doing before meeting those three here.”

“I’m down for it,” says Eric. “It’s not like we have anything better to do anyway.”

“Count us in as well,” cheers Minho, high-fiving Felix.

The least that can be said is that the afternoon is taking an unexpected turn. Hyunjin would’ve never guessed this morning that he’d end up in the Gryffindor common room, surrounded by four boys he’d never talked to before today. But if he’s usually not fond of unplanned things and anything involving socializing, he must admit it’s not that awful. Minho, Felix, Eric and Jisung are actually really funny together, and he finds himself laughing uncontrollably pretty often. It’s surprisingly easy to talk to them, as if they’d known each other’s for years. They share a lot of common interests and the conversation flows easily.

The Gryffindor common room is almost empty, which means they can talk loudly without anyone complaining. At this hour, the students are mostly still at Hogsmeade, enjoying their last trip before being drowned under exams.

Hyunjin’s been in Gryffindor’s tower already, to prepare presentations or simply to hang out with Chan and his friends (he has a lot of them). The atmosphere is nice and warm, with red velvet armchairs and a chimney where a fire is burning quietly. There’s a bookshelf on the right side of the room, and he notices Jeongin throwing sideway glances at it.

He hasn’t talked to him since they left the pub, but right now the others are busy debating over whether cats or dogs are better (dogs, obviously, but Minho is a fervent defender of cat’s rights) and Jeongin seems a bit out of it. Hyunjin moves before he can think too much about it and sits next to him on the couch.

“Hi,” he says, because it seems like a great start.

“Hi!” answers immediately Jeongin, turning to face him.

“I see you’re ogling that poor bookshelf. Don’t you have one in Ravenclaw’s common room? I’ve never been in there.”

He cringes at himself for saying something so basic, but Jeongin doesn’t seem to care. If anything, he looks glad Hyunjin started the conversation.

“Of course, we have one! And we also have the prettiest common room. The ceiling is magical, and you can see the constellations in real time like if you were outside,” brags the youngest.

This definitely gets Hyunjin’s attention. Since the essay in Astronomy he turned down two weeks earlier, he’s been more interested than ever in what the night sky has to offer. It fascinates him, all these stars in which people saw animals and objects.

“Really? It must be so pretty. Especially in winter, when it’s too cold to go outside to stargaze.”

“The only downside is you easily get lost in it, and you forget to do your homework.”

“Seems like you’re speaking from experience.”

“I stopped keeping track of all the times I stayed up late to finish an assignment and ended up falling asleep while looking at it… I just get caught up in it, you know? It’s just so captivating I can’t take my eyes off it.”

He sounds so excited and genuine Hyunjin can’t help but smile. There’s something so earnest in the vibe he gives off, so pure, he’s like a little kid speaking about something he just discovered. But at the same time, he has this clear-cut voice showing he’s probably the same age as Hyunjin or not much younger.

It’s strange that Hyunjin feels so at ease talking to him. It happens sometimes, when he meets people so similar to him that he takes a liking to them immediately, and he doesn’t have to think of everything he has to say before he says it. When he’s with someone who has no problem being comfortable with strangers, a bit of their confidence rubs off on him and he can relax and be himself.

It’s what’s happening with Jeongin. He sees immediately that the boy is the kind of person he would love to be friends with, and Jeongin’s really nice to him, like he genuinely wants to talk, so it’s easy to stop worrying about sounding cool and just go with the flow.

It was like that the first time he met Seungmin, too. They were seated next to the other in Charms, and they started talking naturally, seeing immediately that they got along with ease. It allowed Hyunjin to comes a bit out of his shell.

“Oh, there’s something I always wanted to know about the Ravenclaw tower. Do you really have to solve a riddle before entering?”

Jeongin chuckles, like Hyunjin’s question is something he expected.

“Yeah, we do.”

“Isn’t it annoying sometimes?”

“You have _no idea._ One day I was really tired, bad day, you know what it is, and I just wanted to go to bed and watch some Youtube videos while eating crisps, but I couldn’t enter because the question was _What room can you eat,_ and I couldn’t for the life of me guess what the answer was. So I stayed an hour trying to find how to get in, hungry and sad and tired, before someone can to save me and you know what the word was?”

“No?”

“Mushroom. So yeah, I hate my house sometimes.”

Hyunjin can’t help it : he’s laughing loudly now, throwing his head back and clapping, because the way Jeongin said it, with such a serious face, is the most funniest thing ever.

This gets the other’s attention, and they’re all turning to them now, clearly wondering what’s so funny. Jeongin quickly explains the story again, and Hyunjin is still giggling by the time he’s finished.

“I swear it makes me go crazy,” sighs Minho. “I may be clever enough to enter Ravenclaw, but I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Remember the day when the question was _what gets broken before being held?_ ”

“Thankfully Yeji came not long after and fount it immediately, because I swear, I would’ve knocked the door off.”

“Your life seems so hard,” says Seungmin ironically. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to be you.”

“Imagine having to actually _think_ when you just want to lie in your bed and forget about your existence for twelve hours straight.”

“That’s what it’s like when I go to class every morning though?”

“…Whatever!”

“Aww, I’m so glad you’re getting along! You’re already at the bickering stage.” Chan is looking at them proudly, like he’s an actual dad watching his children having fun.

“I’m not sure this is anything to go by, because Minho bickers with literally everyone,” warns Jeongin. “It’s also his way of flirting with people, so you never know if he has a crush on you or if you’re just a friend he likes teasing.”

“Good to know. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Innie, why are you exposing me like that?!”

“I like it, it’s fun.”

“At least I actually flirt with people instead of watching them from afar and waiting for them to notice my existence.”

Jeongin is becoming really red now, and he elbows Minho in the stomach, making the oldest whine in pain. Hyunjin wonders if they always hit each other like that, and if so, he’s not sure he wants to become their friend.

The thought surprises him. He just met them, and he’s already thinking of more. He can actually see himself with them in the future. They’re funny and interesting and he’d like to be friends with them. That’s as simple as that.

There are people sometimes, just in the way they are, that makes you think you’d get along with them, and you’re drawn to them without really knowing why. Just like a romantic crush, but friend version.

It’s a funny coincidence Hyunjin and Jeongin talked two weeks ago, when they could’ve never met before today. Thinking about it, it’s strange that they never met before, considering Minho and Chan know each other, and Felix and Seungmin are friends.

After that, they spend one more hour together, talking about everything and anything, until Minho says he has to finish some essay in History of Magic and leaves. Hyunjin is still seated next to Jeongin, and they manage to talk about books for the entirety of their time together without getting bored.

Turns out Jeongin is much more of a bookworm than Hyunjin, which isn’t surprising considering he’s in Ravenclaw and it’s basically a requirement. He has read a terrifying amount of book in eleven months, and Hyunjin feels like he really needs to step up his reading game, if that’s a thing. He doesn’t know why but talking with Jeongin really motivates him to read more, like there’s an unofficial competition going on between them. He guesses it’s a good thing, since recently he didn’t devote enough time to read and he misses it a bit.

“I can lend it to you, if you want.” He’s talking about what he claims is his favourite book ever after _The little prince,_ a story about loss and love and family as he described it just moments before. “The writing is really magical, with compelling stories, and I can’t really describe it better than that, you just have to read it.”

“Okay, I’ll give it a try.” Hyunjin smiles. Jeongin, it seems, is passionate about a lot of things, and he also has various taste in books. Hyunjin himself doesn’t have a type, he’d read anything that interests him, whether it is an art book about a famous painter or a contemporary novel on self-discovery. Although he must admit he has a preference for love stories, which can seem strange coming from someone who isn’t that interested in the concept of romance in real life.

It’s like, romance in books and movies is something he likes to see, but in reality, he has trouble wrapping his mind around the idea. As in, _what does everyone act like romance is the best thing that could happen to someone, while friends are right here? Why is dating someone portrayed as the epitome of a successful life, when it should just be a casual thing that shouldn’t be forced into anyone?_ He’s not against dating – plus, he has felt romantic attraction before – but he feels there’s too much pressure for people to find love when really, it isn’t that big of a deal, and there’s plenty of other ways to feel complete.

“Do you want me to bring it to you tomorrow? I can give it to you at breakfast.”

“That would be so nice, thank you. I’m not sure I’ll have the time to read it anytime soon considering the ungodly amount of work we’re going to have, but I’ll do my best.”

“I don’t mind if you keep it longer, I’ve read it five times already, I can live without it for a few months!” he assures a bit too loudly, and Seungmin eyes them suspiciously.

Hyunjin can almost see the gears whirring in his brain, and he knows what’s going to happen next. Thankfully, he only nods in Hyunjin’s direction, as if to say, “we’ll discuss it later.” Maybe if he’s lucky, he’ll forget about it.

But later, when they’ve said goodbye to each other and the three Slytherins are back in their room, Seungmin sits next to him on his bed and Hyunjin knows he’s gonna have to go through The Talk.

“Soooo, you and Jeongin?”

He lets out a groan. Seungmin is too predictable. Every time Hyunjin speaks for more than five minutes with someone who isn’t him or Chan, he sees it as a sign that they’re going to start dating.

“Am I not allowed to have friends?” sighs Hyunjin.

“I don’t know, you just seemed really on the same page. It’s not often I see you that invested in someone you just met.”

“Yeah, because he’s _nice._ ”

“So are Jisung, Eric and Minho, but I didn’t see you talking to them all afternoon.”

“What do you want me to say? Jeongin and I are hitting in off, that doesn’t mean I’m romantically interested in him. I’d just like to be friends with him because we have a lot in common.”

“Remember the deal we made last time?” He’s smiling dangerously now, and Hyunjin doesn’t like that. “About me asking Felix out and you hanging out with the next person who showed interest in you?”

“I believe my exact terms were “hanging out with the next person who confess to me.”

“Whatever, I decided to change the deal. You hang out with Jeongin, and I ask Felix on a date.”

Hyunjin can’t believe what he just heard. After all these weeks trying to get Seungmin to confess, and it would be as easy as this? Because he didn’t specify anything about dating Jeongin, just hanging out with him as friends like they did this afternoon. There aren’t any drawbacks to that.

“Wait… You’re really going to ask him out? Finally?”

“Who’s going to ask who out?” interrupts Chan suddenly, still dripping from the shower he just took. “Sounds like I missed something.”

“Seungmin decided to ask Felix out,” claims Hyunjin, a smirk on his lips now that his friend is slightly blushing.

“If Hyunjin hangs out with Jeongin!” he protests.

“Oh. Well that’s good news, isn’t it? Aren’t we waiting for Seungmin to get a boyfriend since he first talked about Lix?”

“You’re already calling each other surnames?”

“We discovered we’re both from Australia! He’s the cutest person ever. Plus, he calls me Channie so we’re even.”

“ _Humpf.”_

“Oooh, is someone jealous?” Chan teases, poking Seungmin’s cheek.

“I’m not, because soon he’s going to be my boyfriend and you’ll be single, losers.”

“Actually, dating someone isn’t representative of a person’s worth so we’ll still be the amazing people we are right now, thank you very much.”

“When did you become so annoying?” groans Seungmin before lying on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Hyunjin resists only five seconds before giving up and lying beside him, throwing his arm around his waist to bring him closer.

“I’m just being realistic!”

“We’ll see about that when you’ll be all lovey-dovey with someone.”

“Yeah, not going to happen.”

“Hwang Hyunjin, I know you, and you express your feelings by physical affection. We’re literally cuddling right now.”

He’s right, so Hyunjin shuts up and bury his head in Seungmin’s neck, because it’s a nice position. He thinks about the new deal they just made. If it allows Seungmin to date the love of his life, he’s ready to hang out with Jeongin more – it’s not like he’ll have a bad time. In fact, he would’ve done it without Seungmin’s proposition.

So, everything’s fine for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! ehe kudos and comments are always appreciated <33
> 
> i also have a kofi page uwu https://ko-fi.com/pilotsirens


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter I offer you danceracha shenanigans while trying to study, seunglix, and cute hyunin bonding moments (+ jeongin being an amazing friend)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't believe it's been a month since I last updated... oops?
> 
> hope you enjoy <3
> 
> also they have phones at hogwarts okay pretend it’s normal

“Why did we take Divination as an elective course again?”

“I don’t know, but I regret it every day of my life,” groans Felix, taking his head into his hands before sighing loudly.

“If we look at the bright side, we don’t have to study it as much as other classes because it’s mostly a matter of chance,” adds Minho cheerfully in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Unfortunately, his remark is met with two pairs of dubious eyes, belonging respectively to Felix and Hyunjin, and he drops his smile quickly.

“Okay, you win,” he says before hitting his head on the table. “Divination is hell and I’d rather hear Jeongin complain about the Quidditch team captain than spend ten more minutes trying to remember these freaking tea leaves patterns. I can see why a skull would mean danger, but who on Earth decided that a castle stood for regrets and the need for an introspection?”

“What’s the problem with the Quidditch team captain?” frowns Hyunjin.

“Apparently she’s really bossy and strict, and she’s always on Jeongin’s case because he’s the newest addition to the team and the youngest. She snaps at him for the tiniest mistakes, and every time he comes back from Quidditch training I hear about her for at least an hour before he calms down.”

Hyunjin hums, thoughtful. He doesn’t know who’s the Ravenclaw team captain, but she doesn’t seem understanding. When he first entered the Slytherin team, everyone was really nice to him, and it helped him feel at ease immediately and do his best without holding back. Having to put up with constant criticism often results in more mistakes than improvement in Hyunjin’s opinion. At least for him, negative remarks lead him to withdraw on himself instead of fueling his combativity. But he knows it’s not the case for everyone: Chan instead uses bad critics to push himself forward and do even better.

“My point is, it’s really annoying, and yet it seems preferable to what we’re doing now,” concludes Minho.

“I don’t see what you’re talking about,” says Felix ironically. “I’m having the time of my life. Haven’t you always dreamt of knowing how to interpret tea dregs?”

“Oh yeah, it’s definitely why I chose Divination as an option, and totally not because it seemed the easiest compared to Ancient runes or Arithmancy and therefore I thought I would have more free time. I didn’t know I’d have to memorize a whole book about how dreaming about a bathroom means you’re ready to make changes about yourself.”

“I mean, it can be useful sometimes?” tries Hyunjin, but even himself is not convinced.

Originally, he chose Divination because he felt so insecure about his future, he thought it would be easier to at least get a glimpse of what it would be like. And honestly, it just seemed cool, knowing how to decipher symbols, reading tarots cards and interpreting dreams and prophecies. But in practice, it was a lot less fun than what the description made it look like. On top of that, Chan and Seungmin weren’t doing the same elective class as him, and therefore he found himself sitting alone twice a week in a corner of the Divination room, which meant he got paired with the teacher every time they had to work with others. Saying he regretted his life choices was a euphemism.

But since their encounter at the pub two weeks ago, he discovered by speaking with Felix and Minho that they were both taking Divination as an option, so they decided to study together for the upcoming exam. Slytherins were sharing this class with Hufflepuffs, so it explained why they had never seen each other before. But even Minho and Felix had never interacted with each other before, though they were taking the class together.

With no surprise, they weren’t were thrilled about the course, and Hyunjin was delighted to finally have someone to complain to that would actually understand his pain.

All in all, they get along really well. Not only the three of them, but Jisung, Eric, Jeongin, Chan and Seungmin as well. After their afternoon together at the end of November, they hung out a couple of times more, at Hogsmeade or in one of their common rooms, and Hyunjin is starting to seriously appreciate them. He’s no longer shy around them, and he’s very proud of himself for being comfortable enough to create new friendships.

Minho and Jeongin often joins the three Slytherins in their free time, and sometimes Felix, Jisung and Eric come as well, for Seungmin’s pleasure. He gets to see his crush even more now that Chan and Hyunjin are starting to be friends with him, too.

Hyunjin even has the impression that since they study together, he sees the freckled boy more often than Seungmin does. Of course, he has to do a detailed report of every one of their interactions at the end of the day, especially if he mentions the Slytherin. Until now, he hasn’t managed to find out if he’s actually attracted by boys, but he’s trying for the sake of his friend.

“Okay, let’s practice,” decides Felix suddenly, closing his book and grabbing the cup of tea in front of him. “I’m drinking this, and Hyunjin will try to read the tea dregs when I’m done.”

“Why me and not Minho?” groans Hyunjin, but he closes his book as well to avoid cheating while the Ravenclaw smirks.

“Because you already know I’m acing this.”

“Sure, that’s why last year you failed miserably,” mocks Felix, earning a playful punch in his stomach. Hyunjin giggles.

“Silence, please!” orders dryly the librarian behind her counter, and the three boys look at each other, their hands over their mouth to contain their laughter.

“Maybe the library wasn’t the best choice to study,” whispers Felix.

It’s calm, but it’s true that maybe choosing an empty classroom would’ve been a safer option considering they can’t spend two seconds without talking to each other.

“I needed a copy of _Unfogging the future_ , because I dropped mine in the lake,” reminds Minho. “I wasn’t going to repay it when there’s a free one here that no one ever borrows.”

“How did you even manage to drop yours in the lake?”

“Long story. It involves Jisung, a racoon and Pumpkin Pasties.”

“Seems like you spend a lot of time with Jisung.” Felix wiggles his eyebrows while Minho blushes the slightest.

“We’re in a committee together, and we’re friends.”

“Oh yeah sure.”

“Anyway, weren’t you about to drink your tea so we can study like we’re supposed to do in the first place?”

“You’re not getting away like that, Lee Minho!” It’s obvious that there’s more to the story than he lets on, but Hyunjin doesn’t feel close enough to him to pry. Luckily, Felix doesn’t insist, and drinks the beverage before passing the cup to Hyunjin.

He squints, trying to make out a shape in the mess of black tea leaves at the bottom. He’s never been really good at this, and it doesn’t help that he’s stressing over his exam tomorrow. Their teacher warned them at the beginning of third year that if they didn’t have the Sight, there was little she could do to help them. Apparently, Hyunjin didn’t have it, and just had a ton of luck when it came to guess, allowing him to get decent grades in this subject even though he felt totally lost most of the time.

“This looks like… A teddy bear?” he says, unsure. “Hm… You’re going to receive comfort?”

Felix looks doubtful, but he nods anyway, encouraging him to go on.

“And this here looks like a heart… You’re going to find comfort through love,” asserts Hyunjin with more confidence, because he just got an idea to get the Gryffindor to talk about his possible love interests. Now he just has to be subtle about it, and Seungmin will thank him later. “You’re going to find someone, and she’ll bring you comfort. Or he.”

 _So much for being subtle,_ he thinks, but luckily Felix doesn’t seem to find him weird, and doesn’t correct him. Instead, he chuckles a bit.

“Okay, well I’d like them to find me quickly, because exam week starts tomorrow and I’m gonna need a lot of comfort after failing every test I take.”

He says it like it’s nothing, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. Hyunjin doesn’t know him enough to know how he deals with stress during these kinds of periods, but it’s clear that he’s hiding something by looking indifferent.

“You’re not going to _fail,_ ” says Minho, but it doesn’t come out as irritated, with rolling eyes and everything, but instead as soft and strangely reassuring. Like it’s obvious. Like he’s deeply convinced Felix is going to succeed, and he’s not saying it just so he feels better. “We know you work hard. You can be proud of yourself for that.”

“I don’t know. I feel like I’m not doing enough. You worked more than me at every one of our study sessions.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. Some of us memorize things quickly and don’t need a lot of time to understand a lesson, while others will have to spend hours on the exact same thing to finally be able to master it. Our brains have different ways to process information, so being quicker to learn doesn’t mean you deserve any less praise than those who take time. Look at Jisung: he’s literally a genius, he writes essays in no time, can remember a lesson after reading it only once, but does that mean he’s not doing enough? No! He’s lucky, but it’s the way he is, and it’s not a matter of who worked the most. Sure, it can be infuriating to realize your friends can do whatever they want instead of studying because they don’t need as much time as you, but we shouldn’t hold them accountable for that. You don’t need to spend hours on an assignment? It’s great! You aren’t less hardworking than others for that.”

For a few seconds, Felix looks taken aback, but then he smiles widely and Hyunjin swears he can feel the temperature of the room rising. His eyes form little crescents and combined with his freckles, he might be the cutest being alive.

“Thank you, Minho. That was good to hear.”

“No problem! I hate seeing my friends sad. Now let’s get back to work, shall we?”

They spend thirty more minutes practicing their tea leaves reading skills before Minho calls for a break. As they let the library behind them to go to the kitchens to see if they can pilfer something to eat, Hyunjin realizes how efficient their little study session has been. He almost feels confident about their exam tomorrow, and that’s not a feeling he’s used to. He isn’t ordinary prone to stress himself over a lot of things, but these exams are really important, and he always wants to give the best of himself. He admits he was a bit anxious this morning but being with Minho and Felix helped him relax.

“We should do this more often.” It escapes his lips before he can really think of it but when he sees the others’ wide smile, he doesn’t regret it.

“We really should! It’s funnier to work as a group than alone.”

“And we make a good team.”

They’re almost to the kitchens when they see a familiar figure walking towards them.

“Innie!” exclaims Minho, before rushing to hug the youngest boy.

Surprised at first, he opens wide eyes and staggers under Minho’s weight thrown onto him, but then he regains his balance and smiles before hugging him back. Hyunjin and Felix joins them quickly, happy to see their friend.

As always, Hyunjin notice how pretty and cute he is. His hair is messy and he’s holding his scarf in one hand instead of wearing it like he’s in a rush, but his face is illuminated by a large grin and Hyunjin has to resist the urge to hug him as well. He doesn’t know him that well, and he’s not sure he would appreciate it.

“What are you doing here?” Minho and Jeongin asks at the exact same time, before laughing.

“We really share a braincell,” adds the oldest Ravenclaw. “But weren’t you supposed to be with Jisu today?”

“She caught a cold, so we cancelled because she wants to rest before tomorrow. I figured I would go to the library and borrow a new book since I finished this one.”

He holds up his right hand, and Hyunjin’s heart flutters. He hadn’t noticed but wrapped in his scarf there’s a book that Hyunjin knows really well.

It’s the one he recommended to him two weeks ago, when they were huddled in the Gryffindor common room, getting to know each other. It’s one of Hyunjin’s favorite. He didn’t think he would read it this quickly after he mentioned it, but the fact that he actually did makes him feel something. He’s used to talking about books without much people being interested. His family doesn’t really read, and Chan and Seungmin have other hobbies. So talking and knowing that someone actually listens to what you have to say is pleasant.

“Oh!” is all he manages to say. “You read it.”

“Of course I did. You were very convincing.”

“And… Did you like it?”

“Did I like it? I seriously considered using _Oblivio_ on myself to wipe out my memory so I can read it again. Seriously, this book awoke a dimension in me I didn’t know existed. The relationships, the character development, the world building, I feel like I can write an essay on it. Also it broke my heart. I was _not_ expecting the main character to die after all she’d been through. I guess it makes the story even more memorable.”

Through his whole monologue Felix and Minho were looking at him with wide eyes, while Hyunjin was nodding excitedly.

“I know right! The tension builds up throughout the whole book and when we think it’s finally over, there’s this ultimate plot twist no one expected.”

“I’ve read so much books it’s rare finding one where I can’t guess what’s going to happen. Thank you for this, I had a really good time!”

“Do you want us to leave or something?” pipes Minho, smirking. “You two seem like you don’t need us anymore.”

“Stop saying dumb things. I’ll always need you,” chuckles Jeongin before patting his head. “Anyway, I finished it and I need to find a new book to focus on quickly otherwise I might be tempted to read this one again right now. And Minho’s going to kill me if he hears me cry again at 3 in the morning.”

“I asked if I had to fight someone but turns out it was just because some book character died.”

Jeongin and Hyunjin gasp in unison.

“You have no idea how heartbreaking a book can be,” warns Hyunjin.

“Yeah, it’s horrible.”

“If you say so. I’m hungry, so I’m gonna leave you two to discuss your books and go with Felix find something to eat, okay?”

The two in question exchange a look before shrugging.

*

Half an hour later, they’re in Hyunjin’s room, sitting on his bed and discussing the book more in depth.

Originally, they had planned on going to the library or Slytherin’s common room, but Hyunjin figured they would be more comfortable upstairs in his bedroom. He must admit it’s quite strange having a boy other than Chan or Seungmin in here, but thankfully it’s not awkward or anything. It’ll just look bad if any of his roommates come back and find them together. He’ll have a hard time explaining to Seungmin that no, nothing is going on between them.

After eating together, Minho and Felix decided they’d go back to their rooms, so there was just the two of them left. And Hyunjin wasn’t against the idea of spending a bit of time with Jeongin. He loved Minho and Felix, but there was something about Jeongin that he couldn’t quite name that was special. He was drawn to him in a way he’d never felt before. Maybe because they shared a lot of interests, or because the youngest managed to make Hyunjin at ease. He didn’t know, but he was glad to see this new relationship blossom.

“I’m sorry, there isn’t anything special about my room,” says Hyunjin before wrinkling his nose, noticing the clothes he and Seungmin had thrown away carelessly, no expecting someone to visit them. “And it’s a bit of a mess.”

“Trust me, once you’ve seen my room, nothing can be called a mess. Minho keeps telling me to do something about it.”

“Really? I would’ve seen you more as the tidy type and him as the messy one.”

“Nah, he puts his clothes in little bundles and then pile them up. It’s kind of cute, actually.”

Hyunjin was about to say he couldn’t imagine Minho doing this, but he remembered how his first impression of him had been wrong. Minho seemed cold and distant at first, but in fact he was the sweetest person ever.

“I would like to see it,” he settles to say instead, because it’s true.

Jeongin hums and sits on Hyunjin’s bed, visibly done with looking around. It’s no surprise: when he said there was nothing special about his room, he meant it. The room Hyunjin, Chan and Seungmin share is the same as all the rooms provided by Hogwarts for students. Three beds, a desk, three wardrobes and that was it. They didn’t even decorate it the slightest, except for Chan’s little sticky notes that he puts everywhere which bring a touch of color. He writes mostly his homework on them but sometimes it’s quotes from songs that inspire him. The closest to Hyunjin’s bed says, _“Even a dark shadow needs light to exist.”_

They’re not in their room often, so they never really felt the need to make it look more personal. Their clothes, books and other objects scattered around already bring a very convincing lived-in vibe. Besides, the walls are mainly occupied by a giant window overlooking the courtyard. Slytherin’s common room may be underground but they put the dorms in the tower, thinking that it was better to have windows to light up the rooms instead of relying on candles every time.

“Oh, you sleep with a plushie,” notices Jeongin, grabbing the white alpaca half hidden under Hyunjin’s pillow, and the Slytherin turns red.

He had forgotten about it. It’s not like he’s ashamed of sleeping with a stuffed animal at 18, but he’s not proud of it either.

“Aww, it’s so cute!” coos the youngest, hugging the plushie, and Hyunjin forgets whatever excuse he was going to give him. “I have a plush too! It’s a desert fox. Minho bought it for me last year, because he says I resemble one.”

Hyunjin tilts his head, studying his friend’s face, trying to determine if he sees it too. It’s true that he has long eyes and a wide smile that makes him think of a fox, for some reason.

“You’re like a cute little fox,” he concludes, giggling when Jeongin hits him playfully on the arm. He doesn’t like being babied, but it’s fun to tease him.

He plays a bit with the alpaca before putting it back where he found it and turning to Hyunjin, his face solemn all at once, which makes Hyunjin’s heart miss a beat. What’s happening?

“Now let’s talk seriously.”

Jeongin leans on, and Hyunjin suddenly fears that it’s going to be like with everyone else, that Jeongin just approached him because he found him pretty and he’s going to confess to him right now.

For a few crucifying seconds, their eyes lock up, and Hyunjin prepares himself to decline once more a love proposition, but he isn’t prepared for what comes out of Jeongin’s mouth.

“We should do something to help Felix and Seungmin get together,” he whispers, even though there’s no one in the room to hear him.

Hyunjin contains a relieved sigh. He hates having to listen to confessions, because it means he has to hurt the person by refusing. His friendship with Jeongin is too new, too precious for him to ruin it like that. He’s glad that they’re apparently on the same page, none of them feeling romantic attraction towards the other. It’s painful enough having to turn down perfect strangers’ confessions but it would be even worse with a friend. But thankfully it’s not about that.

“Wait… How did you notice?”

“I have functional eyes? They’re not very subtle is the least I can say. At first I even thought they were already dating. Ugh, I can’t stand the longing between them.”

“I’m trying to solve that. Seungmin was supposed to ask him out but he chickened out.”

“What is he afraid of? It’s clear that Felix wouldn’t say no.”

“We don’t know that for sure!”

“Oh, _come on_ , at this point I think everyone realized but him. And Seungmin, apparently. We have to make a plan.”

Jeongin’s lips stretch into a mischievous grin. Hyunjin is suddenly glad he is on his side and not one of the boys who are going to undergo his ideas. 

“We should send a message in the group chat saying we have to hang out, and then we mysteriously cancel just before the date, and they’ll be left alone.”

“That sound cliché.”

“Well, it must be cliché for a reason, don’t you think? And the reason is, it works every time.”

“They’ll suspect something right away. Seungmin is a demon. He’ll sense something is wrong and there’s no way he’s going to fall for it.”

Jeongin pouts, visibly disappointed by Hyunjin’s objections. But then his eyes light up and he gets up, excited.

“Oooor we could do something less suspicious, like meeting for breakfast and only running away once we’re all here. This way he won’t anticipate anything and it’s a win for us!”

“You are way too invested in this.”

Jeongin is beaming now.

“It’s because I like it when my friends are happy.”

It’s stupid, but Hyunjin feels his heart warm when he realizes Jeongin sees them as friends.

*

In the end, they don’t even have to carry out their complicated plan to get Seungmin and Felix alone together because they do it themselves. Well, almost only by themselves.

At the end of the first week of exams, Hyunjin, Chan and Seungmin are walking to their dorm, exhausted and eager to think about anything else but school, when they hear sobs coming from the bathrooms. At first, they think they imagined them, because when they stop to listen there’s no noise coming from there. But as they’re about to leave they hear a faint sniff, one that Seungmin recognizes instantly.

“Felix?” he calls, getting closer to the door.

There’s another sniff, and then the noise of someone rummaging through a bag before they hear him blowing his nose. When he opens the door, his eyes are red and puffy, there’s dried streaks of tears on his cheeks, and Hyunjin immediately feel the urge to hug him.

“Felix? What happened?” asks Chan, looking concerned.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” he assures, but it comes out weakly, and right after he breaks into tears again.

Seungmin immediately comes closer to hug him, rubbing his back and whispering something to him. Chan and Hyunjin exchange a look. It’s not that they aren’t worried about their friend, but it feels like it would be better to leave the two of them alone. They’re still hesitating when Seungmin turns slightly his head and nod at them, mouthing that he’s taking care of him.

They obey reluctantly, throwing a last glance towards their friends before going back to the Slytherin tower.

“I hope he’ll be okay,” sighs Chan, running a hand through his hair.

“Seungmin is with him,” reassures Hyunjin, even though he would’ve liked to stay to check on Felix. “They’ll be fine.”

“Do you think he failed his exams?” asks Chan, worry slipping through his voice. “He worked so hard for this, I hope it went well.”

“If he wants to tell us what’s wrong, he will. I just hope it’s nothing too serious.”

“Yeah…”

Hyunjin was already a bit down before the incident, but now he’s even more in a bad mood, knowing one of his friends is not okay. This week was exhausting, and he’s worn down. He did his best in his exams, but he doesn’t know if it will be enough, and now there’s nothing he can do except work even harder for next week.

“I can’t wait for this to be over,” he says once they’re in their room, lying on their respective beds. “I’m so tired, but I have to work for the Charm test on Monday.”

“Take a break, Hyunjinnie. You woke up early this morning to study and then we were taking tests all day. You deserve to rest a bit.”

Hyunjin shakes his head. If he takes a nap like he desperately wants to, he’ll fall behind on his schedule and he’ll have to work twice as hard to catch up tomorrow. He has no time to lose if he wants to do everything he’s planned. Chan looks at him with worry in his eyes, but he’s not one to speak: he almost never sleeps. So he drops the matter, and goes back to whatever he was doing.

An hour and half later, Seungmin comes back to the room, cheeks pink and a small smile on his lips. Chan and Hyunjin immediately notice that he’s acting weird, and not like someone who had to comfort a friend in tears.

“How was it with Felix?” asks Hyunjin, ignoring Chan’s frown directed at him, because he’s never been one for waiting and pretending. He’d rather ask directly what he wants to know instead of beating around the bush.

Seungmin gets significantly redder, and his efforts to hide it are in vain.

“Well… I may or may not have a boyfriend now.”

“You WHAT?”

Without being told twice, Chan and Hyunjin huddle with Seungmin on his bed, all their tiredness forgotten. It’s been so long since any of them had any interesting news to share regarding their romantic life, and Hyunjin is excited as if he was the one concerned. He’s so happy for his friends he can barely contain his joy, like his heart is about to explode. Seungmin has talked so much about Felix, it’s finally time something happens between them. They’re the cutest when they’re together.

“How did you go from crying to confessing to each other?” asks Chan, and Hyunjin must admit he’s curious about that, too. Seungmin takes a long inspiration.

“Okay, so when you guys left, I stayed with him in the bathroom until he calmed down. I was wondering what was wrong, but he wouldn’t answer me at first. I stayed with him and hugged him, and it was the first time I had the courage to do so, and I know I shouldn’t be happy because he was a total mess but I was thinking how much his hair smelled good and how warm it was to have him in my arms. Anyway, and then he stopped crying, and we sat on the floor and …”

“On the bathroom floor?” repeats Chan, making a face. “How romantic.”

Seungmin raises an eyebrow and Chan holds up his hands.

“He told me why he was crying, but I’m not sure I’m supposed to say it… We talked for some time, and then he told me that it was the first time he opened up to someone like this. That usually, he kept everything pent up inside him because he felt like he had to be a source of happiness for others, and he didn’t want to burden his friends with his problems.”

“Nooo it’s better to talk about it! Otherwise it eats you from inside and you end up being even more sad!” exclaims Chan.

“I know that! That’s what I told him. And then… He told me he’d never felt comfortable speaking about it with someone like he felt comfortable with me. And I told him it was the same for me, how talking to him brought me comfort. And he said… He said… Something along the lines of “you’re so reassuring and always manage to make me smile even when I’m feeling down. Your future girlfriend will be so lucky to have you.” And I was so shocked, and I said, “I don’t want a girlfriend.” He was surprised, and I was so emotional from the talk we just had that I thought, you know what? I’m gonna tell him. I said, “I want you.””

“You said WHAT?” chokes Chan.

“Seungmin!” stutters Hyunjin. “It’s not like you!”

“He was being so vulnerable, he’d opened up about his problems, and I was thinking how much I loved being with him, and I’ve been crushing on him for so long, I had to say it eventually… And my heart was beating so fast, my mind was racing, and at first, he didn’t answer and I was thinking it’s over, I ruined everything, he’ll hate you now. And then he kissed me.”

Hyunjin lets out a sound that resemble a mouse squeak. Chan has his eyes wide open, staring at Seungmin like he suddenly grew a third arm. And then they scream and cheer and hug him, because their friend is finally dating his crush, and they’re happy for him.

*

A week later, Hyunjin starts to feel weird.

It’s not directly related to Seungmin and Felix’s new relationship. At least, he doesn’t think so. He’s not a shitty friend, right? He can’t be in a weird mood because his best friend is dating the love of his life. He’s happy for him.

Exam week is finally over, and he should be celebrating. The ball is next Thursday, the whole school only talks about it, and yet he can’t seem to share their enthusiasm because there’s this annoying feeling tugging at his chest. He can’t put a name to it, but whenever he sees Felix and Seungmin together being gross and in love, it gets harder to smile and he feels like someone is clutching his heart.

He can’t help the thoughts that come with the feeling. _What if I never find my special someone? What if I’m not meant to fall in love? What if no one ever loves me for who I am?_

So maybe it is directly related to Seungmin and Felix’s relationship in the end.

It’s just… Strange, seeing his friend leaving at breakfast to go to the Gryffindor table. Having to cancel movie nights because he promised he would show Felix a new series he watched. Learning to be at the second place in general. Hyunjin is happy for his friend, but it’s not a genuine happiness. It’s tainted with fear and jealousy and guilt and longing. And he’s blaming himself for feeling this way because this is what Seungmin wanted. Why can’t he be truly happy instead of faking it?

Hyunjin is tired, and his head hurts after overthinking for most of the day. It’s one of those periods when you’re feeling down and nothing appears to be helpful. He tried listening to music, reading, talking with Chan, watching cute videos about dogs, but at the end of the day he’s still in a mood he can’t describe as other than “weird”. He tries to cheer himself up by remembering Christmas coming soon, his family he’s going to see, and the ball next week where he’s going to have a good time with his friends, but nothing works. He’s about to go to sleep, because at least for a few hours he doesn’t have to think about his pathetic life, when his phone buzzing interrupts him.

It’s Jeongin. Over the past weeks, the boys have talked almost every day, and Hyunjin is grateful for his bubbly presence around him. He’s so excited for the ball, he sent Hyunjin a dozen pictures of several outfits, saying he doesn’t know which one he should wear.

Hyunjin smiles. With Seungmin busy with Felix, and Chan who knows approximately half the school and therefore is often going out to meet other friends, Jeongin is the only steady presence in his life.

It’s amazing, how quickly they became friends. Some people are just meant to be, Hyunjin guesses. Being an introvert often prevents him from feeling at ease easily, but Jeongin fit into his life like he’s been here for ages.

He feels the sudden urge to see the boy. It’s ten pm and he suddenly feels very, very alone in his room, with nothing to do except waiting for his friends to come back. He texts Jeongin almost immediately, asking if they can meet. He’s not sure he’s going to agree, since it’s quite late and he knows the other goes to sleep before eleven.

**hyunjin**

hi, i know it’s late but would you be okay to meet like, right now?

**innie**

of course! Is something wrong?

**hyunjin**

nothing, don’t worry. just wanted to talk to someone

**innie**

i’m always here to talk! where should we meet?

**hyunjin**

idk, it’s really could outside, so somewhere in the castle would be better

**innie**

what do you think of the astronomy tower? there’s something I wanted to show you

**hyunjin**

hm, why not?

**innie**

omw

**hyunjin**

gimme five minutes to get ready and i’m coming

The astronomy tower isn’t far from the dungeons, and he gets here rather quickly. He opens the door with a simple spell and settles on a couch while waiting for Jeongin, who isn’t arrived yet, probably because the Ravenclaw dorms are on the other side of the castle. Or maybe he’s having a hard time avoiding the caretaker. Students aren’t supposed to be out of their rooms at this hour, but they all collectively decided to ignore this rule. As long as they don’t get noticed, teachers pretend they don’t know about it. But the caretaker, Argus Filch, doesn’t hesitate to punish everyone he catches late at night in the hallways.

Hyunjin hopes Jeongin didn’t get caught. It would be his fault, since he’s the one who asked him to go out. He starts to get anxious, but thankfully a few minutes later Jeongin is here, wearing a black hoodie and pajamas.

“I’m sorry I didn’t take the time to change,” he apologizes, looking a bit flustered, probably from his walk.

“It doesn’t matter,” assures Hyunjin. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Jeongin looks at him, an unreadable expression on his face. But right after his usual smile is back, and he sits next to Hyunjin.

“What’s all of this for? You weren’t feeling too well?” The worry in his voice is obvious, and Hyunjin feels his heart tighten. It would be so easy to tell him everything, but he’s not sure Jeongin would understand. He doesn’t want him to look at him weirdly, or to think he’s a bad friend. So he keeps his doubts and insecurities inside of him, where they burden his heart, and instead changes the subject.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. You said you wanted to show me something?”

Jeongin doesn’t look convinced but he nods anyway. He stands up, looking at Hyunjin right in the eyes.

“Okay, this is a secret I haven’t showed anyone yet, except for Minho. Please don’t freak out.”

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, about to ask what’s so terrible about this secret that it could make him feel this way, when Jeongin suddenly disappears.

Well, he doesn’t exactly disappear. Sure, the human who stood here seconds before is gone, but instead there’s a tiny little fox with Jeongin’s eyes, and Hyunjin understands immediately.

“You’re an Animagus!” he exclaims, before remembering they’re not supposed to be here, and he should probably keep his voice down. “What- how is it even possible!”

Fox-Jeongin jumps on his lap, and Hyunjin can’t resist the urge to pet him. He’s amazed by the fact that this tiny creature is his friend to whom he was talking just moments before. He’s never witnessed an Animagus transform in front of him before, because wizards who master this ability are rare. It requires a lot of work and time, and usually people rather learn more useful skills, except if they have a good reason to want to transform into an animal.

Even in fox form, Jeongin looks like Jeongin. Or maybe he looks like a fox when he’s human because of his Animagus. Hyunjin tries to remember the theory of Animagus transfiguration he was taught in third year, but he can’t recall anything else other than the fact that Animagi can’t choose their animal form and often become the animal that suit them best. Their Patronus are also mostly the same as the animal they can turn into. Which means Hyunjin would probably be a dog, since that’s his Patronus.

Either way, he can’t take his eyes of Jeongin. The fox is looking at him with what looks like a smile, even though foxes can’t smile. Hyunjin has always loved animals, especially cute little ones like this, and his heart warms at the sight.

They stay at least fifteen minutes like this, without speaking, only Hyunjin petting the fox’s fur and humming various songs. Being with animals has a therapeutic effect on him, and he realizes that he doesn’t feel weird anymore, but relaxed and at peace.

“Thank you,” he whispers, and Jeongin chooses this moment to escape his arms and transform back into his usual human. His smile is beautiful, Hyunjin thinks.

“You’re welcome,” he answers, taking his seat next to the Slytherin. “Now are you feeling better?”

“Yes,” answers Hyunjin, before frowning. “Wait. How did you know I was down? I said I was fine.”

“You seemed off yesterday, and your message from earlier said you wanted to talk to someone. I figured you just didn’t want to admit that you weren’t in a good mood.”

“And how did you know being a fox would help?”

“You always tell me about how much you love animals and you miss your dog. I can’t replace him, but there’s studies that say that animals can help you feel better. Like… It can lower stress, elevate levels of serotoninand dopamine, which help to relax. I hoped it would work, and I’m glad it did.”

He seems so proud of himself Hyunjin is overwhelmed by gratitude. Jeongin noticed something was wrong and did his best to cheer him up. He doesn’t deserve him.

“How did you even learn to be an Animagus? Aren’t there like, a dozen requirements to successfully be one?”

“Ah, it wasn’t easy. I had the motivation and the courage to do it thanks to my sister. I don’t usually talk about it, but she’s been having… problems since she was seven and was put in St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. She… She doesn’t always recognize me or my family when we visit her.”

His tone has gotten sadder, and Hyunjin regrets ever asking.

“Sorry, you don’t have to talk about it if it’s too difficult, I understand…”

“No, no, it’s okay. The doctors do their best, but I don’t think she’ll ever recover completely. But it wasn’t what I wanted to talk about. At St Mango’s, they use pets as a part of therapy. They say it has a good influence on the patients. And my sister, she loves dogs and cats, and when we come, she talks about them for hours, and how much she likes being with them. When I was in third year, and we learned about Animagus, I thought that’s what I needed to do. To help my sister, and to be with her in a form where I could be useful. So I worked really hard to achieve this result, and now I can finally say I’m proud of myself, because I can actually help with her treatment.”

Hyunjin looks at Jeongin, eyes wide. He was expecting everything but this. To think that he went this far, not because of selfish reasons, but to be closer to his sister and to help her, is... Strangely moving. Jeongin is kind and selfless and honestly Hyunjin thinks he’s never met someone who brings him so much happiness just by existing. And he’s friend with _Felix._

“Plus, it’s easier being a fox sometimes,” Jeongin smiles. “Nothing to worry about. I can just spend my afternoons in Minho’s lap, sleeping peacefully.”

Hyunjin smiles too. He realizes it’s comforting, having Jeongin by his side. His mood has considerably lightened up, and he can now breathe without the knot in his stomach weighing on him. It’s amazing how only a few moments with him succeeded more in helping him than three days on his own.

They stay together, talking and laughing and teasing each other like they always do, until Jeongin starts yawning way too often, and they decide they’d better head back to their rooms to get a good night of sleep.

Once he’s in his room, even Seungmin talking about how he’s so in love with Felix isn’t enough to make Hyunjin sad. It’s like being with Jeongin created a bubble of happiness where sad thoughts can’t enter. When he falls asleep, for the first time in a few days, his heart doesn’t feel like it’s heavy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always don't hesitate to leave kudos and comments ehe!!
> 
> stay hydrated and stream back door if you can yeaaah


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> quidditch, dancing, talking about clothes and gender and minho being whipped for jisung

Hyunjin loves dancing.

It’s a passion he has had ever since he was a little boy, barely able to walk on his own. His parents liked listening to music, and there was always a song playing in their tiny London flat, lightning up the atmosphere and brightening their spirits. His parents didn’t stick to a specific genre, they explored every kind of music, and it is probably from them that Hyunjin got his eclectic musical taste.

Sometimes, when they were in a good mood, they would put a song with a lively beat, push the sofa against the wall and dance in the middle of the living room, carefree and cheerful. Hyunjin liked these moments so much that when he grew up, he asked if he could take dance lessons, and he never really stopped dancing since then.

He never planned on making a career out of it, but he had the intention of participating in several dance contests in the hope of getting recognition for his hard work and practice his passion with others like him. In his dance class, most of the students were here just to have fun or because their parents had put them here to have an hour of peace. Hyunjin found out quickly that few of them were as involved in dancing as he was.

Sometimes, he felt a bit alone with no one to share his passion with. He wanted to talk about the feelings he wanted to express with his movements, the emotions he wanted to convey, how important was dancing to him, how he never felt as good as he did after a dance session. But the others stopped thinking about dance once they were out of the studio, while he kept reviewing moves and counting the beats in his head all day long.

When his parents agreed to let him go to a high school allowing him to follow a course with both dance and normal lessons, he was over the moon. He had everything planned out: he’d spend five years here, studying for his future job while practicing his passion. His future was promising

Of course, when he got his Hogwarts letter, his plans fizzled out. Coming from a muggle family, he’d never even heard of wizards before, and they thought it was just some bad joke. But then a witch came to their house, introduced herself as Minerva McGonagall, before explaining to them that it wasn’t, in fact, a prank pulled on them. Hyunjin had to choose between the future he’d prepared himself for and something exciting and new. In the end, he decided to go to Hogwarts, but to keep dancing on his own whenever he could. It was hard having to give up on his dream school, but the idea of learning _magic_ compensated for the loss of his dance lessons.

It was around his fourth year that he started doing dance covers and posting them on the internet. Filming himself was nothing new, as it helped him point out movements he did wrong, but he was never confident enough to share them. Then, while talking with other dancers on the internet, he realized it might be good for him to step out of his comfort zone and post them, and he could receive feedbacks from dancers which could help him improve.

His first cover was on Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance, and while he didn’t get a lot of views for it, the positive comments he received motivated him to keep working even harder. It wasn’t always easy to conciliate schoolwork and dancing, but he managed anyway, because both were important to him. On top of that, he felt like he had to work twice as hard to compensate the fact that he was a Muggle-born in Slytherin. Thankfully Seungmin and Chan were always right beside him to support him and help him when he felt like he was going to explode under the workload.

His dance covers were kind of his secret. Only his closest friends knew about it, which wasn’t much, and until then nobody in school had found them (or at least, they hadn’t talked to him about it). He wasn’t hiding it, not really, but he would be kind of embarrassed if someone found about it. When he danced, he showed himself raw, with no concealed emotions or false pretenses. All the feelings he bottled up inside of him during the day, he let them all out at once entirely. He often didn’t recognize himself when he watched the recording of his dance sessions, amazed by how different he looked from the shy, introverted person he usually was. He wasn’t ready to show this side of himself to the people he knew. He wasn’t comfortable enough to _show_ himself as he really was. He was too scared of what people would say.

Hyunjin was afraid of a lot of things. Horror movies, insects, loneliness, those were all things that made him tremble, but what terrified him was the thought of disappointing people. He couldn’t bring himself to tell people he loved to dance because he was afraid they would see his covers and think, _so this is why he worked so hard for? All these years of effort for this?_ Dance was too important for him to let someone crush his passion with harsh, cold words. He had nothing against constructive criticism, but he knew bad remarks would demotivate him completely.

In Hogwarts, he still managed to work on his dancing, but he had to be subtle about it. Between classes and homework, it was not always easy finding time to practice, especially when trying to hide from his classmates. He had found out about the Room of Requirement and this had been a revelation. A whole room which could be everything he wanted? He had created the perfect studio ever, with mirrors all along the walls, a radio to put some music, and all the space he needed. It was a place where he would go when he was feeling down, or when he was too energetic to concentrate on his school assignments. A place where he could express himself after a day of having to put up with exuberant people talking too loudly.

So, Hyunjin loves dancing. But it isn’t the only sport that makes his heart beat faster and leads him to work hard every week. He’s a part of the Quidditch team, too, and he absolutely loves it. But in order to be a valuable asset for the Slytherin house, he needs to train as much as possible, and adding this to homework and dance practice has been… Quite hard. Especially since the Slytherin team captain, Yeji, is determined to win and therefore makes them go to the field twice a week to train. He had to put dance aside for a while, but it’s for a good cause: Quidditch is very important to him as well. He can always find time to dance at other times.

Especially right now, Quidditch is quite the priority. Traditionally, the week before Christmas is a week where one of the six matches of the Inter-house Quidditch Cup takes place. It’s a tournament that has been going on for generations and consists of the four houses competing against each other throughout the school year. Each team plays three matches, which makes a total of six games. The first one, Ravenclaw against Hufflepuff, took place in early October and resulted in Ravenclaw’s victory, Hyunjin remembers. At that time, he didn’t know Jeongin and therefore wasn’t really paying attention, but now that he knows the boy is Ravenclaw’s Seeker, he’s determined to cheer for him next time they’re playing. 

Tomorrow, Slytherin is set to play against Gryffindor. Which means Hyunjin will be against Jisung, who’s a beater in the Gryffindor team. He would lie if he said he wasn’t stressing about this match, the first of the year for him. Gryffindor is a really good team, and exam week took a toll on Hyunjin’s energy. He does his best to sleep eight hours a night now that they don’t have any tests left, but he can’t erase in a few nights all the fatigue accumulated for three weeks. He just hopes he’ll be okay, and that the Gryffindor Seeker isn’t going to be in good shape either.

Today the Slytherin team is having one last training practice before the D-day, and he can feel his eyelids closing while he’s supposed to be looking for the Snitch. He just feels soooo tired, and he would give anything to be on his bed right now, with nothing to do but listen to Chan’s blabbering about a new spell he created. If he could just close his eyes for five seconds…

“ _Hyunjin_! Focus!” snaps a feminine voice behind him, and he jolts awake, clutching his broom tighter.

Hwang Yeji, their team captain, is next to him now and she doesn’t seem very happy. Her silver hair is tied in a ponytail, as always when she’s playing, and she’s not wearing her Quidditch jersey but the regular Slytherin one. Hyunjin sighs.

“Sorry, I know, I know, I need to concentrate, blah blah.”

“I don’t think you understand the stakes. We’re having a match against Gryffindor tomorrow, and if you’re like this, there’s no chance we’ll win. Do I need to remind you that we haven’t won the Cup in three years? Our reputation isn’t the best right now, and who is going to want to take our place next year, when we’ll be gone? It’s capital that we win to give new students the will to join the team. And I don’t want to see Ryujin’s smug smile directed at me once again.”

The next sentence is mumbled, but Hyunjin gets the gist of it. Ryujin is the Gryffindor’s team captain and Yeji’s sworn enemy. At least that’s what she says. Hyunjin thinks that this so-called rivalry is more to hide her massive crush on the cute girl than anything else, but who is he to talk? It’s not like he has a lot of experience in crushes, or in romance for that matter.

“I know, Yeji, trust me, I want to win too. I’m just tired because of last week, but it’s going to be fine tomorrow after I get a good night of sleep, I assure you.”

She squints her eyes in suspicion, but nods anyway.

“I trust you, Hwang. Don’t disappoint me. Oh, and if I were you, I’d move a bit around the field, because the Snitch isn’t going to fall in your arms on its own.”

She flies away after that, heading to correct another player’s posture. Hyunjin rubs his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up. He had troubles falling asleep last night for no particular reason, and he hopes it won’t be the case tonight. He needs every bit of rest he can get.

They still practice for half an hour before Yeji calls it a day and they can all regain the ground.

“Everyone, have a good night of sleep and eat well tomorrow, because we’re going to win!”

The rest of the team cheers, Hyunjin included. Yeji smiles and they start walking in direction of the castle, leaving her behind to take care of tidying up. It’s obvious that she’s proud of them. It’s true that she can be strict, but she’s a really good leader and only wishes the best for the team.

Hyunjin has every intention of going to bed right after taking a shower. It’s only nine, but he’s so exhausted he’s afraid of passing out right here in the castle’s garden. He hopes the stress of the upcoming match isn’t going to disturb his night too much. Maybe he’ll take one of Chan’s medicine to sleep better.

Nevertheless, he feels great in a way, like always after playing Quidditch. It’s a good kind of exhaustion, the kind that makes you feel proud because you did something of your day. Flying is definitely in his list of his favorite things in the world, right next to his friends, the pies his father bakes, dancing, the smell of new books and his dog, and there’s nothing like flying a bit to clear his mind.

When he enters his room, Seungmin and Chan are both huddled in one bed, sharing a blanket and staring at the computer before them, probably watching a movie considering how focused they are. Hyunjin is suddenly overwhelmed by love for his two best friends. Tiredness often has this effect on him, making him clingy and quick to make love confessions to everyone around him, especially his friends. After the long day he had, the sight of Seungmin and Chan is comforting and reassuring, and he wants nothing but to take place next to them and hug them.

“What are you guys watching?” he asks, because maybe jumping right in to crush them in his arms is a bit aggressive.

“ _Howl’s moving castle,_ ” answers Seungmin.

Hyunjin gasps, immediately dropping his coat to the floor to put his hand over his heart in a dramatic gesture.

“Without me?! It’s my favorite movie!”

“You said you wanted to show it to Jeongin this week, so we figured you weren’t going to watch it twice in such a short amount of time.”

“You underestimate me. I watched it every day for five days during the first week of third year because you and Chan were not here, and I felt lonely.”

“Why do you act like it’s something to be proud of when it’s just really pathetic?”

“Guys!” whines Chan, pausing the film to look at them. “Can you please stop bickering? I know I can read the subtitles, but I’d like to hear their voices. Jinnie, if you want to join us, come on. We’re at the part when Sophie disguises as Pendragon’s mother to visit the Queen.”

Hyunjin nods excitedly before throwing his things on his bed, not bothering to care about his books falling on the ground. The three of them fit perfectly together on Chan’s bed with their back against the wall, and they put the computer on Chan’s lap who’s in the middle. It takes them a few minutes to get comfy, but then Hyunjin has his head on Chan’s shoulder and he’s smiling because it feels great to be here with them, watching his favorite movie.

“Can I press play?”

“Yes,” answers Seungmin.

“Wait! I wanted to say something first. I love you guys.”

“Aww, Tired Hyunjin is back!”

“Shut up! I’m being nice here!”

“We love you too, Jinnie.”

*

On the next morning, Hyunjin feels really good and well-rested. It’s not a mood he’s used to, considering how shitty and tiring the past weeks have been, but he doesn’t complain. He needs to be in the best shape he can for tonight’s match.

“I’m so excited!” pipes Felix when he comes say hello to Seungmin at breakfast. “The good thing is, whoever the winner is, I’ll be happy, because it’s either my house or my friends’ house!”

His enthusiasm is contagious, and Hyunjin finds himself smiling. He doubts Yeji would approve of his opinion on the matter, but Felix is too pure for anyone to be mad to him. He appreciates the fact that he and Seungmin don’t spend all their time together but manage to hang out with their other friends as well. One of Hyunjin’s biggest fears about his friends dating is that they would forget about him and leave him alone because they found someone more important than him to share their life with. Thankfully, he doesn’t feel this way with Felix and Seungmin’s relationship. It reassures him a little.

“Shh, don’t say this to Hyunjin, he plays in the team, of course he wants to win!” giggles Seungmin, and Hyunjin squints because that’s not a noise he’s used to hear from his friend except when he’s mocking him.

“Jisung plays too!” protests Felix. “That doesn’t mean I don’t support him. I’m just saying, both of you will give your best and whoever wins, I’m going to celebrate! I think it’s better to be in this mindset than to be disappointed because of who lost.”

“He’s not wrong,” remarks Chan, munching on his toast.

“Thank you!”

“Sorry, but I’m still rooting for our team,” says Seungmin before shrugging.

“But you’ll still seat next to me during the game, right?”

“Of course, babe.”

“Ugh, _babe,_ ” mimics Hyunjin, making a disgusted face. “You’re ruining my appetite.”

Seungmin and Felix both stick their tongue at him.

“You’ll see when you have a boyfriend. Or girlfriend. Or significant other, if they’re more comfortable with a gender-neutral term,” comments the freckled boy.

“I’m bisexual, I’m okay with each option. But that doesn’t mean I want to be in a relationship right now and –”

“Hi, Hyunjin!” says someone behind him, and he turns to face Jeongin, who’s smiling widely like always, his eyes forming two crescents and making him look even more like a fox. “I came to wish you good luck for tonight!”

Minho is trailing behind, out of breath and cheeks red.

“Innie!” he protests. “You could have warned me before running like that!”

“Sorry,” says Jeongin, even if he doesn’t seem sorry at all. Minho groans before joining the Ravenclaw table, mumbling about how kids today don’t have any respect for their elders. 

“That’s very sweet,” says Hyunjin in response to Jeongin. He’s touched by the younger’s attention. Even though they’re friends, he didn’t have to come this early in the morning to wish him luck, and yet he did.

“I wasn’t sure I would be able to see you before the match, so I came now instead. I hope I’m not interrupting?”

“Don’t worry, I just finished eating,” assures Hyunjin. He didn’t eat much, but he never does when it’s Quidditch day. It’s like his stomach refuses to accept anything.

“I have to go join Minho to have breakfast, but I’ll see you after the match, right? Whatever the outcome, I’ll be proud of you! You trained hard for this and you’re going to do amazing!”

Hyunjin blinks, taken aback. He should be used to it by now, but Jeongin’s constant supportiveness never fails to surprise him, in a good way of course.

“Thank you, Jeongin,” he manages to say, a smile stretching on his lips. “It matters a lot to me.”

“Anytime! You got this!” exclaims Jeongin, before grabbing a toast covered with strawberry jam and shoving it in his mouth. “Have a good day, Jinnie!”

Hyunjin waves at him, his heart still warm form the younger’s words as he watches him make his way to the Ravenclaw table. He ignores Felix and Seungmin’s cooing behind him. In this very moment, he feels like he can take over the world.

*

It’s a feeling that dies down quickly when they walk past a window and see how bad the weather is. Grey clouds are accumulating just above the castle, and this means that it’s probably going to rain in a few hours. Hyunjin hopes it won’t be worse during the match, because it can be postponed only under exceptional circumstances and “a few drops of water”, as McGonagall puts it, “isn’t going to kill anyone”. But flying while being soaked and not being able to see what’s going on before him isn’t going to make the match a very agreeable time. He crosses his fingers and prays silently to whoever’s listening for the weather to brighten up before 6pm.

Alas, as expected, when the students start to take place in the stands surrounding the Quidditch pitch, it’s pouring down. Thankfully for the spectators, the stands are covered with awnings, preventing them from getting drenched. But the Gryffindor and Slytherin teams are out in the rain, clutching their brooms tightly and cursing the weather, waiting for the kick-off. Yeji looks like she wants to murder someone. Hyunjin is just disappointed. He was so excited for this match, they’ve been training since the beginning of the school year, only to end up like this, dripping wet and shuddering because of the cold, with a poor visibility.

He’s positive he’s going to catch a cold if he stays one more minute like this. Unfortunately, the match hasn’t even begun. There are high chances he’s going to spend next week’s holidays at home, in his bed. He throws a glance at Jisung, who doesn’t seem happy at all to be here either. He smiles apologetically, as if he had anything to do with the weather. Jisung returns his smile, but it’s obviously strained.

 _It was the first time Jeongin was going to see me play, it’s a shame he won’t be able to see me with this rain…_ Hyunjin starts looking for his friend in the stands, but there’s no way he’s going to find him among the hundreds of students gathered here. But knowing he’s here somewhere is enough. He’s determined to win, because for some reason, he wants Jeongin to look at him with pride in his eyes. He wants to impress him. It’s stupid, really. He’s always had a tendency to prove himself to others.

He doesn’t have the time to dwell on it too much because the referee is blowing their whistle. Next thing he knows, he’s in the air, the Gryffindor Seeker by his side. Her name is Chaeryeong, he remembers.

“Good luck,” she says, before flashing him a cocky grin and disappearing into the rain, her long auburn hair flying behind.

There’s no way the Gryffindors are winning this match. It may be pouring down, but Hyunjin isn’t going to admit defeat so easily. He starts scanning the air looking for the Snitch, suddenly full of energy and combativeness.

He doesn’t know for how long he’s been in the air when a whistle blows somewhere below him. His heart tightens. This can only mean one thing: Chaeryeong caught the Snitch. He’s so disappointed, his enthusiasm deflating like a balloon. He was really hoping they would win this time. Well, guess he’ll have to hear Yeji’s disapproving commentary.

He gets closer to the ground, but something is off. He hears someone shouting something behind him, but he doesn’t understand. He lands, a little dizzy due to being in the air for so long. It’s raining so much he can’t see anything, but his heart is beating faster, a bad feeling lodged in his chest.

The beater of the Slytherin team lands next to him, and he’s frowning, visibly confused as well.

“What happened?” asks Hyunjin, even if the other probably has no idea either. Indeed, he shakes his head, eyebrows raised. The match didn’t end like it usually does. Otherwise, there would be people cheering, the referee coming to welcome the winners. Instead there is only confusion. He can’t really see the people in the stands, but he hears the whispers and the questioning. Whatever is happening, it must be something serious.

“Please make way so we can get through!” shouts someone behind them, and they take a step to the left, right before Madam Pomfrey passes in front of them, carrying a stretcher with the help of some Hufflepuff student Hyunjin doesn’t know. He frowns, lowering his eyes, and his heart misses a bit when he sees who’s on the stretcher, his face distorted with pain, his arm hanging on the side. It’s Jisung.

*

The Hospital Wing is colder than ever, and Hyunjin wishes he could change into dry clothes instead of shivering in his soaked jumper and pants. But he can’t bring himself to leave, not when Jisung is lying on a bed next to him, his skin white and his breathing ragged. Madam Pomfrey went to fetch some meds, and he’s alone with him now. There’s no way he’s going to leave his friend on his own, not when he needs him the most. He bites his lip in worry. They’re not the closest ones in their little group, but he still cares deeply about Jisung and seeing him in this state is stressful.

When he saw who had been hurt in the match, he’d followed the matron to the Hospital Wing, not thinking for one second of what his team would think of his disappearance. The match had likely been interrupted because of Jisung’s accident so there was nothing to win anyway. The students were probably coming back to the castle at this very moment. He couldn’t stay on the pitch knowing that his friend was suffering. It’s not like he can do something to help him, but if it was him lying here, he would like to have a familiar face at his side.

“H…Hyunjin, it’s you?”

Hyunjin stands up immediately at the sound of Jisung’s feeble voice.

“Yes, yes it’s me. Are you okay?”

He hasn’t said a word since they got here, probably because he was hurting too much. He’s looking at Hyunjin now, wincing in pain, and the Slytherin feels his heart tighten.

“Yeah, never been better,” he says, his breath hitching.

“I can see that. Did you fall?”

“Yup, think so. I let go of my broom for a second to catch the Quaffle and slipped because of the rain.”

“I don’t understand why they let you play with this weather,” protests Madam Pomfrey, coming back with a tray on which several potions have been placed. “It would be easier to postpone it and we could avoid incidents like this. Of course, they’re not the ones taking care of the injuries, it’s easy for them! Sit down, I’m going to give you medicine.”

She keeps mumbling about how the teachers are irresponsible while pouring some potion into a spoon, that she puts in front of Jisung’s mouth. “This will ease the pain a bit.”

He swallows the med, making a face. The potion apparently doesn’t taste good.

“You’re going to be fine, nothing that I can’t heal in a few hours, but you should stay here for the night just in case.”

“Alone?” exclaims Jisung, looking at Hyunjin with a desperate look on his face.

Hyunjin is about to say he’ll stay here with him when the door bursts open, and Minho and Jeongin come storming off.

“Great, more loud and noisy teenagers,” groans the matron before putting the tray on the nightstand. “I’ll leave you now, if you need anything I’ll be in my office.”

The two boys are out of breath, probably after running all the way from the pitch. Hyunjin smiles reassuringly at Jeongin, who nods, relieved. He’s drenched, but he looks okay, a bit worried at much. And then his eyes land on Minho.

Minho is most of the time someone you could describe as indifferent. No emotions cross his face, and irony and sarcasm are his two best friends when it comes to expressing himself. Even with Jisung or Jeongin, he never really shows his real thoughts, at least not in front of Hyunjin. He fakes being disgusted, pretends to yawn when you talk to him, and loves mocking his friends, always in a playful manner of course.

But the look on distraught in his face at this very moment isn’t faked at all. It’s genuine, real concern visible in his eyes. He seems distressed in a sincere way that is so unlike him, Hyunjin wonders for a few seconds if it’s really the same Lee Minho in front of him that he has learnt to appreciate as a friend over the past weeks, the same Lee Minho who seems so detached from everything.

“Jisung,” Minho says, before getting closer to the bed. He sits on it, careful not to crush Jisung’s legs. His voice is a bit shaky, but he’s doing his best to hide it. “When they said the match was over because of an accident, I was looking for you and— and you weren’t here.”

He raises his hand to cup Jisung’s face, then seems to realize what he’s doing and retreats it quickly like he burned himself. A flicker of disappointment crosses Jisung’s face, but it’s so quick Hyunjin thinks he might have hallucinated. He doesn’t know exactly the nature of the relationship between these two, but he could bet his collector edition of _The Little Prince_ that it isn’t entirely platonic. At least on Minho’s side ; Jisung is… Well, he’s still trying to figure out Jisung’s feelings.

“You were looking for me? Aww, so cute. I knew you couldn’t live without me.”

Minho laughs, but it doesn’t come out as his usual snicker. It’s painfully humorless and fake. Hyunjin glances at Jeongin, who shrugs.

“Yeah, right. Guess I can’t live without you,” Minho chuckles, but he seems a bit deflated.

There’s an awkward silence, and the four of them look at each other, unsure of what to say after that. They’re finally interrupted by Jeongin, who apparently can’t stand it anymore. “Well, maybe Hyunjin and I could leave you alone and go take a walk somewhere far away from… whatever you two are.”

“We’re friends!” they exclaim in unison, and Minho’s ears get significantly redder.

“Right. Jinnie, you’re coming?”

The nickname always does something to Hyunjin. He’s used to Chan and Seungmin calling him like that, but it’s still new to hear Jeongin saying it. It feels oddly comforting and reassuring.

They leave their two friends behind, and after closing the door carefully Hyunjin turns to Jeongin, raising an eyebrow.

“What’s with Minho? He seemed really shaken.”

“And you didn’t see him back there. If I didn’t know him better, I would’ve thought he was going to cry. When Ryujin came to tell us Jisung had been injured, he panicked.”

They find a bench carved into the stone of an alcove and sit on it. Hyunjin is still wearing wet clothes, and Jeongin isn’t any better, but Madam Pomfrey isn’t here to monitor their use of magic anymore, so Hyunjin grabs his wand and cast a warming spell on both of them. Jeongin heaves a relieved sigh, and Hyunjin closes his eyes for a second, enjoying the feeling of heat coursing through his body. Now that he isn’t freezing on the spot, he can finally try to learn more about Minho.

“Is he… I mean, does he have a crush on Jisung?”

“A _crush_?” Jeongin sneers. “Have you seen… Actually, I don’t think I’m supposed to disclose this kind of information, sorry.”

He smiles apologetically, but he still seems amused by Hyunjin’s question.

Hyunjin raises his hands. “No, no I totally get it. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Jeongin sighs. “It’s complicated, I guess. Maybe I’ll be able to tell you more when things change, but for now, I feel like I wouldn’t deserve to be called his best friend if I went around telling his secrets to everyone.”

“Yeah, I did that one day and Seungmin didn’t talk to me for two entire weeks. I was miserable.”

Hyunjin hadn’t even do it on purpose. He’d told Chan about Seungmin’s secret, but for his defense he didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret.

“It’s sad the match was cancelled,” says Jeongin, changing the subject. “I wanted to see who our next opponent would be.”

“Oh yeah, you were supposed to play against today’s winner. Well, with Jisung’s state, they will probably postpone it to January, because there’s the ball on Thursday and after that it’s the holidays.”

“They should have postponed the match when they saw how bad the weather was. We couldn’t even see the players.”

Hyunjin nods. “That’s what Madam Pomfrey said. Jisung will be okay, but he was hurting a lot earlier. I’m kinda angry that they didn’t cancel it, it could have been a more serious injury.”

“I hope he’ll be okay for the ball after tomorrow, otherwise I know someone who is going to stay in a corner brooding all night,” laughs Jeongin, a mocking smile illuminating his face and making his eyes crinkle. Hyunjin smiles too. It’s a reflex, whenever he sees Jeongin smiles it immediately lift up his mood. The boy is really his happy pill.

“Speaking of the ball, have you thought about what you’re going to wear?”

Jeongin’s question takes him by surprise, and he opens his mouth before closing it, his cheeks red. He _has_ thought about it, but he isn’t sure he’s confident enough to pull off the outfit he has in mind. He also isn’t sure he wants to talk about it to Jeongin. It’s not like the other would judge him, at least he doesn’t think so, but he doesn’t want him to expect something amazing in case he chickens out and comes in a regular, basic, boring suit.

“I’m working on it,” he answers instead, and the younger seems to be contempt with his response. “You?”

“I don’t know, I don’t really have anything festive enough that would fit the mood of a ball. I asked my mom to send me some clothes, but I didn’t receive any package yet. I’ll probably end up going with black pants and my Ravenclaw sweater,” he chuckles.

“I can lend you some fancy clothes,” suggests Hyunjin before he can stop himself. He becomes suddenly very self-conscious. “Well, uh, they’re maybe a bit too … Feminine for your liking, with … laces and all. I don’t know.”

Wizard society is clearly more tolerant than the Muggle society is on this subject, but some habits are hard to shake and Hyunjin has gotten used to hide his clothing taste. They’re required to wear a uniform at Hogwarts anyway, so he doesn’t have to question himself if his white silk shirt with a laced low-cut neckline is gender-neutral enough to avoid everyone looking at him in a weird way. He heard some nasty comments about some pastel pink coat he was wearing when he was in 4th grade, and since then he’d tried to wear only plain and dark-colored clothes. Which is really stupid, because a pink coat isn’t that unusual for a boy? Apparently British ten-year-old boys still thinks so.

Anyway, Hyunjin owns a lot of clothes that aren’t considered masculine, and sometimes he’s scared of wearing them.

“Clothes don’t have gender,” shrugs Jeongin, “and gender is a social construct anyway.”

He turns to Hyunjin, eyes sparkling, and the older boy immediately forgets about his worries. He briefly wonders if Jeongin has this effect on everyone or if it is just him that feels this way when he sees him.

“Yeah, but sadly not everyone thinks like that.”

“Everyone else is stupid. Seriously, who decided that how you dress has something to do with what you identify to? It’s just fabric.”

Hyunjin distinctly remembers the boys of his school looking at him and frowning, mocking him and telling him that he looked like a girl. Kids bully anyone over anything, but this is a much deeper problem than just children being mean, because adults think this way too. He sighs. He can’t change people’s mentality, as much as he’d like to.

“At least I feel like wizards don’t care too much about stuff like that. It’s reassuring. Maybe one day, people will realize that gendering things is unnecessary and dumb. Until then, I’ll stay in the wizarding world. Muggles are too close-minded.”

“I didn’t know Muggles still thought like that. We’re in 2020 though, didn’t they realize that it was kind of stupid?” asks Jeongin, tilting his head to the side. “I mean, no offense, but I don’t understand their point of view. What’s so horrible about someone wearing something they like?”

“Trust me, if there was a logical explanation behind this, we’d knew. It’s just prejudices and… I don’t even know. Tradition? They say these things like “nowadays the world is becoming crazy.” As if people living how they want to is disturbing their lives.”

Jeongin stays silent for a few seconds, taking into account what Hyunjin just said. He finally puts a hand on the Slytherin’s thigh, making him stiff in surprise.

“I’m glad you’re here now, so you don’t have to deal with that,” he says softly, looking at Hyunjin in the eyes. “It’s not perfect here, and maybe we can be a bit stupid too, but we’ll never judge someone for being themselves.”

Hyunjin doesn’t know what to say to that, so lowers his eyes to watch the hand on his thigh, and Jeongin removes it quickly. “Sorry, personal space.”

“No, no, it’s okay. I don’t mind physical contact.”

“Still, I should’ve asked first.”

“You know, I’m glad to be here, too. I just hope that things will get better for the people out here who don’t have my chance,” explains Hyunjin, leaning back on the wall. “Tradition and prejudice suck, and people suffer because of them. I hope that at least, they have someone like you in their life to bring them happiness.”

It was a heartfelt comment, and he didn’t think much about it when saying it. His friends were used to him talking about how much he liked them at the most random times, it was just his personality. He didn’t even notice Jeongin hadn’t responded.

His eyes are now fixed on the window in front of him, lost in his thoughts of a world where no one would ever be mean to another person, and he misses the blush spreading on Jeongin’s cheeks, and the way his heartbeat suddenly speeds up.

He has no idea that the younger is falling more and more for him every passing minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have the impression that this is moving either really slowly or too quickly,, I hope you still like it! I promise next time there'll be more hyunin interactions eheh bc it's going to be the baaaaall  
> also I didn't know if one of the characters who's asexual should talk about it bc I don't want to make a big deal of it so it normalizes it but at the same time I like it when I see asexual characters in fanfics I read and they talk about it hmmmm
> 
> anyway here's my [ kofi ](https://ko-fi.com/pilotsirens) if you have some money to spare ehe,, have a good day/night/afternoon idk at what time you're reading this and thank you for the kudos and comments!! it makes me so happy
> 
> also as I can't work on only one fanfic at a time apparently, I started writing a howl's moving castle au featuring hyunsung so stay tuned ehe


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the ball, part one
> 
> (or, jeongin is struggling with his blossoming feelings and hyunjin is oblivious)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloo I hope you're all doing great!! I'm actually doing the nanowrimo challenge, so I don't want to get your hopes up but the chapters will probably arrive more quickly than you're used to ehe!

Hyunjin takes a deep breath and tries to relax. Being a dancer, he knows a lot about breathing techniques, but for some reasons it never works when he’s stressed. He inspires, expires, but he still can’t bring himself to open his eyes.

He’s afraid of what he’s going to see in the mirror, and he’s starting to have secondary thoughts. What if it’s ugly? What if it doesn’t suit him at all? What if he just made the biggest mistake ever? And the ball is only in a few hours, it’s too late to fix it. Are people going to make fun of him? Flashbacks of his years of primary school in the Muggle world come to his mind, and he shivers. He has to remind himself it’s not the same here. But even if people are open-minded, it doesn’t mean they can’t recognize it when they see something ugly. What if it’s ugly?!

Oh well, what’s done is done, right? How horrible can it be?

He opens one eye, slowly, and then both of them completely. _Oh_ is the first thought that comes to his mind.

It’s not a disappointed _oh_. It’s not an enthusiastic _oh_! either, more like a _oh, this looks better than I thought it would_. He’s… kinda relieved, to be honest.

It’s strange to see himself like this, the usual dark black halo of his hair around his face replaced with light blond strands. Yup, he’s blonde now.

He dyed his hair on a whim. He’d never done it in his entire life, but Chan, who’d tried blonde before, had gave him some of his bleaching products “in case you want to change a bit.” Hyunjin was bored. Chan and Seungmin were out, he was thinking of the ball and of the outfit he would wear, and he got the sudden urge to try something new.

He hasn’t cut his hair in ages, and now it has almost reached his shoulders. It took a bit of time getting used to it, having to put it behind his ears to avoid getting it on his face, feeling his neck hot in summer and not having hair long enough to make a ponytail. But now he can tie it all he wants, which is particularly helpful when playing Quidditch or dancing. With his long hair and his blond hair, he kind of looks like Howl from _Howl’s moving castle_. He decides he likes it. Now he just has to find the perfect outfit and the perfect makeup.

Two hours later, he’s in the middle of sticking small glitter under his eyes when he hears a noise behind him. He smiles, anticipating his friends’ comments, before turning to face them.

“Hi, we’re back and… What the fuck, Jinnie?” exclaims Seungmin, freezing in the doorway. Hyunjin sends him an apologetic smile.

“Ouch, Seungmin, why did you stop all of a su… _Hyunjin_?” gasps Chan, his eyes widening like a cartoon character. He’s rubbing his nose, hurt from having bumped into Seungmin, but his eyes stay fixed on Hyunjin. “I didn’t think you’d ever used my products. Oh my god, I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Do you like it?” asks Hyunjin, a bit nervous.

“Are you kidding? It looks fucking amazing on you!” says Seungmin.

“No swearing in this house,” warns Chan. “But also, he’s right.”

Hyunjin heaves a relieved sigh. His friends’ reactions always play a big part in his life, because he feels so much better knowing they’re supporting him. If they told him he looked good wearing a potato sack, he could probably go out wearing one. And if they’re hesitant about something, there’s a great possibility that he’s not going to do it. It’s not about independence or autonomy or anything, but he listens to his friends a lot and their opinion are valuable to him.

“I thought I had a cool outfit for the ball, but you really outsold,” comments Seungmin. “I’m afraid Lix is going to dump me for you.”

“Aww, don’t worry, I would never dump you for me,” says Hyunjin before frowning. “Wait, that didn’t make sense. Anyway, you get the point. And I’m sure Felix will only be looking at you.”

Seungmin blushes a bit and hides behind the sweater he just picked up on his bed.

“Stop saying things like that!” he whines.

“What? But it’s the truth! Every time I see him, he’s looking at you like you’re the eighth wonder of the world or something. It’s gross.”

Seungmin lets out a soft cry which sounds a lot like a hurt kitten before putting the sweater on his head in an attempt to cover his red cheeks.

“People in love are beyond my understanding,” mumbles Hyunjin, and Chan laughs softly.

The Slytherin dorms being next to the Great Hall, they can hear the band rehearsing as they’re getting dressed for the ball. It sounds really good. Hyunjin’s music taste is all over the place and he likes pretty much everything, so it’s not difficult to please him, but the guitar and the drums he’s hearing as he chooses which earrings suits him the most are really, really cool. The night is going to be awesome.

“What is the band called?” asks Seungmin, the same thought having probably crossed his mind.

“Day6, I think,” answers Chan, still lying on his bed and scrolling on his phone. He doesn’t need much time to get ready, as he already picked his outfit and Seungmin did his makeup earlier. Nothing too fancy, because he has a bad habit to rub his eyes at any time of the day, which would ruin everything. “I heard Jinyoung talk about it earlier. They’re ex-students, apparently.”

“They sound so great! I can’t wait to hear them live.”

Hyunjin was skeptical at first regarding the ball, but now that it’s only in a few hours, he’s starting the feel the excitement buzzing in his veins. There’s something about being with his friends, chatting about anything and getting ready that puts him in a good mood. He almost feels bold enough to meet new people and talk to them tonight. He feels like anything is possible, like tonight is going to be legendary.

He knows it’s stupid, that it’s just a party organized by some students and some teachers to celebrate the end of the exams, nothing extraordinary, but at this moment he wants to believe that it’s something more, the promise of a night so magical he’ll never forget about it. After all, they’re in a magical world, so why wouldn’t it be?

“Are the earrings too much?” he asks, tilting his head in front of the mirror to see if he looks good with the white pearled studs he just put.

Chan stops looking at his phone and squints his eyes before giving a thumbs up. “It’s perfect.”

“Okay, then I think I’m ready.”

He turns around so his friends can get a look at his outfit from every angle, and then stops to look at them, eyebrows raised, waiting for their opinion.

“You look like you came out of a fairy tale,” says Seungmin. “You’re so beautiful it hurts looking at you,” he adds, pretending to shield his face with his hands.

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, but the compliment touches him. He’s feeling more confident now that he knows they find it pretty. He went out of his comfort zone by wearing this.

“This” consists of a white shirt with a V-neck and large sleeves adorned with lace, paired with black pants and high black boots. It’s so different from his usual oversized hoodies, the ones he wears when they don’t have to be in uniform. Seungmin is right, he looks like the princes in the Muggle stories his parents read to him before going to bed. He put pink and fuchsia eyeshadow on his eyelids, and small glitters around his eyes, and although it’s not the first time he’s worn makeup at Hogwarts, he still feels nervous.

“Isn’t it too much?”

He managed to keep his voice from trembling, but Seungmin can somehow sense that the question isn’t trivial, because he gets closer and cups Hyunjin’s face with his hands. He’s not his friend for nothing, he immediately knows when something is wrong with him.

“Hey, Jinnie. It’s going to be okay, don’t worry. I’m with you, and Chan is with you, too. You’re not alone, and no one is going to look at you differently because you’re wearing makeup.”

“But… Maybe I shouldn’t have added the glitters. It’s… It’s a lot, don’t you think?”

“No, it’s so pretty Hyunjin, I assure you.” Seungmin’s voice is reassuring, steady and calm, and Hyunjin feels the knot in his stomach untying a bit. Chan gets up from his bed and place a comforting hand on his shoulders.

“Wear whatever you want to wear, Jinnie. I know… Muggles have given you a hard time when you were younger, but here it’s different. The wizard society isn’t perfect, but this is a safe place. Everyone is here to have fun, and no one would ever think of looking down on someone because of something they like. It’s maybe a concept that’s hard to grasp for you, because you were raised with another way of thinking, but I can assure you that the only concern you need to have here about your makeup is that you will probably outshine everyone and find yourself having to deal with a dozen love confessions before the end of the night.”

Hyunjin laughs, and it’s like a weight has been removed from his shoulders. He hugs Seungmin and Chan tightly. “Thank you,” he whispers in their ears. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

He means it. He’s so grateful for his friends for the comfort they bring him every day, he’s not sure they fully understand the extent of his love. He can’t even find the words to express how thankful he is that he met them.

“Now let’s blow everyone’s mind with our outstanding looks!” exclaims Chan, a large smile on his lips.

He gets dressed quickly, and soon they’re all ready to leave. “We’re going to have the best night of our lives!” cheers Seungmin, and even if it’s a bit exaggerated to say this considering it’s just a simple school ball, Hyunjin wants nothing but to believe him and enjoy himself to the fullest.

*

What’s sure is that they aren’t the only ones to think on a grand scale. The organizing committee clearly outdone themselves. The Great Hall looks completely different, and Hyunjin doesn’t even know where he’s supposed to look since everything seems worthy of interest.

The room is unrecognizable. Usually the fake ceiling is connected to the real sky, but tonight there’s no way that if they go outside, they’ll see something like this, galaxies and constellations in purple and blueish tone stretching above them. In fact, the whole room is decorated in those same colors, in a range from indigo to lilac. It’s pretty.

The only source of light are fairy lights hanging from the walls and circling around the whole room, creating a very cozy atmosphere, and there’s fake snow falling from the ceiling. Where the teachers’ table usually stands is a stage with several instruments on it, a battery, a bass, a guitar and a keyboard. The musicians aren’t here yet, but a hundred or so students have already invested the place.

Hyunjin, Seungmin and Chan’s arrival goes unnoticed, and Hyunjin mentally slaps himself for having stressed so much about his outfit and makeup. It’s clear that no one will pay attention to him, so there’s no reason to work himself up about it.

“Wow,” says Chan, speaking for the three of them.

Christmas trees are placed in every corner of the room, massive ones with colorful tinsels wrapped around them. The tables, covered with beverages and food, have been pushed against the walls to leave room to dance. People are chatting and laughing, some of them already eating, other trying to get a better look at the stage.

“Do you see the others?” asks Seungmin, standing on his tiptoes to try spotting any of their friends.

“Nope,” answers Hyunjin. “We said we’d wait for them at the entrance, let’s just wait here. They probably won’t be long.”

Indeed, only a few minutes after, Felix, Jeongin and Eric enter the room. Hyunjin can pinpoint the exact moment they notice the beauty of the decoration, and their eyes widen in amazement. Right after, Felix turns his head, and a large smile stretches on his lips when he sees them.

“Hi!” he pipes once they get closer. “It’s so pretty here! Jisung and Minho did such a good job with the rest of the commitee!”

“They said it was just a simple party, but they must’ve spent so much time decorating this…” says Chan, eyes trailing on the walls. “Oh Felix, you’re really handsome tonight!”

Hyunjin thinks Felix blushes a bit, although it’s hard to tell with the purple lightning. “Thank you,” he mumbles, scratching his neck.

He’s wearing a black suit and his blonde hair is parted in the middle, falling on either side of his face. His eyes are abnormally blue, probably because of contact lenses. Eric looks pretty too, with his hair ruffled in a stylish way and a simple white shirt with blue pants. And Jeongin…

Hyunjin feels his heart miss a bit when his eyes fell on Jeongin, because the boy is already looking at him and there’s an emotion on his face that he can’t quite place, but it makes Hyunjin’s skin tingle.

“Your… your hair,” Jeongin whispers, and Hyunjin’s enthusiasm deflates a bit. Yes, of course it’s because of his hair that he looks so stunned, nothing else. He’d almost forgotten about it.

He fidgets with a strand of hair, suddenly aware of everyone’s eyes on him. “I hadn’t even noticed!” exclaims Felix. “It looks great on you!”

“Thanks,” he answers, but for some reason Felix’s comment isn’t enough to cheer him up. He looks at Jeongin, and their eyes meet. The younger seems still awestruck, his mouth slightly open. Hyunjin waits for him to say something.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs after what seems like an eternity, but has only been ten seconds.

The way he says it is so genuine that Hyunjin’s breath catches. Suddenly it’s only the two of them, like the whole room disappeared and nothing else exists but Jeongin’s eyes, full of wonder and of something else, a feeling Hyunjin doesn’t recognize.

And then he starts breathing again, and the moment is gone. He smiles and says thanks, but he’s still a bit disorientated by what just happened.

Thankfully, none of his friends seem to have noticed. And just after, a very excited Jisung runs to greet them, his black hair a mess full of fake snow and still wearing his Gryffindor uniform. He radiates energy, and his accident on the Quidditch field seems long forgotten.

“Guys! You’re here!”

Behind him follows Minho, who appears to be calmer, but there is a spark in his eyes that proves he is just as excited as Jisung. The two of them aren’t dressed up yet, having probably just finished the last preparations.

“Jisung, are you feeling better?” asks Hyunjin. He hasn’t seen him since two days before, when he was still laying on a bed in visible pain.

“Yes, don’t worry” he assures. “Madam Pomfrey’s potion was really efficient, I was able to go out of the infirmary yesterday morning and I’m doing okay.”

Hyunjin nods, reassured. He hadn’t been able to see him in the hallways and was worried about his health. They still don’t have news about the postponed Quidditch match, so it will most likely take place in January.

“Hyunjin, you dyed your hair! It looks so good,” remarks Minho. “And I love your shirt. Yours too, Chan. In fact, all of you are really pretty.”

“You’re all so handsome!” whines Jisung. “I need to get back to my room to get changed, but Chloë needed help with the amplifying spells for the instruments. I’m going to miss the opening dance!”

“You’re not going to miss anything,” groans Minho, rolling his eyes. “We’re a bit behind the schedule, but don’t worry, it won’t start without us. At least I hope so. I didn’t spend three hours working my ass off to hang lights everywhere only for them to start the party without me.”

“You didn’t do anything except raising your wand and muttering spells so they would hang themselves up alone,” protests Jisung.

“That’s beyond the point. Anyway, we’ll be right back guys!”

Minho grabs Jisung’s wrist and waves with his other hand, before the two of them disappear behind the open doors of the Great Hall.

“I’m glad he’s feeling better,” says Hyunjin, heaving a relieved sigh. “On Tuesday, I was afraid he wouldn’t be able to attend the ball.”

“He’s worked so hard for this, it’s a good thing he was able to participate in the organization on the D-day,” approves Seungmin. “It’s a pity the weather was so bad during the Quidditch match, when we could’ve had a weather like today…”

The night has fallen by now, but the sun was shining brightly all day, with no rain in sight. If only the teachers had decided to postpone the match, Jisung’s injuries could’ve been avoided, saving him a great deal of pain.

“What matters is that Jisung is okay,” says Chan. “Thankfully it was nothing that a potion couldn’t heal, otherwise I’m sure his parents would’ve said something to McGonagall.”

They start to chat after that, waiting for the two boys to return. More and more students are arriving by little groups, filling the room until there is almost no space to move. It’s starting to get incredibly hot in there. All six of them are huddled next to a giant Christmas tree, trying to distance themselves from the others so that Jisung and Minho will spot them more easily when they get back, but there is so much people it is impossible to be completely apart.

Hyunjin doesn’t mind being in a crowd, but he can feel Jeongin shifting uncomfortably next to him. Before he can think too much about it, he grabs his hand, intertwining their fingers and squeezing it softly to make him know he was here if needed. Jeongin squeezes back, and he hears him breathe in a more relaxed way.

“I hope they will remove the tables once we’re done eating,” he says, because there’s no way they can stay like this all night long, pressed against each other.

“Are you feeling okay?” asks Felix, and he thinks the question is directed to him until he sees the eyes of the blonde boy on Jeongin. The Ravenclaw nods, but he seems unsure. Felix doesn’t seem convinced, and he looks at him with an apologetic look on his face.

Minho and Jisung come back at this moment, and Hyunjin is momentarily distracted as he takes into account their new look. “Wooow!” says Chan excitedly. “You guys have matching outfits!”

“All the members of the organizing committee are required to wear those, it’s not like we chose it,” dismisses Minho with disdain.

They’re both wearing white turtlenecks and pants, and their white jackets are adorned with pearls and intricate embroidered patterns of snowflakes. Jisung also has a dangling silver earring on his left hear while Minho chose not to wear any. But both of them have makeup on, light eyeshadow and eyeliner. They look absolutely stunning.

“Now that we’re all reunited, why don’t we get something to eat?” suggests Felix. “I’m starving!”

“Me too,” pipes Eric, and they head towards the buffet. Hyunjin himself must admit he can hear his empty stomach growling. He’s still holding Jeongin’s hand though, and he looks at him to make sure he’s okay. The younger boy nods. Hyunjin still doesn’t let go, and he draws circles with his thumb in the palm of his hand in an attempt to soothe him a bit.

There’s an enormous amount of food piled up on the tables. Felix lets out a mouse squeak and him and Jisung immediately starts to take all they can in their arms, sweet and savory alike, pastries and slices of pizza and tiny sausages on cocktail sticks and fruits.

“You know there’ll be enough food for everyone, right?” jokes Chan.

Felix is too busy munching a ham sandwich to listen to him. “Who cooked all this?” exclaims Jeongin, visibly feeling a bit better than earlier. “It must’ve taken so long!”

Since house elves are no longer working at Hogwarts, they found replacements for them, a dozen of cooks taking turns during the week to satisfy the appetite of hundreds of students. But there’s no way they could’ve prepared all this for tonight.

“They hired extras especially for the ball,” answers Jisung proudly, like he hired them himself. “They really did their best so that the ball would be the best time for everyone. In fact, we all did a great job. It wasn’t easy, especially considering the short notice, but I think we did pretty well. The whole committee worked so hard to find a band, to decorate the hall, to find the outfits for us… Alice did that, by the way, aren’t they amazing? They designed it all by themselves, and then proceeded to sew them! And Jiwoo took care of the snowflakes on the floor.”

He points to the ground, and Hyunjin hadn’t noticed it before, but there’s a complex design of snowflakes engraved on the tiled floor, giving off a soft blue light.

“Minho hanged the lights on the wall, and he was the one who thought of using purple colors for the lighting!” Jisung continues excitedly. “Mad chose the food with Norah, and we all helped planning the evening, of course. Everyone really gave their best to have a successful night. And… Sorry, do I talk too much?” he worries suddenly, conscious of all the eyes fixed on him.

Minho shakes his head. “What you did was pretty impressive too, Hannie! Without you, we wouldn’t have a band in the first place.” He smiles at him, a fond look on his face. Hyunjin really doesn’t get him. One second he’s sarcastic and right after he says something genuine and caring. Is something going on with Jisung, or does he act like this with everyone? He doesn’t know him enough yet to tell. In their friend group, the one he’s the closest to is Jeongin, and then… Maybe Felix. Felix is like an open book, making it easier to befriend him, while Minho is hard to decipher.

Jisung blushes at Minho’s compliment and looks away. “It’s nothing…” he mumbles. “I just asked my brother if, by any chance, him and his friends were up to play tonight.”

“Your brother is in a band?” exclaims Seungmin, astonished. “That’s so cool!”

Jisung smiles, visibly embarrassed. “He plays the bass, and with some other musician friends they started to meet to play together, and they even composed some original songs… They were six originally, hence the name of the band, but one member moved away, and they didn’t stay in touch.”

“Dude, that’s awesome. I’d love to play an instrument, but I don’t really have the time,” sighs Chan. “I’m already busy with all the work I have to do for school.”

“I play the piano a bit, but that’s all,” adds Felix. “People who can play instruments impress me so much. The patience and the dedication they must have to master it, it’s really inspiring.”

“I’d love to hear you play the piano!” smiles Seungmin, and they lace their hands together. “I tried to practice it myself, but I’m still a beginner.”

“It would be my pleasure to help you!”

“I play the guitar, but I’m nowhere near as good as my brother is,” laughs Jisung. “And you’ll hear, his voice always gives me the chills when he sings. There’s nothing he can’t do, he’s a literal genius. He can play the bass and the guitar, he speaks two languages, has a beautiful voice, and on top of that he writes lyrics for the band. He’s incredible.”

Jisung looks dreamily in direction of the stage. It’s obvious that he has a lot of respect for his brother, it’s touching to see.

As if on cue, five boys suddenly step on the stage and stand behind each instrument. One of the two guitarists take the mic and shouts, so loudly Hyunjin winces a bit: “Hello everyone! I hope you’re having a great time tonight!”

A chorus of cheers and whistles answers him, and he smiles widely. “I’m Sungjin, and this is Day6 playing! Welcome to Hogwarts’ first Christmas ball! We’re actually very familiar with this castle, as we were students here not so long ago… First of all, I would like to thank the teachers for allowing us to come, especially the headmistress, Minerva McGonagall!”

His enthusiasm is contagious, and Hyunjin starts shouting with the others. He let go of Jeongin’s hand to applaud, and immediately misses the warmth on his skin. But wouldn’t it be a bit weird if they held hands during a concert? Hyunjin has nothing against physical affection, it’s even how he shows his love for his friends, but it’s not really the moment. Besides, Jeongin didn’t strike him as the tactile type, and he doesn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable by investing his personal space.

“I hope you enjoyed the meal, because now it’s time to dance!”

The tables suddenly vanish, and Felix throws a smug smile to Eric, who was about to grab a muffin, because he still has his stock of food in his arms. Eric sighs. The drummer starts playing an upbeat rhythm, quickly joined by the other instruments.

“Which one is your brother?” asks Hyunjin to Jisung, curious.

He points to the guy on the left side of the stage, with brown hair and a black tee-shirt. “Here’s Younghyun, and next to him is Jae. The one who spoke into the mic is Sungjin, as he said, and then the drummer’s Dowoon and the keyboardist’s Wonpil.”

Hyunjin can’t really see the features of Jisung’s brother, and therefore determine if they really look alike, but he agrees that his vocals are heavenly. They’re playing a song he never heard before, and no one else seem to know the lyrics to it, except Jisung, so he guesses it must be one of their own compositions. Either way, it’s really good. He’s tapping his feet and clapping in his hands, and he feels amazing. These last days he was a bit down, but right now all his tiredness is forgotten and he just wants to enjoy the concert.

After this song, they start playing the first notes of a very popular hit from last summer, and everyone cheers. This time, this entire hall is screaming the lyrics, Hyunjin included.

After this, he loses count of all the songs, too busy dancing and singing and cheering. The room is hot, but with the tables gone they have more space to actually move, and he only occasionally brushes Jeongin’s and Chan’s arms, who are on each side of him. He even finds himself screaming lyrics from a song that he doesn’t actually know, just because the chorus is repetitive and he gets it quickly.

He’s kept his drink in his hand, and the beverage inside is fizzy and sweet and his head is light and he’s starting to think that maybe parties aren’t that bad. This band is so, so good. They’re energic and talented, vibrant and free. Hyunjin wishes he could stay like this forever, bobbing his head to the rhythm with no other concerns that trying not to hit the people close to him with his movements. For once he’s not overthinking about everything in his life, his future or his fear of failing his exams or the fact that after this year he’ll be separated from his best friends. He drowns into the music, lets his body feels the bass and forgets everything else. Dancing has always been a way for him to escape his problems, and even if he’s not performing a detailed choreography, it’s enough for him to feel euphoric.

He doesn’t know for how long he stays like this, but at some point someone tugs at his sleeve and he opens his eyes to see Jeongin, a look of distress on his face. All the joy he was feeling suddenly vanishes, leaving only worry.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, almost screaming to make sure he hears him over the loud music.

“I’m not feeling well, I’m going outside for a bit,” answers Jeongin in his ear.

Hyunjin doesn’t have to think for long. “I’m going with you.”

Jeongin hesitates, then nods and grabs his wrist before diving in the crowd, leaving Hyunjin give a thumbs up to Chan to let him know they’ll be okay. They almost lose each other between all the other students, but Jeongin’s holding him tightly, and they make it together in the hallway.

Once they’re outside in the cloistered garden with the doors closed behind them, all the sound is suddenly muffled, leading to a drastic change of atmosphere. The fresh air is like a slap in the face, leading Hyunjin to repress a shiver and regretting not having a coat. It’s like he’s been woken up from a dream suddenly, all the excitation dying down.

“Thank you,” says Jeongin, who leans on a pillar, closing his eyes. He’s taking deep breaths now, and Hyunjin rubs circles on his back, hoping that it will help him relax a bit.

“What’s the matter, Innie?” he whispers, biting his lip. Seeing his friend in this state is heartbreaking. He wishes he could help, but he doesn’t even know what the problem is.

While waiting for Jeongin to catch his breath, he looks around and notice they’re not the only ones who chose to distance himself from the party a bit. In fact, they’re like a dozen students outside, huddled in little groups. He recognizes two Slytherin boys in the same year as him, laughing with some Hufflepuff girl he’s sure he’s seen before, but doesn’t know the name of. He has no idea what time it is. The teachers didn’t specify a curfew for the night, but he guesses they won’t let them party until dawn. They probably still have a few hours left, though.

“I don’t know, it’s just… The heat, the music, the people, it was starting to be a bit too much, my head is hurting,” laughs Jeongin bitterly. “I’m sorry for ruining your night.”

“You’re not ruining anything, bub,” assures Hyunjin. “Take all the time you need to recover, I’m here.”

“But you will catch a cold with your outfit…”

“I’m tougher than I look, don’t worry. Do you want to drink something? I can go fetch some water.”

“No, I’m… I’m good. But thank you.”

They stay silent for a few moments, and then Jeongin talks again in a low voice, almost as if he’s talking to himself only.

“I didn’t know it was like that… I feel like it’s smothering me.”

The confession surprises Hyunjin, but he gets it. Even himself, who has no problem being in a crowd, was feeling a bit cramped.

“I know, it can be really stressing being so close to other people, especially when it’s getting so hot like this. When you feel overwhelmed it’s better to step aside a bit to catch your breath. We can go back when you feel better.”

To his surprise, Jeongin shakes his head. “I’m not talking about the party. Although it can apply to it to.”

“Well… What are you talking about, then?”

Jeongin sighs and escapes Hyunjin’s touch to sit on the ground, his back against the wall. Hyunjin joins him, because it would be awkward to keep talking to him while standing. For a few minutes, Jeongin stays silent, and then he mutters something the Slytherin doesn’t quite catch. “I’m sorry, what?”

“No, I just… I really wanted to enjoy myself tonight and not think about everything going on in my life right now, but I guess my brain can’t stand being happy just for one evening. And I’m so lame I can’t even pretend to be happy, I have to ruin the mood by complaining.”

He laughs again, a dry and humorless laugh that is so not like him that Hyunjin feels his heart clench in his chest. He’s so used to the younger smiling constantly; he wants nothing else but to bring back the smile on his face. But as much as he hates seeing his friends sad, he hates even more hearing them talk like they’re failing him by being sad. He’s so eager to tell him that it doesn’t matter, to reassure him, that the words tumble out of his mouth before he can organize them into a coherent sentence.

“Don’t ever think that you’re ruining our fun by being sad. You’re… You’re so precious, Innie, and I never want to see you sad, but that doesn’t mean that when it happens you can’t come to me. Of course I hate seeing the people I care about feeling down, but if I can help in any way, I will, and I’d rather know you’re sad to help you than you hiding it and being on your own with your thoughts. Don’t ever feel like you’re a burden or something because you can’t keep a smile on your face all the time. You’re only human, Jeongin, it’s normal to feel down, to have times where you doubt yourself. No one is expecting you to be happy 24/7, and no one will think you’re ruining the mood by talking about what’s wrong.”

Jeongin raises his head to look at Hyunjin, and he sees his eyes shining like he’s on the verge of tears. He has the urge to wipe down his tears, to hug him so tight he’ll never feel this way again. But Hyunjin can only do so much, and he can’t magically make Jeongin’s sadness disappear.

“I… I feel like everyone’s so used to see me smile, that if I don’t, they’ll feel down too… I always do my best to smile all the time to hide my worries, because I want to help others… If the one who’s supposed to comfort them is sad, then who is going to comfort them?”

“And who is going to comfort you? You’re not responsible for other people’s happiness. You can do your best to help, but you’re allowed to have your own emotions too. I’m sure your other friends would agree with me.”

“But everyone thinks it’s so strange when I’m not smiling… I… I just feel like they would be disappointed if I didn’t.”

His voice is so small Hyunjin wants to protect him from everything bad. “Innie… You’re one of the most cheerful people I know. You’re always here to lift up my mood with your encouraging words and your natural enthusiasm. I know that whenever I’m feeling down, you’ll be here for me, just like when you showed me how you could turn into a fox that other night. I’m so grateful to have you in my life, even if we’ve… If we haven’t known each other for long. I think time doesn’t matter, that even if it’s been only two months, I can say I want you by my side for a very long time. You bring happiness around you, and that is such a valuable quality. But you know, it’s okay to rely on others when it’s your turn to be in a bad mood. You give so much joy to people you deserve some in return. For once, let me be that person who brings happiness, into your life this time. That’s what friends are for.”

A lonely tear rolls down Jeongin’s cheek. He chokes on a sob, and Hyunjin is wrapping his arms around him in an instant, whispering calming words in his ears and stroking the younger’s hair. He must feel really bad to let himself cry like this, given the emotional boundaries he has apparently set down for himself.

“You already bring so much happiness in my life,” he sobs. “I don’t… You… I would never…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, crying silently on Hyunjin’s shoulder. The older looks around, but no one is paying attention to them. Good, because otherwise he’d be down to throw a spell on everyone judging them.

They stay enlaced together for a few moments, before he detaches himself from Hyunjin’s embrace and wipes his tears vehemently. “It’s-it’s okay. I’m okay. Please forget you ever saw me like this.”

“Jeongin, it’s not bad to cry, it happens to everyone and…”

“Please,” interrupts the other. “Just… Forget about it.” He hesitates, then adds: “Thank you for what you said. It means a lot to me. Can we just… Go back to the party, now?”

Hyunjin would like to say something else, but he feels like he won’t be able to change his mind. He still doesn’t know why Jeongin was sad in the first place, but he can’t ask now. The Ravenclaw is already standing up, waiting for Hyunjin to join him so they can go back inside. The moment of vulnerability is gone, Jeongin smiling like nothing happened. Only the red circle around his eyes can testify that minutes ago he was still crying.

“If that’s what you want…”

On the way back, they don’t exchange a word, Jeongin looking stubbornly in front of him, Hyunjin throwing side glances at him to make sure he’s okay.

They hear the bass boom from outside the Great Hall. Apparently, the atmosphere inside is full of energy once again. But when they enter, the song dies suddenly, and one of the singers – Jae, if Hyunjin remembers well– takes the mic to call for a break.

“We’ll play something softer after that, I promise!” he screams before waving at the crowd and exiting the stage. Hyunjin and Jeongin join the others, who seem relieved to see them. Except for Felix and Eric, who, placed a bit ahead of the others, didn’t notice they were gone with everyone around them.

“Is everything okay?” asks Chan, looking concerned, and Jeongin smiles widely and nod. If Hyunjin hadn’t been with him, he wouldn’t have noticed anything wrong with him. The others seem to be satisfied with his answer, and they move on to something else.

They take advantage of the break to eat a bit, the table having reappeared. The main topic of their discussion is, of course, the band.

“I really liked the song they played before this one, but I don’t know its name…” begins Seungmin. “Well, all the songs were awesome, they’re really good.”

Jisung’s smile could light up an entire city. “I’ll tell Younghyun! He was a bit stressed about playing in front of students, he didn’t know if they would like their style.”

“Are you kidding? I love it! Meaningful lyrics and catchy rhythms, I don’t need more.”

“I agree, you can be proud of your brother, he did an amazing job,” adds Felix, who’s always here when it’s about complimenting someone. “You say he actually wrote the lyrics? Man, that’s fucking cool!”

Jisung is beaming now. “I hope one day, I’ll be able to write songs like him! I mean, I’m trying, but they’re not on his level yet.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself, Sungie, I’ve read some of the texts you wrote and they’re really moving, you’re able to convey emotions through your writing and that’s what’s most important,” assures Eric.

“You write?” exclaims Chan. “That’s so cool, me too! We should work together some time, see what we can do.”

“I’ll love that!”

At this point, Hyunjin escapes the conversation for a moment to try to find something to eat. The amount of food on the table has significantly decreased, but he manages to grab the last slice of cheesecake available and to shove it in his mouth immediately. He’s still feeling a bit down after Jeongin’s sudden outburst, wondering what he can do to cheer him up.

Hyunjin is a very sensitive person, and empathic as well. He can’t stand the thought of Jeongin pretending to be fine when he’s seen what’s really going on in his head. He may not know what the problem is, but that doesn’t mean he can’t do his best to help him take his mind off things.

Food is always a good solution, right? He looks at the table, chooses a chocolate chip cookie and goes to give it to the Ravenclaw, a small smile on his lips. Jeongin looks surprised by the attention, but he accepts it nevertheless, thanking him profusely. He looks genuinely better than before, Hyunjin can tell.

He’s about to say something when suddenly the atmosphere changes radically. The lights hanged on the wall turn a darker shade of purple, and the band (he hasn’t paid attention, but they’re back on stage already) starts playing a slow song.

“It’s a slow dance!” screams someone behind Hyunjin. “Everyone, get your girl!”

A stream of laughter answers him, but Hyunjin feels his chest tighten. He sees Seungmin and Felix turning to each other, Eric playfully wiggling his eyebrows at Chan, and Jisung and Minho eyeing each other suspiciously. Everyone is the room pairs up with someone, and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Hyunjin… Do you want to dance with me?” asks Jeongin behind him, a bit shy for some reason, and Hyunjin is so relieved he could kiss him. Well, not kiss-kiss, but you get the idea.

“I do,” he says, and takes the hand Jeongin offers him. His hands are warm and soft, just like when Hyunjin were holding them earlier, and he’s glad for the physical contact.

They start dancing, not so close to each other, and as they sway, Hyunjin can see Minho and Jisung still five feet apart, none of them wanting to make the first move. He’s starting to have a better idea of what their relationship is like. From what Jeongin told him and what he sees, he’s deduced that Minho likes Jisung. Except, Minho being Minho, he’s way too proud to admit it, and would rather act indifferent and pretend his flirting is meaningless than confessing. And Jisung has, apparently, a big crush on Minho as well, but given the older’s apparent lack of interest, he has resigned to be his friend.

“They’re really oblivious, aren’t they?” chuckles Hyunjin.

Jeongin frowns, tilting his head in visible confusion.

“Minho and Jisung. They’re mutually pining on each other, but they don’t even realize it.”

“Oh, right… They’re not the only oblivious people I know,” snorts Jeongin, letting his eyes drift on the sea of people surrounding them.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

Hyunjin is tempted to insist, but he feels that tonight, he has trouble understanding Jeongin. It’s like there’s something the younger isn’t telling him that he should know about. He doesn’t like it. Usually, they share a special connection, like they can get what the other thinks without having to communicate.

“Are you feeling better?” he asks at least, not wanting to stay silent.

“Yes, thanks to you.” Jeongin’s voice is so sincere that Hyunjin feels a warm feeling bloom in his chest. He doesn’t know what it is, but it’s nice.

“Oh. I’m glad, then.”

As the song goes on, they get closer and closer, Hyunjin putting his arms around Jeongin and resting his head on his shoulder. Their bodies fit together; he notices. He closes his eyes and listens to the lyrics of the song.

_You’re such a soft-hearted person_   
_Every time you are silently in pain_   
_Even if I have to give my all_   
_I want to make you smile again_

He can’t help but smile. He thinks of Jeongin, how he would do everything to bring back the smile on his face. Instinctively, he hugs the younger tighter.

_I want to cry for you_   
_I want to hurt instead of you_   
_I don’t want any scars in your heart_   
_Ever again_

“Hyunjin?”

Jeongin’s voice is soft. Hyunjin hums in response, not wanting to open his eyes, just wanting to enjoy the moment a little bit more.

“Have you ever been in love?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're still enjoying this !! at least I enjoy writing it jdhfg ♡
> 
> also I plan on writing eight chapters for this fic, so there's still three chapters left (but they'll be around 7k words so don't worry, I'm gonna make this burn reaaaally slooow)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ball, part 2 + even more deep talks :D

“Have you ever been in love?”

Hyunjin’s heart misses a bit. The question takes him by surprise, and his first reflex is to detach himself from Jeongin to look at him, brow furrowed. They completely stop dancing, two immobile figures in the middle of swaying couples on a dancefloor. The youngest is looking away, his cheeks a deep shade of red, visible even with the low luminosity.

“Where is this coming from…?” laughs Hyunjin, no sure of where this is going. “Is the song making you emotional?”

“I… Can you just answer the question?”

His tone is pleading, and Hyunjin stops joking for a moment and forces himself to seriously think about it.

Has he ever been in love? It’s not something he usually thinks about, and he can’t think of an answer straight away. Around him, the other students keep moving slowly, not noticing that two boys just stopped dancing to stare at each other, one of them red as a tomato and the other completely lost.

Being in love and romance are two concepts Hyunjin always had trouble grasping. He gets the gist of it, of course, because it’s impossible to live without being reminded everyday of how beautiful it is to love someone and to be loved in return, whether it is by songs or movies or books or parents, but he doesn’t think he has ever experienced it, at least not in the way portrayed by society. He thinks that the term is a bit misleading anyway, because doesn’t love take a lot of forms? Why would there be a kind of love above all of the others? Why would romance be the epitome of human relationships, when the feeling is the same as friendship?

Of course, he’s not an idiot, he understands there’s a difference between the platonic love you feel for your friends and romantic love for someone. But platonic love is so easy to get, while romantic love seems tricky and complex, and he doesn’t understand what’s so appealing about the latter. Even when he tries to picture in his mind what it would feel like, he can’t imagine it. He’s heard Seungmin talk about Felix for months, he could probably write down all the emotions he’s been through, all the butterflies in the stomach and the heart beating faster and the head in the clouds and yet, he remains as clueless as ever. It’s like watching someone do bungee-jumping. You can imagine how it would feel like, but it’s never the same as doing it yourself.

Hyunjin is almost sure he’s never felt this kind of love. He just never felt that way about anyone. He never even had crushes, even if last year he often found himself searching this girl named Sana in the hallways in the hope of crossing her path, because they had a lot of interests in common and he found her interesting. But even if he told his friends he had a crush on her, thinking of it now, it was just a friendly interest.

He’s never been in love. And sure, he’s asked himself if he was really normal sometimes, maybe even tried to convince himself Sana was a crush so he could relate to what his friends said, but now that he’s older, he isn’t ashamed of it anymore. He can’t relate to what his friends say, and so what? They can’t relate to being a Muggle either, and they don’t seem disturbed by it. He’s still young, he still has time to experience a lot of things, and if he doesn’t, then what’s wrong? He’s plenty happy with his life as it is.  
So why is he reluctant to answer Jeongin now? Why can’t he bring himself to say “no”? What does he want him to believe? It should be a simple response, and yet he finds himself hesitating.

“…No” he finally says, crossing his arms.

The song is getting to an end now, and the couples around them disentangle themselves, some of them kissing, others smiling shyly. Seungmin and Felix are hugging now, Chan and Eric talking, and Minho and Jisung, who apparently ended up dancing together, are teasing each other and playfully fighting. Hyunjin wants to scream at them to stop beating around the bush and kiss, but he has his own situation to deal with and looks back to his friend.

Jeongin nods slowly, his eyes still looking everywhere but at Hyunjin. He’s not that much smaller than him, notes the oldest.

“Why?” asks Hyunjin once again, poking Jeongin’s cheek.

“No, I just… I’m just confused.”

“About love?”

The evening is taking an unpredictable turn of events. Hyunjin thought he would come here to have a good time with his friends, dance and forget about everything, and for the second time of the night he finds himself having a conversation way too deep for a high school party. He doesn’t really mind, because he’s always happy to be with Jeongin, and but he’s convinced now that the boy is hiding something from him, and that it affects him.

From the beginning of the evening there’s been something off about him, and it’s not just the anxiety of being in a crowd that causes it. There’s something else, and Hyunjin wants to help him. This night is supposed to relieve stress and to allow them to ease off on the pressure, he won’t accept his friends being sad on his watch. Also, tomorrow, they’ll be back to their families for Christmas, which means they won’t see each other for two weeks. Hyunjin is going to miss him. He’s used to seeing the younger boy almost every day now.

“I just don’t know what it’s like,” adds Jeongin, thoughtful.

It’s… Not the explanation Hyunjin expected.

“Can’t you, uh, ask Minho? He’s in love with Jisung, isn’t he?”

He isn’t even sure of that, but Jeongin sighs, confirming his doubts. “He doesn’t talk much about it, even if I’m his best friend. I think he’s in denial. But how am I supposed to know what love feels like if he doesn’t tell me?”

“Why do you want to know what it feels like?”

“To determine if I’m in love or not!”

Hyunjin’s eyes widen, and he suddenly feels a bit weird at the thought of Jeongin with someone else. He never pictured himself as the possessive kind, but for some reason he doesn’t want Jeongin to leave him, not when they just started to know each other pretty well. It’s stupid, but he was grateful to have someone like him by his side, someone he could relate to, who never talked about crushing on anyone. He loves Seungmin and Chan with every fiber of his being, but sometimes hearing them talk about a feeling so distant to him is getting tiring. He enjoyed that for once, he wasn’t feeling like the oddly one out.

“Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you on that…” he laughs humorlessly. For some reason, he feels a bit empty inside now. “I never dated anyone, never even crushed on someone. I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong guy.”

“It doesn’t matter. I… I’m pretty sure I like someone. It might not be love yet, but I think it’s pretty close.”

Jeongin looks disturbed by his own statement, like he’s tasting how it feels to say it out loud for the first time. Like he isn’t sure, but he’s getting used to the idea.

Hyunjin doesn’t know what to say. What are you supposed to do in this situation? Congratulate? Applause? Cheer? In the end, he settles for asking him the question that weighs on his heart.

“With who?”

Jeongin smiles softly, still not meeting Hyunjin’s eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it here.”

It’s true that the setting isn’t the best. They’re surrounded by loud students dancing to some famous pop song, and they can barely hear each other. The only reason they’re even able to communicate is because they’re just centimeters apart. Hyunjin can see every detail of Jeongin’s face, bathed in a purple lightning, his long eyes and high cheekbones and his chapped lips.

“Do you want to go outside?” he suggests, because he’s too curious to let the subject drop like that. Jeongin looks panicked for a second.

“But you will miss the party again…”

“I don’t care, you started talking about it, now I want to know more.” It’s not false, he wants to know who this mysterious person is, and he also wants to know why he feels so strange. He hopes talking about it will dissipate his uneasiness. He sure can’t go back to dancing now, because he knows he will be too focused on this issue to really enjoy it.

“Okay. I guess you’re right. Come with me.”

For the second time, they leave the ball behind them, but this time, they don’t go outside in the garden. “It’s too cold,” explains Jeongin, “I don’t want to freeze to death.”

Instead, the Ravenclaw choose to sit at the top of the stairs nearby, inviting Hyunjin to follow him. The stairs lead to the classrooms, so it’s unlikely someone will disturb them.

“So, what’s this all about?” asks Hyunjin finally once they’re settled. Thankfully, the hallways are warm. He has the impression that this conversation isn’t going to be easy, so he might as well be comfortable. “Why did you start talking about love all of a sudden?”

“I just… I had been thinking about it for some time, but I could never bring myself to talk about it. I was afraid, and to be honest I wanted to be sure of myself before telling anyone. But tonight, I felt … I felt like it was obvious. I had no doubts left. And I had to tell you because otherwise it would eat me up from inside. I didn’t know how to start, that’s why I asked you this.”

Hyunjin blinks once, twice, but even after a few seconds of trying to process Jeongin’s words, they still don’t make any sense to him.

“You wanted to talk to love about me?”

“I’m sure now. I don’t want to keep it to myself. You deserve… You deserve to know.”

“What do I deserve to know?”

Jeongin turns to face him, his face a mix of fear and hope.

“You really have no idea?”

“Innie, I’m doing my best to follow, but I’m so lost and I don’t understand where this is going. I thought you liked someone.”

“I do like someone.”

“Then who is it?” says Hyunjin, frustrated. This whole discussion feels like two walls trying to communicate.

Jeongin heaves a big sigh.

“It’s you, idiot. I like you.”

Hyunjin freezes. He’s so taken aback by the answer he keeps his mouth open, the words his was about to say dying on his lips. Like. He likes him. I like you. Jeongin likes him.

“But… How?” is all he manages to say, his brain having ceased to function.

Apparently, it’s not the answer Jeongin expected, considering the look of hurt in his eyes. Hyunjin immediately regrets his reaction. He gets the sudden urge to go back in time and to say something else, something that wouldn’t make Jeongin look so miserable, but time machine hasn’t been invented yet and time-turners wouldn’t work and there’s no way he can change what he just said. Everything is happening so quickly, he feels his heart racing in his chest and he has the disagreeable impression that he’s going to throw up.

“I-I mean… I don’t… I… I’m sorry, I…” he stutters, unable to articulate a coherent sentence.

“I don’t expect you to answer or anything,” adds Jeongin, chuckling softly. “I just wanted to tell you because… Yeah. Tonight, when I saw you, I realized how deep my feelings were and how it wouldn’t be fair to keep them from you. And some part of me thought, maybe it’s going to be reciprocated. But it doesn’t matter if you don’t like me back. It will pass.”

 _It will pass._ Hyunjin’s brain suddenly connects itself back and he takes in the full measure of the situation. Jeongin likes him.

Hyunjin feels that this is a kind of joke the universe is playing on him. Like, karma for every offer he turned down. After so much love confessions, after so much admirers coming to him to ask him on a date, he’s gotten used to rejecting someone. An apologetic smile, a fake excuse, and boom, the person vanishes from his life. But he doesn’t want to reject Jeongin, and he doesn’t want Jeongin to vanish from his life. At the thought, a sudden fear takes over him. What if they can never be friends now? What if their relationship just ended because he’s stupid and doesn’t know how to react to feelings? What if he loses one of the few friends he has?

He knows there’s a much more important question, one that he’s afraid of answering: how does he feel about Jeongin?

He likes him a lot, of course. That, at least, is crystal clear. But is it as a friend, or as more than friends? He feels lost, but he doesn’t have the time to dwell on it too much, not when Jeongin is waiting for an answer.

“No, no, I’m sorry, I was just surprised, that’s all. I wasn’t expecting this. For… For how long have you known?”

Jeongin is playing with the hem of his pants, his eyes unfocused. Hyunjin wants to slap himself for being so insensitive and causing the younger to lose the bit of joy he had left. He may have no idea of what love feels like, but he understands how painful it must be to get rejected. Earlier he wanted to protect Jeongin from any pain, but now he’s the one hurting him, and he hates himself for that.

He hates himself for being this mess of intricate and complex feelings instead of knowing directly what his heart is trying to tell him. It’s easy when it’s people he doesn’t know, because he doesn’t have to think twice before telling them that he’s sorry, but he’s not interested. But he’s never had to deal with a situation like this, and he can’t think of an answer that satisfy him.

“I’m not sure. This… This is the first time I’ve ever felt that. At first, I didn’t know what it was, I thought I just really liked you as a friend. I was surprised myself, you know. The more and more we were getting to know each other, the more I wanted to be with you. I was looking forward to your texts, and every time we talked I just felt so good. You didn’t make it easier.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s painfully easy to fall for you, Hwang Hyunjin. People may only see your pretty face at first, but they don’t know how much they’re missing out by not knowing you. Because you’re as pretty inside as you’re outside, and you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

Hyunjin’s breath catches, and he blushes significantly. He’s used to compliments on his looks, and he hates that everyone only sees him as a pretty face and nothing else, but Jeongin doesn’t stop at his looks, on the contrary of all the people who came to ask him out over the past few years. Jeongin likes him for what he is, not for what he looks like. It’s the first time in the whole history of the love confessions he received that the person confessing actually learnt to know him before having any kind of feelings for him.

And Hyunjin must admit that it’s refreshing. Because people interested first by his face, then by his personality don’t interest him. He doesn’t see the point in dating them, and he can’t see himself hanging out with them. He can’t get over the fact that if he had looked differently, they maybe wouldn’t have been interested in the first place, and it doesn’t sit right with him.

Seeing that he isn’t answering, Jeongin keeps going, eyes still fixed on some point far away.

“I didn’t want to feel like this, because I was afraid I was going to lose you. But it’s a nice feeling, liking someone, so at the same time I don’t want to go back to how I was. It’s true, all the things people say about love. It feels amazing. And _ugh_ , I hate being cheesy like this. I thought I would get over it, that it was just a temporary thing, but when I saw you tonight, it just hit me full force. You were there with your blonde hair and your white laced shirt and the glitters around your eyes and I was like, _shit, I’m way too deep_. So yeah, I like you. And it’s fucking terrifying.”

“I don’t want you to be afraid,” murmurs Hyunjin, because he doesn’t know what else to say. Right now, he really, really wants to hug him.

“It just never happened to me before. I was doing fine on my own, and then you came into my life and turned everything upside down. Suddenly I ached to be by your side, I missed you when you weren’t here, and every moment with you made my heart flutter. My life has gotten so messy. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything, because I wasn’t lying when I said you bring me so much happiness. You do, and I’m grateful for you. If anything, I’m angry at myself for feeling this way instead of just appreciating being your friend.”

“You don’t control your emotions!” protests Hyunjin, desperate to remove the look of sadness on the younger’s face. On a sudden impulse, he cups Jeongin’s cheeks to make him look at him in the eyes. “L-listen, I may not be good with words, but I’m going to try expressing myself anyway. I’ve never been in love before, and I don’t know what it feels like, but what you describe… I-I feel things like that with you too. I don’t know what it means but I’m determined to find out. I just… I think I need some time. Can you wait for a bit? I know I shouldn’t ask so much of you, but I can’t give you an answer right now.”

Jeongin’s cheeks flushes a bright red.

“You- you feel things too when you’re with me?”

Hyunjin isn’t sure of himself, but now that he’s said it out loud, a bit of his internal conflict dies down and he can finally try to put a name on his emotions. He feels things when he’s with Jeongin. That, at least, he isn’t dumb enough to ignore it. It’s a bit different than when he’s with his friends, but does it really mean something? That’s another thing.

“I do… But I don’t know what it is, I’m sorry. It’s all so sudden for me, and all I know is I want to stay your friend no matter what, so can we be friends until I’m sure of what I feel?”

Jeongin looks conflicted, and Hyunjin can’t blame him.

“I understand if it’s easier for you to detach yourself from me,” he adds quickly. “I don’t want to give you hope for nothing. It’s just… I’m so confused. You took me by surprise, and before that I hadn’t really … Thought of it this way? But I wouldn’t tell you this if I wasn’t sure there was something there.”

“I’m confused too, I assure you,” sighs Jeongin. “You make me feel things I’ve never felt before. Why are feelings so complicated? Why do everyone else seem to have no problem dealing with them?”

“Oh, trust me, they have problems. People just don’t talk about it.”

“Well they should, because I feel like I’m the only one struggling. How do people even know they’re in love? Is there like, a guide with the symptoms listed so we can recognize them?”

“I’m not sure you can refer to them as symptoms,” smiles Hyunjin. “But I agree, it would be nice.”

They stay silent a few more seconds, and then Jeongin ask in a tiny voice: “Can I hug you?”

He doesn’t have to say anything else. The second after, Hyunjin wraps his arms around him for the second time of the evening and hugs him tightly. He’s still a bit dizzy after Jeongin’s sudden confession, but he’s sure of one thing: he wants to stay with him. He’s so comfortable with him, he doesn’t want to let go.

Then he hears Jeongin sniffles, and his heart break a little. Was this the reason why he was uneasy earlier? Because he had realized he liked Hyunjin? He suddenly remembers what he said about being scared of losing him, how he wanted to stop feeling like this.

“You’re never going to lose me, Innie,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry I can’t reciprocate your feelings right now. But no matter how you feel, I’m not going to leave you, I promise.”

Jeongin holds him tighter, and Hyunjin can’t help but notice how good he smells. He loves hugging in general, but he likes it even more with Jeongin for some reason.

“I-I thought maybe you wouldn’t want anything to do with me because you’d be repulsed by me or something…”

“Why would I be repulsed by you?”

“Because I had feelings for you… Maybe you wouldn’t want to be with me knowing how I felt about you.”

“I’m happy you feel that way about me. I’m not sure I deserve it, but it’s always nice to be loved, I think.”

“You deserve it so, so much. You’re funny and sensitive and kind and I can’t explain it, but just seeing you is enough to make my day and fill me with happiness.”

“Apparently I’m not enough, since it’s the second time you’re crying on my shoulder tonight,” jokes Hyunjin. Jeongin hits him on the back, and he laughs. If they can tease each other like this, it means they’re almost back to normal.

“Shut up! You have no idea how overwhelmed I was, suddenly realizing I had a crush on you! And I don’t like being in a crowd, and you just took my hand so I wouldn’t feel too anxious, and it was so natural for you. Like you could feel I was uneasy, when most people wouldn’t have noticed it. You’re always so considerate with the people you like, whether it’s me or Chan or Seungmin.”

Hyunjin wants to protest, say he’d do the same for everyone, but he has to admit he was watching Jeongin particularly. “I told you, I have something for you. I don’t know what it is, but… I can say I keep searching for your face whenever we’re with the others.”

Jeongin laughs, and Hyunjin can feel it resonate in its body, since they’re still hugging. “It’s because I’m pretty and you can’t get enough of me.”

“Yes, you’re the prettiest.”

“I- shut up!”

“For someone who’s supposed to like me, you tell me to shut up an excruciating amount of times. I’m going to think you don’t like it when I talk.”

“I’ve changed my mind. I do not like you anymore. You’re too annoying.”

They stop hugging, and Jeongin’s eyes are rimmed with red again, but a smile lights up his face. This time, it’s a real one, and Hyunjin is relieved. Happy Jeongin is back.

“I promise I’ll go back to you when I sorted out my feelings, okay?”

“Okay.” Jeongin nods. “And if… If you don’t like me back, please tell me quickly. I don’t want… To hope for something that will never happen.”

“Of course, Innie. I will.”

Hyunjin feels a bit better than earlier. He has the time to think about it, and to find out whatever his feelings mean. In the meantime, he’ll still have Jeongin as a friend.

“Shall we go back to the dance?” he asks, standing up and bowing in Jeongin’s direction. The younger smiles and takes his hand, standing up as well. They go down the stairs like this, still holding hands and both of them smiling.

*  
“Ah, you’re here! Where have you been?” asks Jisung when he spots them. The band apparently took another break, and their friends are in the same place as before, next to the tables, which have been refilled with sweets and small chocolates. They let go of each other’s hands, because they’d rather avoid questions.

“Innie, I got Delilah Bard as a special card in the chocolate frog, so I kept it for you since I know it’s the only one you don’t have!” exclaims Minho, handing him a small card with a witch who looks like she might die of boredom on it.

“Thank you so much!” His eyes sparkle as he takes the card and put it in his pocket, before hugging Minho. “We were just talking a bit. You know I don’t really like crowds, they make me anxious, so I wanted to get out a bit.”

“I should do the same, it’s insanely hot in here!” complains Chan, using a napkin to fan himself. “And I’m starting to get tired. We’ve been here for like, four hours?”

“That much?” says Felix, surprised. “It doesn’t feel like it. I feel like I just got here.”

“It’s past midnight,” informs Eric, the only one in their little friend group to have a watch – Hyunjin should really think of buying one. “I think the band’s only here until one am anyway. After that, it’s up to us whether we want to stay or go back to our rooms. I heard some Hufflepuff student has brought his own mixtapes to play, so the party will go on.”

“I don’t know, I kinda want to go back to my room,” hums Felix, repressing a yawn. “We can always stay together, but I don’t think I can keep dancing that much longer.”

“Me neither,” admits Seungmin.

Minho and Jisung exchanges a look. “Well,” starts Minho, “I think we’re going to stay. We’re part of the organization team anyway, so it would be weird if we left this early. And I don’t feel particularly tired.”

“Neither do I,” pipes Jisung. “But don’t worry about us, we can handle ourselves.”

“I’ll stay with Jisung and Minho,” says Eric.

All of them are looking at Jeongin and Hyunjin now. Right, they’re the only one who haven’t voiced their opinion yet. Either way, Hyunjin wants to stay with the youngest. He can’t imagine being separated from him after the discussion they just had. They exchange a look, and it’s like they understand each other without talking.

“We’re staying too,” nods Jeongin.

“Great! Now that it’s settled, I suggest we stay until the band leaves and then go the Gryffindor common room, what do you think?

Everyone agrees, and they can go back to enjoy the party.

The rest of the night happens in a blur. They laugh and dance, music booming around them, euphoria coursing through their bodies, and Hyunjin loses track of time. At one point, he’s crushing Jeongin into a hug, whispering something in his ear that he doesn’t really remember. He’s not drunk, he can’t be when the only drinks are non-alcoholic, but it’s like the atmosphere stripped him of the boundaries he usually set for himself, like he can finally be free. Like nothing is really real in this room with bright purple lights and music he doesn’t pay enough attention to to understand the lyrics. He’s with the people he likes the most on Earth, and everything is perfect. There’s a bubbly feeling in his chest that he can’t seem to get rid of. He’s happy. He can’t really explain why, but he is.

Later, when he’s finally in his bed, some glitters still around his eyes after all his efforts to wipe them off, he remembers what he wished at the beginning of the night. In the end, considering everything that happened, he can say without the doubt that he’ll remember it.

*

The following day is the last day of school of the year, and in the morning everyone is packing in order to go back to their families for Christmas once the classes are over. The students who can’t, or don’t want to are welcomed to stay in the castle, but most of them prefer to go home.

Hyunjin wakes up with his muscles sore and his eyelids heavy, and when he finally gathers enough energy to sit up, he sees Seungmin and Chan already busy tidying the room.

“Looks like Sleeping Beauty is awake,” comments Seungmin with a smirk, and Hyunjin is too tired to shoot back an answer. Instead, he yawns.

“How are you guys able to move around like this at this hour?” he groans, his voice hoarse from sleep.

He’s always been a late riser, but today it’s even worse than usual. Not surprising considering he went to bed at ass o’clock in the morning. He vaguely remembers Chan and Seungmin being already asleep when he got back, but he has no idea at what hour that was. Seriously, they should’ve cancelled classes after the ball. Hyunjin doesn’t think he can survive two hours of Transfiguration and three more hours of Charms.

“You should hurry up if you don’t want to be late,” informs Seungmin. Hyunjin has a slight impression of déjà vu. Probably because Seungmin tells him to hurry up every morning.

Thankfully, if the teachers decided to maintain the classes today, at least they moved them to start only at 10am, otherwise Hyunjin would be in trouble. After sighing and protesting, he gets up and grabs the suitcase under his bed. He started packing a bit yesterday afternoon, figuring he would be grateful to have less work to do this morning, and indeed he thanks Past Hyunjin for his foresight.

He’s a bit excited to come home. He misses his family, and his dog as well. He hasn’t seen them since the 1st of September, and though he’s used to it, it doesn’t make it less heartbreaking every time he waves them goodbye, knowing months will pass before he gets to see them again. He also looks forwards to visit his childhood friend Changbin, who attends a Muggle art school next to his hometown and plans on becoming a tattoo artist. They’re not as close as they were before, with Hyunjin being gone most of the year to a magical school and with preoccupations nowhere near as same as Changbin’s, but they’re still in touch nevertheless.

And maybe being away for two weeks will allow him to sort his feelings regarding Jeongin. He checked his phone this morning, but he didn’t have any texts from him. He remembers the youngest crying last night, the warmth of his body against him, shaking from the sobs, and his chest tighten. He doesn’t regret any of his actions from last night, but he hopes it is the same for Jeongin, that he isn’t ashamed of confessing. He decides to send him a message, a simple “hey :)” to show him that their relation is still the same.

He’s unsure about what he should do now. He asked for more time, but how is he supposed to proceed for his feelings to suddenly become clear? Will he have like, a sudden epiphany at some point? He’s already tired of thinking too much. He’s going to wait a bit, see if he miraculously knows what he feels suddenly.

Once he’s packed everything he needs for two weeks, Seungmin, Chan and him go downstairs to eat breakfast. They’re talking about last night, saying how great it was and how they can’t wait to be doing this again, but Hyunjin is too nervous to share their enthusiasm. Jeongin and him were fine yesterday when they parted to go to their rooms, but maybe he changed his mind during the night and decided it was too painful to be close to Hyunjin all the time.

When they enter the Great Hall, who lost the beautiful decorations from last night and went back to being a plain, giant dining room, although the Christmas Trees are still here, his eyes automatically go to the Ravenclaw table. He’s trying to spot Jeongin, to no avail, and he feels his chest deflate a bit, although he tries not to show it. He hasn’t been asked questions about last night, and he doesn’t intend on getting any. He’d like to keep this a secret for now.

It’s… weird, not sharing every thought he has with Seungmin or Chan. Hyunjin usually overshares a lot to them, and they can be sure to know every tiniest bit of event that happens to him. But just for once, he wants to keep something to him. Because his relationship with Jeongin is something he’s never experienced before, and he wants to see for himself what it will lead him to without someone explaining things to him. Even if he might take time, and it might be difficult, he wants to feel everything. Because it’s the first time he actually thinks he may be liking someone a little bit differently than he likes his friends.

They eat breakfast with two other Slytherins that Hyunjin doesn’t really know, but that Chan is friends with. It’s not that surprising considering he’s friends with half the school at this point. He’s a social butterfly, and Hyunjin gets a bit jealous sometimes, but he knows that no matter how many people he talks with, at the end of the day his two favorites are Seungmin and Hyunjin. There’s no use comparing themselves to others, because they have a privileged place in Chan’s heart.

They finish eating and still no Jeongin in sight, and no texts from him. Minho isn’t here either. Hyunjin is starting to be seriously worried right now. Sadly, he has no class in common with the Ravenclaws today.

As they go to the Transfiguration class, he trails in the hallways, throwing glances behind him to see if he spots a small silhouette with black hair and fox like eye. Nothing. He sighs and resigns himself to enduring the day without seeing him.

*

Later, when all the classes are finished, it’s finally time for all the students to gather their belongings and go to the platform to wait for the train that will bring them back to London. The castle is buzzing with energy, an atmosphere of excitation reigning over the school as everyone is carrying large suitcases, saying goodbyes to their friends who stay, and running all over the dorms to fetch for a scarf or a book they forgot. Finally, the holidays! It’s a relief, especially for the sixth and seventh years, who are constantly weighed down by all the assignments and mock exams they have every week.

Hyunjin is _tired_ , because of last night and because of all the classes of today, where he had to learn new spells and charms that were way too difficult for his poor exhausted brain. He can’t wait to get home and to meet with his parents again. His mother sent him a text a few hours ago to tell him she was going to cook his favorite meal for tonight, grilled cheese sandwiches, and his father sent him a picture of Kkami, his dog, saying he couldn’t wait for his return, and now he’s even more impatient to go home.

Chan is talking excitedly about all the food he’s going to eat during the holidays. The cooks at Hogwarts are excellent, but according to him they don’t hold a candle to his father. Seungmin planned to visit his grand-mother and practice the piano a bit more. Hyunjin wants to share their enthusiasm, but the fact that Jeongin is still M.I.A. worries him and though he wants to go home, he knows it will taint his joy if he doesn’t find the younger before leaving.

Once the three of them are waiting on the platform, he decides he can’t take it anymore. He has to find Jeongin before the train leaves.

“I’ll be back,” he whispers. “Can you watch over my things? I won’t be long.”

Chan and Seungmin look at him, surprised, but nod anyway. Hyunjin is grateful that they don’t question him. They probably sensed that something was wrong, but they know Hyunjin enough to know it’s not use trying to pry, that he will tell them if he’s ready.

He’s running now, his heart beating faster as he avoids students going in the opposite direction. He keeps an eye open for Jeongin or Minho, but they aren’t here. When he arrives in front of the Ravenclaw dorm, he’s panting loudly, and he earns a few stares from a group of third years.

And now he’s stuck, because students can only enter their own common room. So he has to wait, or to ask someone if by any chance they’ve seen the two boys he’s looking for. Hyunjin may be desperate, but he still has a shy, introverted personality, meaning he dreads this option. Thankfully, after a few minutes, he sees Minho going out of the Ravenclaw tower, carrying a bag and smiling softly at a girl next to him.

“Minho!” he calls, immensely relieved.

Minho’s eyes get wider when he sees him, and he freezes. Hyunjin comes closer, not sensing the boy’s sudden change of mood. The girl looks at them both before waving and leaving.

“Hyunjin,” says Minho. “How are you doing?”

“I-I’m great, but uh… Have you seen Jeongin? He wasn’t at breakfast or at lunch earlier.”

Minho seems conflicted for a bit. Finally, he sighs. “I think it would be best if you talked to him directly. He’s in his room.”

“But I can’t enter…”

“Wait, I can make you enter.”

He turns and waits as a voice tells him the riddle he’s supposed to solve if he wants to get inside. Hyunjin could never deal with something like that, his mind is always too full of thoughts to concentrate.

The door opens, and Minho gestures for Hyunjin to come in. “I’ve stayed with him all day, he’s going to be fine, don’t worry. Our room is the first at your right when you’re on the fourth floor. We share it with two other students, but they’ve already left.”

Hyunjin nods and start running again. He doesn’t even take the time to pause to admire how beautiful the Ravenclaw common room is, with its starry blue ceiling and the shelves full of books. He remembers how he first met Jeongin, how they bonded over his favorite book. Minho said he was going to be fine, but what was his problem? Did it have something to do with last night and his confession? It must be something serious if he couldn’t come out all day.

Hyunjin finally arrives in front of their door. Both their names are written on a tiny piece of paper, next to two others he doesn’t know. _Lee Minho. Yang Jeongin_. He lets his fingers hover over Jeongin’s name before knocking. “Innie? It’s me, Hyunjin.”

When he doesn’t hear an answer, he tries to enter. Surprisingly, it’s open. The first thing he sees when he looks inside is a small glimpse of orange fur buried into the blue sheets of the bed. A fox.

“Innie, it’s me…” he says tentatively, closing the door behind him and getting closer to the small animal.

The room is bigger than his own, probably because they’re only three to share it and here they’re four. He recognizes a book he lent to Jeongin two weeks ago on his nightstand and smiles softly. Then he sits on the bed, careful not to hurt the fox.

Jeongin raises his head, and when he sees Hyunjin he lets out a small cry. Hyunjin feels his heart break a little.

“I don’t know if it’s me you wanted to see… I know you told me that whenever you felt sad, or stressed, you’d turn into a fox. I’m sorry that you’re upset. I-I hope it’s not because of me.”

Jeongin shakes his head, and he feels a bit relieved. “I was worried because you weren’t at breakfast this morning, and you didn’t answer my texts. I was afraid I had done something wrong.”

He lets his eyes wander over the room, and notices something. He frowns. Every bed is neatly done, except Jeongin’s. His clothes and books are still on his desk, like he didn’t pack anything. Hyunjin knows the train won’t come before at least half an hour, but it’s still a short time to pack, especially if he was here all day. Why didn’t he do it before?

“Do you want help packing?” he offers. Maybe he was too affected to think about gathering his belongings.

But Jeongin suddenly transforms back into a human, startling the blonde boy. His eyes are dry, but red-rimmed. And before Hyunjin can say anything, he’s crushed into a tight hug. They stay like this a few minutes, before Jeongin retreats, a sad smile on his lips.

“I’m sorry you were worried about me. I spent almost all day in my Animagus form, listening to Minho rambling about whatever he could think of to distract me. I insisted he should go to class, but he was determined to stay with me.” Jeongin chuckles. “I love him so much. He’s the best friend you could hope for.”

“Innie… What happened?” asks Hyunjin, concern all over his face.

Jeongin looks at his feet, and fidgets with a small plush fox, probably the one Minho offered him. “My… My parents called this morning. My sister’s state has gotten worse. They spend all their days at the hospital with her, and they told me that under such circumstances, it would be better if I stayed at Hogwarts during the holidays.”

“Oh, no, baby…” It escapes his lips before he can think of it, but Jeongin doesn’t seem to mind. Or he’s too caught up in his own world to pay attention. Either way, Hyunjin feels really bad for him. He grabs his hand and squeezes it.

“It’s just… I understand they can’t really take care of me since they have to be with her, but I don’t want to be here, knowing that she’s really sick… I want to be by her side too. And… It may sound egoistical, but I don’t want to spend Christmas alone.”

“It’s not egoistical at all, Innie, it’s only natural you want to spend it with your family. I’m sorry to hear this, I hope she will get better...”

“I was looking forward to be back home after this semester. And I-I don’t even know who I will spend these two weeks with. Minho wanted to stay with me, but I forced him to leave.”

Hyunjin hates seeing his friends like this. He wishes he could do something to help, magically cure Jeongin’s sister, or magically make Jeongin’s parents change their mind about having their son home, but alas he can’t.

“I wish I could stay with you,” he whispers, but Jeongin shakes his head.

“You have your own family. I’ll deal with it, don’t worry. I’m not the only one staying.”

Hyunjin’s mind is desperately searching for a solution. When suddenly, something comes to him, and he squeezes Jeongin’s hand, his heartbeat speeding up.

“Wait, what if you came home with me?”

“I- what?”

The more he thinks about it, the more it seems like a fantastic idea.

“I’m sure my parents won’t mind; they love having guests! And my house is big enough for the two of us. You could meet my dog, and I could show you my neighborhood, and we would get to spend Christmas and New Year’s Eve together!”

Jeongin is looking at him with wide eyes, but then he deflates, sighing again.

“No, I can’t possibly accept that. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You won’t be! You know what? I’m going to call my mom.”

He fishes his phone in his pocket, checks the time – he doesn’t want to miss the train– and searches for his mom’s number in his contacts. Actually, he isn’t sure at 100% that she’ll agree, but it’s still worth the try, right?

She answers at the third ring.

“Hyunjin, sweetie? Is there a problem?” The worry is obvious in her voice. “Did you miss the train? I’m not driving all the way to Scotland to get you!”

“Hi, mom! No, don’t worry, I didn’t miss the train. I’m still at Hogwarts, in fact, I’m with a friend, and I have, uh, something to ask you.”

“Hmhm, I’m listening.”

“He… This friend, he can’t go home for the holidays, and I was wondering if… Maybe he could come with me and stay with us?”

“The whole two weeks?” exclaims his mom, surprised. “I don’t know, honey, it’s a bit long. You father and I were expecting to have a bit of time alone with you. It’s been so long since the last time we saw each other…”

Hyunjin throws a glance at Jeongin, who’s looking at him expectedly.

“I understand, but I don’t want him to be alone for Christmas…”

He hears his mom climb the stairs and he pictures her, with her long dresses and her black ponytail, her right hand holding the phone as she steadies herself with her left hand on the banister. “I’m not against him coming for a few days. He could come on the 24th, and go back to Hogwarts on the 28th, that way he won’t be alone for too long. Is that okay with him?”

Hyunjin repeats what his mother just said to Jeongin. The Ravenclaw looks touched as he nods, smiling.

“Then it’s settled!” concludes his mother. “I can’t wait to see you, sweetie.”

She hangs up, and Hyunjin purses his lips. He may not have gotten what he wanted, but it’s better than nothing. “I’m sorry it couldn’t be more…” he starts to apologize to Jeongin, but the younger shakes his head.

“Are you kidding? It’s more than I could have hoped for! Thank you, Jinnie. It means a lot to me.”

They hug once again, and Hyunjin is starting to wonder how he will be able to survive without him. The five days until they can see each other are going to be as long for him as they will be for Jeongin.

“I should go,” he says regretfully. “If I miss the train, I think my mom will disown me.”

Jeongin laughs. “Go, I wouldn’t want that for you.”

Hyunjin gets up, and his eyes stay locked in Jeongin’s. He’s overwhelmed by a sudden wave of affection towards the younger, and he has to fight the urge to go back and wrap him into a hug, otherwise he’ll never go. There’s so much things he wants to add, so much things he wants to do, but in the end he’s not bold enough to do any of these things, so he waves at Jeongin one last time before closing the door.

“You text me, okay?”

“I’ll text you.”

He smiles, and the warmth in his heart stays here for the rest of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay you know what I decided that I would do a sequel especially for minsung ehe!! so once this fic is over, we'll have a little sequel centered on minho and jisung!! yayyy 
> 
> thanks for all the kudos and comments <33 
> 
> if you wanna be moots on twitter, my @ is pilotsirens!! :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> home sweet home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi hiii i hope you're all well!! today's chapter is a bit longer than usual with more than 8k words woooh!

The sweet scent of fresh baked brioches wakes Hyunjin up while he is having a very fascinating dream about a group of boys in another country, which look a lot like his friends, performing on a stage in front of hundreds of people, singing and dancing. Which makes no sense at all, because except for him, none of them dance, and he’s never heard any of them sing.

He sits up, rubs his eyes and yawns, still not totally awake, his movements sluggish and ridden by sleep.

He is a bit disconcerted at first by the fact that his bed is way more comfortable than usual. And also because light comes in a flood, while at Hogwarts Seungmin always takes care of closing the shutters before going to bed. And then he remembers that he is not, in fact, at Hogwarts but in his bedroom at his parents’ house. He blinks once, twice, and his eyes finally adapt to the luminosity.

The room is painted in soft blue, a color he’s chosen when they’d first moved here and he was five. He likes it, it’s calm and peaceful. Although the room is a bit empty, considering almost everything is still packed in his suitcase, it feels like home. From the pictures on the walls to the books neatly stocked on his desk, everywhere his eyes land there’s something that reminds him of all the good times he had here. And the bad times, too, but he isn’t too keen on remembering these ones. Days crying himself to sleep because of someone who had bullied him at school, or because his father had a hard time at work. He shudders. These are memories he’s locked in a part of his brain, and he never wants to go back to them.

His eyes land on the alpaca plushie he’s brought here for the holidays, and a smile stretches on his lips. For the first time in months, he knows he has the whole day to himself, without having to worry about classes or homework. He can do whatever he wants. And right now, what he wants is to taste those delicious brioches he can smell.

He goes down the stairs, still in pajamas and his hair tied in a ponytail. His parents have been surprised, to say the least, when they’ve seen him with his blonde hair. But they thought it suited him, so it’s all that mattered.

Their reunion last night was really emotional, and Hyunjin might have shed a few tears. It isn’t his fault if he gets emotional easily! He’s just a very sensitive person, that’s all. It felt so good to hug his mom and his dad, and to play with Kkami again.

Speaking of Kkami, he wonders where the dog went. He’s positive that when he fell asleep last night, he was in the bed with him, snuggling in the crook of his neck. But he should be used to it by now: Kkami likes to snob him, like they haven’t known each other for many years. He’s probably in the kitchen with his mom. She doesn’t work on Saturdays, explaining why she has the time to cook. Hyunjin is grateful, because he always prefers when he’s not alone in the house, and in addition to that they will be able to talk. Yesterday they didn’t have much time to do so, as he was too tired to make conversation. He ate his grilled cheese sandwich before collapsing in his bed and sleeping for – ten hours straight, if the time indicated by the clock on the chimney is correct.

“Hi mom,” he greets when he enters the kitchen, and Mrs. Hwang raises her head from the newspaper she’s reading to smile brightly.

“Hi, sweetheart. Did you sleep well? I made brioche; I know how much you love it.”

She’s wearing a lilac dress today, with a black sweater to make sure she’s not going to be cold, and her hair is tied in a bun. As always, she has a kind smile on her face, and Hyunjin can’t help but think once again how lucky he is to have a mother as sweet.

“Yes, thank you. It feels great to be home.”

Hyunjin takes a seat and grabs a slice, munching it happily. They taste so good he almost lets out a moan. “Hmm! These are delicious! How do you manage to make them better than the last time every time?”

His mom chuckles, raising a hand to ruffle her son’s hair. “It’s my secret.”

Hyunjin eats as many slices as his stomach can take, with his mom watching him fondly as he does so. Once he’s finished, he puts the plate in the sink, and then sits back, ready for the amount of questions that he knows will follow.

“So! How was school? I want to know everything.”

This question can seem rather normal for a parent to ask his child, but he knows she’s not only talking about his friends and his grades. His parents being Muggles, they aren’t familiar at all with the wizard society, and sometimes Hyunjin has to explain the most basic things to them, how Hogwarts works and what kind of classes he takes. They’re curious about what it’s like to be in a magical school, and they often ask questions about trivial things, things that have become so natural for Hyunjin that he sometimes need time to remember exactly how they function. But it seems like he talks to a wall: he had to explain the rules of Quidditch at least five times by now, and they’re still lost when he mentions his role as a Seeker.

After six years, they began to have an understanding of the organization at Hogwarts, but he’s suspicious that sometimes they’re only pretending to know what he’s talking about to please him. In this case, he repeats the information, because it’s funny to see them with big eyes and open mouths like children on the morning of Christmas, when they hear something that a toddler in the wizard world would know about.

“It has gotten quite hard this year. We had so much exams in only one semester! Teachers are more strict than usual because they know it’s our last year, but I couldn’t wait to have a break. I feel like I did well in most of my exams, but we can’t be sure at 100%.”

“What subject is your favorite?” she asks excitedly. Hyunjin tries to repress a smile in front of his mother’s innocent enthusiasm. He’s pretty sure he told her last year, but he can’t blame her if she forgets, as it’s not words she’s familiar with.

“Uh, I like potions, and charms as well. They’re the classes I’m the most good at, so…”

She nods intensely.

“Great, great! And what about your friends?”

“Well, I’m still with Chan and Seungmin in the dorms, and I’ve made new friends as well! There’s Jisung, Felix, Eric, Minho and Jeongin. We met at Hogsmeade, you remember, the village where there’s only witches and wizards.”

“That’s great, honey. I’m glad you’re finally making more friends. Life is funnier when you have someone to share it with, and the more, the merrier! And tell me…”

She leans in, and Hyunjin has the impression that he’s not going to like what she has to say.

“Who’s the one you invited on Wednesday?”

He blushes slightly at the thought of Jeongin, the discussions they’ve had, their hugs, everything they’ve shared from their first meeting to the feelings he still has to think about. His mom seems to notice his distress, because she is now smiling smugly.

“Is something going on with him? Did my Jinnie finally find a boyfriend?” she mocks, clapping.

“Mom, please!” he whines, putting his hands on his ears.

Mrs. Hwang looks like she’s really proud of herself. “What? I’m just asking!” she says innocently. Hyunjin groans, but he can’t help the warmth spreading on his cheeks.

“He’s not my boyfriend! He’s just… Some guy! A friend! That I like a lot! But not like that!”

“Okay, okay,” she laughs, raising her hands in a sign of peace. “But remember, I’m our mom, and you can’t hide anything from me because I will know it if you lie.”

“I’m not lying! It’s true! At least for now it is,” he sighs, pouting.

He’s not sure he wants to have this discussion with his mom right now, when he just woke up and is still in pajamas, his mind clouded by sleep. But Mrs. Hwang has another opinion on the subject. She raises an eyebrow and puts back the cup of tea she was holding.

“ _At least for now_? I want more details than that, sweetie. There’s no escaping now.”

He doesn’t even know where to begin. He doesn’t mind telling his mom, because he’s always been really close with her and she helps him a lot whenever he is facing a dilemma or he’s unable to make a decision. When he received his letter for Hogwarts, his father wasn’t keen on letting him go to some magical school while his grades predicted a very successful career for him in a prestigious filed. He had difficulties accepting the fact that his son would probably spend the rest of his life in a world he knew nothing about. They fought for days. Hyunjin was almost sure he’d never be able to go, that he would have to go to the local middle school and continue his studies among boring, magicless students.

But he’d told his mother how much he wanted this life, this possibility he’d been offered. His mother had eased his father’s worries, showed him how happy it made Hyunjin. And in the end, he’d attended Hogwarts. Looking back on it, he couldn’t even imagine not going there. He’d met fantastic people, probably had the best years of his life. All thanks to his mother.

So, he has no problem sharing personal matters with her. But the thing is, he can’t even express his thoughts in words because his thoughts are a _mess_. Ever since he talked with Jeongin, his mind has been working nonstop, to the point where he has no idea what he feels anymore. He can always try, though, maybe it will help.

“The thing is… I know he likes me.”

His mother opens wide eyes, but she doesn’t interrupt him, and he’s grateful for it. “I know he likes me, and the way he described his feelings was very similar to… To my feelings.”

He wants to be with him. He likes being with him. He likes talking to him, hugging him, hearing him tell some jokes or random anecdotes about his day. But isn’t it how he’s supposed to be around friends? What is the difference between romantic feelings and platonic feelings?

“So what? You’re afraid of the commitment?” comments his mother when he doesn’t elaborate, taking a sip of tea. She seems to enjoy the situation immensely, while Hyunjin is sure he must look like a tomato right now. The more the conversation goes on and the more he can feel his cheeks heating.

He was about to say something, but her remark was not what he expected, and he stops to think about it. Afraid of the commitment? He was so busy trying to sort through his feelings he hadn’t even thought about… The after. About what would happen if after his little introspection he realized he liked Jeongin, but not as a friend. A whole new world of fears and worries suddenly opens to him.

“The commitment?” he repeats, trying to process this new piece of information.

“Yes, you know, being with someone and having the responsibilities that come with it. Building a relationship is a bit deeper than “I like him, he likes me.” There’s a lot of factors to take into account. I understand it can be frightening, but you can overcome obstacles more easily if this relation is something you both want.”

He blinks once, twice.

“Why are relationships so complicated?” he whines, taking his head in his hands. “How did you and Dad manage? How do everyone manage?”

His mother chuckles.

“You know, it hasn’t always been easy between your father and I. We fought several times at the beginning of our relationship, and I even believed we wouldn’t last as a couple.”

He raises his head, surprised. “You and Dad used to fight? I thought it had been love at first sight.”

“Love doesn’t mean you don’t fight! We’re all humans, and we all have different ways of thinking and of handling problems. It’s almost impossible to avoid misunderstandings and disagreements, because there’s always a moment where you want to do things your way and the other doesn’t agree. But it doesn’t matter, because you work through it together.”

Hyunjin purses his lips. He hasn’t even decided the nature of his feelings for Jeongin and he is already thinking about them fighting. Well, he doesn’t really picture them fighting, because they’re both really understanding and open to discussion, but who knows? Seeing the way his parents are now, he wouldn’t have thought they used to fight, either.

“It’s just…It feels like I’m the only one having trouble with this and everyone else knows how to date. My friends, Seungmin and Felix, they’re together now and… It seems so easy for them. I would like to have a relationship like that. But I’m always asking myself too many questions… It’s like I can’t just go with the flow and do what my heart tells me to do, because I think too much.”

“But honey, every relationship is different. What works for one won’t work for the other. It’s up to you to decide how you want it to go. I agree you have a tendency of overthinking, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It is if it prevents you from doing things you will regret later. But some people don’t think enough and it’s not really good either.” She paused to move a hand towards him, wrapping around his own. “It’s because you care about others that you think so much about every of your actions. I’m guessing you don’t want to give false hopes to Jeongin by telling him the feeling is mutual, right?”

He nods. Like always, his mother sees right through him, and manages to put words on what he’s thinking when even himself can’t.

“What if I tell him yes and then I realize it isn’t the case? I love him too much to lose him.”

“If the answer isn’t obvious for you, then you’re right to wait. It has to be clear in your head, a big, enthusiastic “yes, this is what I feel and I’m sure of it”. Take your time, go at your own pace.”

He actually feels reassured hearing this. He still has a bit of time to figure it out. He doesn’t want to keep Jeongin waiting, but he doesn’t want to lie to him either.

“Thank you,” he says finally, squeezing his mother’s hand.

She smiles, and then get up and starts cleaning the table, suddenly very energetic.

“Enough talking about boys! What do you think about cooking today’s lunch with me?”

“I would love to.” He stands up and grabs one of the aprons neatly folded in the cupboard above the oven, tying his hair correctly to avoid loose strands falling in his face. “What are we cooking?”

  * · ─────── ·· ─────── · ·



When Mr. Hwang comes back from work at midday, he finds his wife and his son in the kitchen, covered in flour and laughing loudly. He raises an eyebrow, curious of the circumstances which led them to be in this state.

“I leave one morning and when I come back my house is a mess!” he exclaims lightheartedly.

Kkami starts barking, as if to second his words. Hyunjin smiles widely.

“We started making a pie for dessert, but we had an accident with the flour…”

He points to the packet, spread out on the table, from which the flour is still leaking out. Hyunjin, not used to baking, had started pouring the flour before his mom could tell him he had to be careful because it flooded at once.

“I guess I’m not made for cooking,” he apologizes as his mother starts bringing the vacuum cleaner to get rid of the thousands of small white particles covering the kitchen floor. “Wait, I’ll help you.”

He grabs the sponge and starts wiping the sink and the table. His father shakes his head. “I’ll go and watch my hands. Good luck with this!”

Hyunjin giggles, the incident replaying in his head, the eyes wide open of his mother when the flour had spread everywhere. Hyunjin had felt terribly sorry at first, but she’d assured him it wasn’t a big deal. “It happened to me too, when I started cooking,” she had said, smiling softly.

Soon the mess is cleaned up and they can all sit at the table, ready to eat the delicious meal Hyunjin and his mother prepared together. They hesitated a long time about what they would make for lunch, before settling on some chicken, rice and a curry sauce. Hyunjin is sceptic about his talents, but after swallowing a mouthful, he can say it tastes pretty good.

After everyone has made compliments about the meal, they talk and talk. They talk about pretty much everything, school and work and how their respective lives are going. Hyunjin tells them how the ball went, what happened at the Quidditch match, and he’s in the middle of explaining that at the last Divination class the teacher predicted he was going to live a successful life when he notices his parents glancing at each other and being strangely silent about all his anecdotes.

“What?” he worries suddenly, looking at them. He immediately feels his heart tighten. Did something happen and they hid it from him because they were afraid he would react badly? Did they suddenly decide to remove him from school so he could become a doctor in the Muggle world? He drops his fork in his plate, waiting for the inevitable bad news that he can sense will follow.

“Hyunjin… Speaking of your future,” starts his mother, looking at his father to make sure he’s okay with what she’s going to say. “We gave you some time to think about what you wanted to do with your life, but it’s already Christmas and before you know it, the year will be over. You have to find something, dear.”

Hyunjin stops munching for a while, frozen. His heart drops in his chest.

He knew it would happen sooner or later, of course. The end of his studies. Finding a job. Being a responsible adult. His parents had tried to approach the subject last summer, but he’d brushed off their concerns and told them he still had time. But they were right. It was going to be the middle of the year soon, and he would inevitably have to think about the future.

The future. The word himself makes him shiver. He does his best to avoid thinking about it, because it makes him anxious. He doesn’t like change. He doesn’t like thinking about the fact that he’s going to have to leave his comfort zone to enter a whole new environment. He will have to take his marks again, learn to meet new people, make new friends. It terrifies him.

He doesn’t even know what he wants to do after he finishes his studies at Hogwarts. It’s a blurry mess. Even Divination can’t help him. There’s so much possibilities, but at the same time, there isn’t. There’s a lot of things to take into account, how much money he will make, will it be boring, does he have the skills required, etc.

He spent so long pushing these worries to the back of his head so he could concentrate on more pleasant matter. But he has to face it now; he can’t run away forever. Time waits for no one.

“I… Still don’t know,” he admits, and he feels the disappointment in his parents’ eyes.

“When you were younger, you wanted to be a doctor,” suggests his mother. “You know, there’s a great medical school in London, I’m sure you could apply and…”

“I don’t want to work with the Muggles, mom,” he protests, and regrets immediately when he sees the look of hurt on his mother’s face.

He knows it’s a touchy subject. Even if his parents agreed to let him go to Hogwarts, they aren’t the most thrilled at the idea of their son staying in the wizard world. He knew that they always hoped that he would come back at some point.

But Hyunjin doesn’t want to. He loves his parents, but he never felt like he belonged here, with them, in the Muggle world. All he received at school was snarky comments and naughty boys pulling his hair. 

He feels like the wizard world is where he needs to be. Here, he feels really accepted, seen for himself. Sure, it isn’t perfect, but it is way more tolerant than the Muggle world and he can’t imagine going back to it after everything he lived at Hogwarts.

Plus, he has his friends here. He intends on staying with them a long time, and it won’t be possible if he creates a new life here, far from them. He already grew distant from Changbin, his childhood friend, when he discovered he was a wizard. He doesn’t want the same thing to happen again. He doesn’t want to lose his friends.

But he feels silly telling his parents that. He already knows what they will answer: that his friends aren’t the most important thing to consider when planning his future. That he should think of his career first. But for Hyunjin, it is important. They are important. He can’t imagine going on with his life without them by his side. Why shouldn’t they matter when thinking about his career? They’re what makes him happy!

He doesn’t understand why friendship isn’t taken seriously when, in fact, it is one of the basis of social interactions. Why is moving to the other side of the country acceptable when it’s to be with a wife or a husband, but viewed as weird when it’s to be with a friend? Especially since friendships last longer than romance, and often date back to high school or college. He has no idea why it is this way, but he doesn’t like it.

“You mean you are going to live hidden all your life?” says Mr. Hwang, frowning. “Is that what you really want?”

Hyunjin tenses. “What do you mean?”

They parents exchange a look again. Hyunjin always thought their way of communicating without words was cute, but right now he finds it infuriating.

“The… The wizards,” starts his father. “They live in the same society as us, but they’re hidden. They have to conceal their powers. Do you want to spend your whole life like this? Unable to be truly yourself?”

Hyunjin chuckles, but it’s humorless. It’s funny that his father mentions the exact thing that made him choose to give up on the Muggle world.

“If I live here, won’t it be the same? I’ll never have an occasion to use my powers. At least if I’m with others like me, I’ll be able to use them most of the time.”

His answer makes his father frowns. Hyunjin really doesn’t want to fight with them, but it seems like they don’t understand how important this is for him.

“Mom, you were the one who convinced dad to let me go at Hogwarts. You know what it means to me. Do you understand that I would like to practice magic in the future too? This wasn’t just some temporary thing. I’m a wizard, I have powers, and studying to master them is only the first part. After that, we’re supposed to put them to used! Coming back to the Muggle world to study something else entirely would mean I wasted eight years of my life making potion and casting spells.”

He’s out of breath after his little speech, but he feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He runs a hand through his hair, untying his ponytail and letting the blonde strands fall on either side of his face. Strangely, it gives him comfort. At this very instant he’s determined to get what he wants from life, to make himself heard. He wants to be truly himself.

For at least one minute, there is only silence in the room, save for Kkami’s occasional barking. Hyunjin didn’t talk too loudly, careful of not making it look like he’s talking back. He only wishes to make himself understand, not to start a war.

Thankfully, his parents don’t seem angered. In fact, they seem more disheartened than anything.

“We were hoping we could see you more often,” says his mother finally, and he immediately loses all of his newfound combativity. “Ever since you’ve been at Hogwarts, you’ve only come back during the holidays, and we didn’t even see you grow. From the age of 11, you were gone half of the year. We just… We just want our son close to us before he leaves to make his own family.”

Hyunjin wasn’t expecting this. He thought this was about having a normal job just so his parents could have the impression of being normal, when all along it had been about them missing him. A sudden wave of emotion threatens to overwhelm him. He feels the tears well up in his eyes and he brushes them off, not willing to cry now.

“I’m sorry, I hadn’t seen things like that,” he whispers.

He understands it must have been hard for his parents. He was still very young when he left for Hogwarts, barely out of childhood. And yet they let their only child go to a school they knew nothing of, only because some old woman had showed up at their door and told them she was a witch and that Hyunjin was one, too. He’d been so happy, so caught up in his own, selfish desire that he hadn’t thought about the sacrifice his parents had made. They could’ve had their son at home for at least five more years, and instead he went to a boarding school far away from them, only to come back during the holidays.

He feels bad for having seen only his point of view. It was clear that his parents put his happiness first, and as a result, they agreed to lose him for a little while.

“It’s okay, Jinnie. Children are bound to leave at one moment or another. But we would have liked to share more things with you as you grew up.”

Hyunjin bites his lips, unsure of what he has to say. He’s sad that his parents feel this way, but he doesn’t intend on living in the Muggle world, even after everything they said. His place is with other wizards like him. But how can he explain that?

“I’m sorry…” he repeats softly. “I understand. I- Maybe when I finish school, I can come here for a while and find some work and live here before I go back. Would that… Would that be okay?”

He is desperate to bring back a smile to his mom’s face, to get rid of the sadness that lingers in her eyes.

“We’ll support you either way,” assures his father. “It’s your own decision to make.”

He nods, and his mother gets up and claps. “Well, Hyunjin, thank you for helping me cooking. It was delicious.”

She starts picking up the plates and Hyunjin stands up to help her. He knows the conversation will likely continue later, but for now he can rest a bit.

Once everything is cleaned up, his father suggests they play a game, and soon they’re all playing cards, the future career of Hyunjin forgotten. Even if he has to think about it at some point, he doesn’t want to do it now. As his parents said, they don’t see him very often, so he has to make the most of his moments with them.

· ─────── ·· ─────── · ·

Eventually his father goes back to work and his mother is taking a nap in her room, leaving him alone. Hyunjin wanders in the house, goes in the garden to play with Kkami a bit and then ends up on the couch watching TV.

He’s planned on meeting Changbin, his childhood friend, later this afternoon, and he’s very excited about it. They haven’t seen each other since February, almost a year, and there’s so many things he wants to share with him. He looks at the clock, wishing time could go faster.

There’s nothing interesting on TV, only some cliché soap opera that bores him to death, and he just keeps watching because he has nothing else better to do. He could read a book, but he’s way too impatient to concentrate for more than five minutes. It seems like he has the attention span of a goldfish.

Finally, it’s time to go. He jumps out of the couch, puts on his coat and shoes and exits the house, a large smile on his face. They planned on meeting in the park nearby, because Changbin lives just ten minutes away from Hyunjin by foot and the park is at the same distance between their two houses.

When he arrives, he recognizes him from afar.

Changbin is sitting on a wall, legs moving slightly, probably at the rhythm of the music he’s listening to with his headphones. His hair is dark, his bangs pushed on either side of his forehead. He hasn’t changed much from what he remembers. He’s wearing a grey hoodie and blue jeans with sneakers, and he’s so busy drawing on a sketchpad he doesn’t notice right away that Hyunjin is walking towards him.

When the blonde boy gets closer, he hears Changbin muttering softly the lyrics of the song. A smile stretches on his face.

“Changbin?” he calls, and his friend raises his head suddenly, putting a hand on his heart.

“Hyunjin, you scared me!” He smiles right after and jumps off the wall to hug him. Hyunjin closes his eyes and hugs him tighter. After the discussion with his parents, he’s happy to see someone that he knows won’t judge him or tell him what he thinks is best for him. “Wow, you’re blonde now! It suits you so well. And your hair got longer, too!” exclaims Changbin once they’ve disentangled.

“Aha, yeah, I wanted a change…”

“Maybe I should do that, too,” thinks Changbin, taking one strand of his own hair between his fingers. You think blonde would suit me?”

“I think everything would suit you, you’re so pretty you can pull off any haircut and hair color,” chuckles Hyunjin. “How have you been? It feels like forever! I missed you!”

The moment the words are out of his mouth, he realizes how true they are. He really missed Changbin, he’s glad to be with him again.

“I’m great, I missed you too. Do you want to sit?” he asks, pointing to the wall. Hyunjin nods and hauls himself up on the wall, making sure not to fall backwards. It isn’t really high, but he has other plans for his afternoon than falling into bushes of thorns.

Once he’s comfortable, at least as comfortable as you can be on a stone wall, he has a good view on Changbin’s sketchbook and leans on to get a closer look.

“Wow, you really improved!”

Changbin blushes. “You think so? Those are just doodles, they’re nowhere near as good as my other drawings.”

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “If you consider this doodles, then I’d like to doodle like that, too. Can I look?”

“Sure.” He hands him the sketchbook and Hyunjin flips the pages to go back to the first one. It’s the drawing of a bird, a crow, wings spread with a ribbon attached on his leg.

“You can, like, add a message here if you want. I mean, for the people who want this as a tattoo.”

“It’s so pretty!” Hyunjin keeps going, marveling at the drawings and the sketches, pointing details he likes, Changbin sometimes adding precision when needed. It’s just like old times, he thinks as they laugh together. They fell back on their routine easily, like they’d never been apart. Hyunjin’s mood gets significantly better. 

The drawings are various, some of animals, other of faces, but they have on thing in common: they’re all really good. Hyunjin may not know much about art, but he’s not blind. Changbin had always been a talented artist anyway, even when they were in primary school. The teachers used to shower him with

“I remembered when we were younger,” says Hyunjin fondly, “and you kept scrawling in the margins of your notes.”

Changbin smiles at the memory. “I did. At that time, I didn’t think for one second that it would lead me where I am today. I always thought I would follow my father’s footsteps and work with him at the shop, you know? But I ended up in art school, for the better or the worst.”

“Do you… Regret it sometimes?” hesitates Hyunjin, closing the sketchbook. His discussion with his parents is still fresh in his mind, and as much as he would like to enjoy the afternoon without thinking about it, he wonders if Changbin might help him by bringing another point of view. After all, he knows what he wants to do in life, and he works hard to achieve his dreams.

His friend purses his lips, visibly thinking of an answer. “Hmm… I guess sometimes I have these phases where I feel like I’m a failure and I’m never going to succeed. Phases where I tell myself I should have chosen other studies, something like business or science, to be sure to have a job. But then I remember what makes me happy in life. It’s drawing. I wouldn’t have been happy doing something else, and I’d rather have difficulties finding a job than spending all of my life doing something boring. I want to wake up every morning and not be immediately discouraged by the day to come, like I was when I worked these student jobs to earn a bit of money. I thought that they were exactly what I didn’t want to do later.”

“Okay…” says Hyunjin, his mind processing all the information. “Thank you. I ask because… I feel like I’m completely lost.”

He finally said it out loud, after not wanting to admit it in front of his parents. He sighs. It feels both liberating and terrifying, showing himself in a vulnerable state like that. At his age, most students have all things figured out. Chan destines himself to be an Alchemist, since he loves experimenting and testing new spells and combinations of elements, while Seungmin would like to be an editor in a newspaper. Hyunjin, instead, has absolutely no idea, and he half-expects Changbin to be surprised, even judgmental. But Changbin doesn’t say anything disdainful, and instead nods and puts a hand on his shoulder, bringing him closer.

“I understand how you feel. It’s frightening, all these choices, and you’re supposed to suddenly decide what you want to do for the rest of your life when you don’t even know what to eat for dinner. Well, at least I have to prepare my own meals, but I guess you have a cafeteria at your boarding school, so the metaphor doesn’t really work in your case."

Hyunjin laughs. Changbin doesn’t know that he’s a wizard, and even though he feels a bit sad to lie to his childhood friend, he knows it would only make things more complicated. He just thinks he’s at a boarding school in Scotland, which is quite close to the truth. Except the boarding school is a magic one.

Of course, it means he can’t tell him about his dilemma of staying in the Muggle world or in the Wizard world. But he can always listen to what he has to say and make his own conclusions later.

“I don’t want to think about it, but I’ll have to at some point,” he sighs, already tired of the subject. He feels like he always says the same thing. _Yes, I’ll think about it later._

“Well, what I advise you is to be happy. I know money’s important, but I feel like living a life where you hate your job, even if the salary is good, isn’t worth it. Of course, it is easier in theory than in practice…”

“I think my parents would like me to earn a lot of money.”

“But your parents aren’t going to live your life. You’re going to have to wake up every morning and work in a field that hopefully you chose, and if you don’t like it, you will blame them how you want but it won’t change the fact that you will be stuck with a job you hate.”

Hyunjin hums, thoughtful. He’s not sure about how he feels about this. But for now, he’ll do as always and keep this problem for later. He smiles and then makes a sweeping gesture.

“Anyway, I’m not here to talk about this. I’ll have plenty of time to worry about that later, but for now, I’d like to enjoy my afternoon with you.”

“I agree,” nods Changbin. “So, what’s up? Any interesting news you’d like to share? Something big that happened in your life? I want to know everything.”

Hyunjin’s mind immediately goes to Jeongin, and he mentally slaps himself for it. Why is he so obsessed with him? It’s like he entered his life and now he’s constantly in his head. When he sees books, he thinks of Jeongin, of their first encounter at the library. When he sees his mother’s fox-themed biscuit tin, he thinks of his Animagus form. When he hears music, he remembers the hours they spent together giving each other singer and band recommendations, listening to them together. When he smells vanilla, he thinks of him, because he knows one of their roommates has a vanilla scented candle that he lights up every night, and then every one of Jeongin and Minho’s clothes end up smelling like that. He doesn’t complain, he likes the scent. It reminds him of when they hug.

Yup, Hyunjin thinks a lot about Jeongin. He doesn’t know if it means something. And he doesn’t know if he should tell Changbin about it either.

“Er, I have no fresh news for you, I’m afraid,” he settles for instead. “Oh, I’m still part of the football team, but our only match was cancelled because of the weather.”

Because he couldn’t decently mention Quidditch to a Muggle, he thought of pretending to do another sport years ago, and the lie still stands until now. Changbin seemed surprised to hear that he was playing football the first time, but thankfully he didn’t question it.

Hyunjin tells him about school, with a little twist to his words so that all things magical aren’t mentioned, and then they fall back into easy banter and jokes. But before they can dive any further into their conversation, Changbin suggests going to a coffeeshop nearby so they won’t freeze to death. Hyunjin is more than happy to follow him. It’s a place he went to with his parents when he was younger. It’s also a bakery, and he remembers he loved their brownie cake.

They enter and the familiar smell of pastries hit him. He thought that after eating so much at lunch, he wouldn’t be hungry before dinner, but the sight of the cakes aligned on the display stand are mouthwatering and he feels his stomach rumble.

“It’s strange being here again,” says Hyunjin dreamily as he looks around. He can see a younger version of himself running to the last booth, grabbing the sleeve of his mother to drag her with him. He remembers how big the cakes seemed in his plate; how happy he was that he would taste something different. He smiles. The memories are heartwarming.

“What will it be for you?” asks the woman behind the counter. She’s really pretty, with big brown eyes framed by long eyelashes and short black hair.

“I’ll take a coffee and a slice of chocolate cake, thank you,” answers Changbin before looking at Hyunjin, the question unsaid but obvious, encouraging him to continue.

“I’ll take a latte with a brownie, please.”

The woman nods and start preparing their order. While waiting for her, Hyunjin is tapping his foot at the rhythm of the music coming from the speakers. It’s an energetic pop song he’s never heard before, but it’s catchy and he likes it. He’s not up to date with the latest releases here. The wizards occasionally know some Muggle songs, but it’s still rare, and of course the opposite is impossible, considering the Muggles don’t even know about the existence of magic.

“Here you go! Enjoy!”

Finally, they take the trays they’re handed with their beverages and pastries on it and head towards the nearest table, the one near the painting of a man and a woman embracing each other, made with small geometrical forms and golden hues. Hyunjin finds it pretty.

“It’s a Klimt painting,” says Changbin, noticing his interest. “Well, not the real one, of course. It’s called The Kiss.”

It does ring a bell in Hyunjin’s head. He may have done most of his schooling in a wizarding school, but he still has basic knowledge of the Muggle’s cultural and artistic history.

“Hmm, yes, I know it. It’s quite famous, right?”

“It sure is. I like it too.”

They stay silent for a few moments, staring at the reproduction. “Did you know that the historians still can’t determine who the woman is? It could be one of Klimt’s two recurring models, or maybe his partner represented with him.” He purses his lips, thoughtful. “It must be kinda cool, having an artist as your significant other, because they can turn you into a real work of art.”

“You say that like you weren’t an artist yourself,” snorts Hyunjin. “Don’t you have anyone you like at your school? Then you would both be able to turn each other into a work of art.”

Changbin blushes, and Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. He was saying this on a lighthearted tone, but he didn’t imagine it might actually be true.

“Oooh. Do you have something to say to me?” he wiggles his eyebrows, causing Changbin to give him a kick in the calf. He whines dramatically, even though it barely hurt. “I’m going to limp because of you!”

“I’m sure you’ll survive,” says his friend, rolling his eyes.

“But I want to know! Who is this mysterious person?”

Changbin glares at him, but Hyunjin is unimpressed. He’s used to it, and he isn’t intimidated anymore like when they were six and seven years old.

“I don’t even know them,” he insists. “I won’t be able to tell anything!”

It’s true that he isn’t the best at keeping a secret, but in two weeks he’ll be back at Hogwarts and he won’t have any occasion to spill the beans to Changbin’s crush before that.

“Come oooon,” he begs, pouting. This seems to make him falter.

“Okay, fine! Their name’s Rowan, they’re really cool.”

Hyunjin smiles triumphantly.

“Of course they’re cool. You’d never fall in love with someone lame.”

“I’m not in love with them!” he protests loudly, earning side glances from the other customers. “I’m not in love,” he repeats more calmly. “I like them, that’s all.”

“Uh uh. And does they like you too?”

Changbin mumbles something that he can’t hear. “What?”

“I said I don’t know! I never asked!”

“I thought you were braver than that,” remarks Hyunjin.

“Well, I’m not.”

“So tell me more about this… Rowan. What are they like?”

Changbin complains just for the sake of it, but he actually starts talking about them with a fond look in his eyes. He’s obviously smitten, and Hyunjin is happy to see it. His friend deserves love. He knew it hasn’t been easy for Changbin once Hyunjin had left, because the two of them had always been together during their childhood, never getting to know anyone else. Just like Hyunjin was lost when he arrived at Hogwarts, Changbin was lost when he arrived in middle school. Except it didn’t get better for him until high school.

He never told Hyunjin much about these years, but he knew it was tough. He deserved nothing but the best, and since Hyunjin couldn’t be here all the time, he was glad there was someone else to take over him.

Rowan really does seem cool. According to Changbin, they have those really cool ear piercings and hair dyed a bright blue. As he’s describing them, his own thoughts go to Jeongin, like they always seem to do nowadays. He wonders briefly if he would look like this too while talking about him, eyes soft and lips stretched in a smile. How would he describe Jeongin, if he was asked? It would be difficult. There’s no words to sum up the warm feeling that blooms in his chest every time he sees him. There’s also no words to explain the nature of their relationship. It’s something vague and mysterious, something he’s never felt before, frightening and intimidating, but strangely Hyunjin, who’s never been the adventurous type, wants nothing but to keep going to see where it leads them.

“…And they always bring me a chocolate bar before class, and it’s stupid, but it’s so cute at the same time… Are you listening?”

Hyunjin blinks. He hadn’t realized his thoughts had drifted off. He shakes his head, tries to come back to reality. “Yeah, sorry. The way you talk about them, it reminded me of someone.”

“Oh my god, so finally, it happened.”

“What do you mean finally it happened?”

“I mean _finally,_ you fell in love with someone too.”

“I’m not- I thought you weren’t in love with them though?”

“I- we’re not talking about me anymore! We’re talking about you!”

“But I feel bad for not listening to you! Keep going!”

“Ttt-tt-tt, you’re not going to get out of this so easily, Hwang Hyunjin. I’m done talking, so now I’m all ears for your story.”

Hyunjin hesitates. He doesn’t know why he should keep Jeongin a secret. There’s no reason to do so. In fact, he realizes he even _wants_ to talk about him. He wants to tell Changbin every detail he loves so much about him. So, he starts to talk.

He’s in the middle of explaining how Jeongin always has a smile on his face to brighten the day of his friends around him that Changbin chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief.

“What?” worries Hyunjin immediately. “Did I say something funny?”

“No, no, it’s quite the opposite actually.” He drinks a bit of his coffee before putting it back on the table and smiling at Hyunjin. “I’ve never seen you like this. You seem to love him very much.”

“Of course I love him,” protests Hyunjin, “like I love you or Chan or Seungmin.”

But the moment he says it, he knows it’s not the entire truth. The feeling has the same intensity, but not quite the same steadiness. When he thinks about Chan or Seungmin or Changbin, he feels the amount of love he has for them, but it’s regular, constant. When he thinks of Jeongin, his heart is beating faster and though it’s not stronger, the feeling is definitely different, more all over the place, like he can’t really wrap his mind around it and define it. Does that mean he likes him… In a romantic way?

“How do you tell?” he sighs, frustrated. “I’m tired of asking myself too many questions!”

“I think the fact that you’re asking yourself these questions says a lot already. If it was friendship, you would know, because it wouldn’t be different from what you’re used to, and you wouldn’t have made a fuss about it. Since you seem so troubled, it must be something else, something new. I think you have a crush, my dear Hyunjin. And you got it bad.”

Changbin’s words linger in the air for a few seconds before connections are made in Hyunjin’s brain and he finally understands them. Oh. _Oh._

He hadn’t thought about it like that. He hadn’t thought that the questions might be the answers.

But it really does make sense now. He’d never had to wonder like that before because it had always been obvious it was friendship. With Minho, Felix, Eric, Jisung, he was in his comfort zone. Jeongin was like that before, too. But the more they were getting to know each other and the more Hyunjin was confused. And he wasn’t confused with Minho or Eric or Jisung.

“But what if it’s just… A really strong friendship?” he suggests, still not totally convinced, but the death glare Changbin throws at him makes him raise his hands in retaliation. “Okay, okay, but we cannot know for sure!"

“Hyunjin, I know you’re not used to feeling this way, but if I can offer an external point of view… I may not know what’s going on inside your head, but you seem pretty infatuated to me.”

This time, he doesn’t know what to say. His eyes fall on his half-eaten brownie, and his mind is reeling.

So maybe it is true, then. Maybe Hyunjin really has a crush on Jeongin. He repeats it in his head, unsure. It’s still new, but it doesn’t sound wrong when he thinks of it that way.

“Okay. And what if I do have a crush?”

“The rest is up to you and him. It’s about what you want and don’t want, but I can’t figure that out for you. You’ll have to talk with him.”

He promised him he would go back to him anyway, after he had sorted his feelings. He guesses that until Tuesday, he still has a bit of time to organize his thoughts.

But even though it’s still fresh in his mind, he’s slowly getting used to the idea of loving him— in a romantic way, this time. The thought does something to his heart.

“Thank you, Changbin!” he gets up to hug the other across the table, almost spilling his latte. “You actually helped me a lot.”

“Don’t sound so surprised. You’re welcome. And when you get married, I’ll get to be your best man, right?”

Hyunjin has so many things on his mind he doesn’t even bother telling him they’re not there yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be the last one!! I think I'll post it in about a week ehe!   
>  thank you for comments and kudos as always!! ily


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